Hitan writes

7 lucky smiles

2010-02-06T16:59:00.000-08:00

He chopped the firewood. He had done this the whole morning, it helped him to think and right now, he needed to think. Hard.

If she gives me seven warm smiles without asking, I'll ask her to stay, he thought, chopping the next branch in two. He let the ax fall by his side and searched for her, but before he could find her, he stopped himself.

"What am I doing?" he belittled himself, right before her slender hand touched his shoulder.

"You want something to drink?"

He wasn't waiting her to be right behind him. "You de...!" he choked. She looked like she hadn't heard him, also this wasn't the way to gather the seven smiles. Even weirder was she seemed amused. She had been doing laundry and had the piles of fresh sheets supported on her right hand. She was calm and had this funny look in her eyes.
"I'll bring you something cold." she added quickly and traveled back to the house, pup following her.

The dog had taken over watching after her. When he came back after two months, it was obvious, who was dog's master now. He was mad at first, woman ruing a good investment, but he soon discovered she had taught him several very useful tricks and as there was hardly any visitors in this area of the county, she must of felt pretty lonely. He was actually pleased with her results and how the dog still looked interesting in learning new skills instead looking dead in eyes, something he disliked while living in the mansion, where he saw all those dogs, just following orders.

"You are so tight today and absent minded!" he suddenly heard. "Enemies can put your house on fire and you wouldn't even notice them!" she laughed holding up the tunc filled with water. He grabbed the glass from her. She waited patiently while he goggled it all up in one sip and took it from him. "Are you all right?"

"Why do you ask?" He was reluctant to talk to her right now. Her worry was too much right now, especially now when he had just accepted he wanted her to stay. It's not like she had anywhere to go back to. She missed the people sometimes, but she wasn't eager to find the way back either. He promised himself, he will offer her to go searching for her people if she wants so before asking her to stay. It only seemed fair as she had given up so much unwillingly and lost everything, while she deserved more than he could ever give her. Support and economical independence, yes, but that didn't seem to be the main what she was seeking.

"Akan?" He grunted, she gave him a smile. "You're staring at me again."

"I'm just thinking."

"I can see that. Would you like to share what's on your mind?"

"Eloise," he paused, before continuing, "you ever wonder, how it would be if you get to go back home?"

Her cheerful smile that had followed her the whole morning was wiped away in mere second. She nodded.

"Yes." She felt the need to add something to this empty sentence. "Sometimes... Well, I know I can't really get back, so I don't really think about it much. I wonder if my parents are alright, my sisters and Bella, our dog, but..."
"How much do you remember from the journey here?" he continued not letting her brush the conversation away like she usually did.

She staid silent. She had thought hard on how she got here, but nothing came up that could help her back in her world.

"There is no way back." she whispered, so curtain of it her knuckles turned white. She felt like being interrogated. Did he want to get rid of her now? "If I'd know the way, would you think I'd stayed here for so long?"
Her face turned pale and Akan knew it had to be the result of his flushed cheeks. He felt suddenly so angry he couldn't hide it. He wasn't angry at her, but at himself not thinking this thing properly through before coming to her. Of chores she wanted to leave.

"I didn't mean it like that..." she whispered apologizing. "I didn't... " she didn't know how to explain it. She had thought of escaping this god forsaken world for months and now she had blurted it all out, in time when she had already accepted staying here. This was so wrongly timed.

"Would you really like to go if given the chance?" he asked calmly, ignoring her babbling.

She took a seat on the billet he used for making firewood. “I don’t know…” she answered. “I haven’t given it much thought.” She was obviously lying, but hiding it so well he couldn’t make the difference. “It’s all so different now, I don’t know if I’d…” she fell silent for a moment, like realizing suddenly, where the conversation led, or at least where she thought it was going, but she had to make sure, so she used her sharp voice once more. “Why do you ask these things? You wish to send me away?”

He shook his head. “Why would you think that?” he sounded hurt. “I ask if you want to go home and you immediately assume I’m to send you away.”

“Well?” she wasn’t about to give up. It seemed she had taken the hold of the situation and he didn’t like it one bit.

“I was thinking…” her beautiful sharp eyes took his attention to themselves and he lost his thought. “Never mind!” He took the ax and waved her away from his way.
She rose, but the smile was gone from her lips. She observed him chop few logs. He only meant good, she knew and it would be wrong to leave him with the expression she didn’t appreciate it. He was about to make an offer she couldn’t refuse, or could she?

Two arms wrapped themselves around his chest, the cold tunc against his abdomen.

“I have no reason to seek the way back home.” She whispered, resting her head against his back. “It was natural for me to go, but now I would be leaving too much behind to start again.”

She was crossing the lines of a good taste but she didn’t care – there was no one to see this and she was sure he won’t be telling either. She had thought long on this, on how it was actually God’s doing to take her from her parents when she reached the time of finding her own way and lead her here, where she felt home for once.

But he wasn’t responding to her sudden emotional outburst, but just stood there. This wasn’t right anymore and she was about to pull back, when his stiff fingers suddenly captured hers and didn’t let her to take hers away. He turned slightly, afraid of what he’d find, not her worried face. Her eyes were slightly wet, which she brushed quickly dry.

“You wouldn’t lose anything important.” He promised. “If you do wish to go, you won’t be leaving anything important behind.” I will come with you, he told himself.
She didn’t know what he meant, but this notion only angered her, how could he think so little of himself?

“Oh! I forgot the meal!”

He reached down to kiss her, but she had already pushed herself away, eyes clear as day and pup dragging her from the light yellow apron she was wearing.
“I’m coming!” she almost sang, running after the dog that was eager to be fed hearing the word food mentioned in the conversation.

They almost didn’t say a word during the whole meal, he ignored her and she accepted that. This was going too fast for him, he was yet at the seven smile step in his mind and wasn’t ready for what had just happened. After eating he headed back to chop wood while she took time for the little green garden not far from the house.
The sun was golden now, covering everything with it’s beams, bringing out all the flying particles in the air, making them shine and sparkle. He thought it was about time to finish up for the day and stretched his back.

He watched her work with her fork when something suddenly caught her eye, taking it way over the field, where the forest was. She burst in laughter and looked in awe, when showing towards one very happy dog followed by a very angry fox. Just before the fox was to reach their borders, the pup turned and the situation was totally opposite. But he couldn’t keep his attention on them, he was observing her lucky and calm face filled with happiness.

“One.” He counted gladly and smiled in amusement. He had caught the first of the seven smiles and now he knew what they had to be to count – not the ones a horny youth searches from their lovers, but these, peaceful impressions of happiness she felt while being around this place.

Viis ronka

2010-02-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

Märkuseks: See lugu on juba üleval olnud korra, kuid mingil ajahetkel oli ta väga kadunud. Seega, et ta jälle ringlusesse saaks.

Algab see lugu pisikeses katusekambris, mille seintel on vana kulunud tapeet ja rõske kopituse hais. On kaks poolt- üks, kus asume meie, kaks noort praktikandivanust noort neidu, kaks noormeest ja üks veidi vanem härra, kes paistavad seal viibivat selleks, et mingeid dokumente arhiivi koguda või midagi sellist. Tunnen, et olen koos mingisuguse rühmaga, kes uurivad selles paigas aset leidnud sündmusi ja mina olen seal sellepärast, et olen seal kunagi elanud. Nagu hiljem selgub, on kogu küla muutunud paari päeva jooksul kummituskülaks. Sündmused toimusid siis kui mina olin alles väike.

Teises toa osas asub lihtsalt sein, mille äärde on kuhjatud kõdunenud pabereid ja pappkarpe. Seinal ripuvad kaks kulunud ilmega kuldsetes raamides pilti- need on tõmmanud süsimustaks. Ilmselt hallituse tulemusena, mis tekkis läbilaskva katuse ja igast praost sisse tungiva tuule tõttu. Mõlemal pool seda seina puutuvates seintes on uksed, mille ees olnud uksed on ammu hingedelt kadunud.

Väljas on külm, tuul on lõikav. Ilmselt on hiline sügisene õhtupoolne aeg. Toas ei ole rohkem valgust kui projektorilt tulev valgus ja meie taskulambid, mida me aeg-ajalt põlema paneme.

Me vaatame parasjagu mingit vana lindilt jooksvat filmi. See on katkendlik ja esialgu tundub, et tegemist on must-valge määrdunud lindiga. Meieni jõuavad pildid kergelt külmetanud põllust, mille keskel on kivikuhja otsa kasvanud väike pajutukk. Filmitud on puude tagant, nagu varjudes ja kohati varjavad vaate oksad, mis üks või teine hetk kaamerale ette vajuvad. Maad katab kerge härmatis. Põld on täis inimesi, kes näevad välja nagu põgenikud- nad on paksult riides, hallides toonides, ei kusagil värvilaiku. Nad lihtsalt seisavad seal, keset põldu, malakad käes ja ootavad, pilk taevasse pööratud.

„Ma tean seda kohta...“ pomisen endamisi ja pööran pilgu neiule, kes minu kõrval pehkinud pappkastist järgmist metallnõusse peidetud filmi välja tõmbab. Ta ei pane mu märkust tähelegi ja ma pööran pilgu tagasi filmilinale.

Inimesed vaatavad ikka veel taevasse ja ootavad. Kõik on seal, alates lastest ja lõpetades raukadega.

Mul hakkab kõhe, kuid ma vaatan seda edasi.

Filmi ülemine serv tõmbub punaseks, nagu oleks see kastetud vere sisse ja vaatevälja ilmuvad leevikeste suurused tulipunased linnud, kes maanduvad inimeste peale ja jalgade juurde. Inimeste nägusid katab õud, nagu oleksid nad just äsja kohtunud oma suurimat vaenlast. Näen, kuidas nad karjuvad- tapke nad! Aga ei kuule. See on tummfilm.

Järsku ilmuvad filmi ülevalt paremast nurgast välja rongad- oma kakskümmend viis süsimusta ronka. Sama äkki on nad inimeste keskel ja hakkavad neid oma küüniste ja nokkadega tirima ja sakutama. Inimesed röögivad, kuid ei saa nende eest põgeneda, sest on jalgupidi maa küljes kinni. Langeb esimene inimene ja muutub justkui kuhjaks mulla keskel. See kuhi kattub kiirelt värskelt lumega, mida on hakanud vahepeal sadama. Teised jätkavad ka ronkade peksmist, kuid nad ei saa neile pihtagi, vaid löövad kui pimedad mööda.

Märkan, et keskseks grupiks saavad filmil viis suurt ronka, kes nokivad ühte noort inimest kuni viimane langeb. Ma näen verd, kuid see ei ole filmil punane. Ainult punased linnud , kes rahulikult paigal istuvad ja justkui rahuloluga ringi vaatavad, mida rongad korda saadavad, on punased. Need viis ronka jäävad mu hinge.

Tunnen ootamatut tuuletõmmet ja vaatan selja taha- mõlemast uksest voolab sisse hallikaid ja lillakaid poolkujusid, mis paistavad läbi ja meenutavad rohkem uduseid marmelaadivorme. Mõned neist on nii suured, et peavad uksel sügavalt kummardama, et sisse mahtuda. Nad halavad endamisi ja anuvad aina valjeneva häälega, et me ära läheks, et me põgeneks.

Algul usun, et olen ainuke, kes neid näeb ja avan suu, et hulluksminemise karje välja lasta, kuid korraga hakkab piiga minust vasemal neile taskulambiga valgust silma välgutama, ise pomisedes millestki, et kummitused ei pidavad armastama valgust. Kuid need kujud ei kao, vaid muutuvad oma häälelt ainult haledamaks.

„Ära mine sinna...“ anub üks tugevamaid hääli. „Palun...“

„Kuhu?“ küsib üks mu kolleegidest selja tagant.

„Põllule...“ vastab kummitus.

Olen samal ajal juba uuesti filmilinti süvenenud ja märkan äkki tuttavaid puid ja nende otsas hiiglaslikku rongapesa. „Aa! Ma tean, kus see on!“ hüüatan äkki kaaslastele ja mu silmad löövad aitamisrõõmust särama. Hakkan vastust ootamata oma asju kokku panema ja me juht soovitab mul ees minna. Ma tean seda kohta, sest olen seal varem olnud.

Järgmisel hetkel seisame kõrgel kuristikuna näiva nõlva kohal kitsal teel ja ma ootan seal oma kaaslasi järgi. On hiline pärastlõuna ja me oleme kõndinud juba tüki maad. Ma näen eemal kummituslikku vanadest mahajäetud majadest koosnevat küla. Majad on vanad, nii 1930ndatest ja ehitatud eranditult puidust, paigutudes orus lahjalt kõrgematele ja madalamatele kohtadele. Aknad on kõik sisse löödud ja haigutavad mustalt. Majade ümber on kasvanud noor mets.

Taban ennast mõttelt, et olen jõudnud koju ja tunnen sellest üürikest rõõmu, mis asendub hetk hiljem täieliku õudusega, sest paik on tume ja päike sinna ei paista, jättes sellest veel jubedama mulje kui varem, filmi vaadates ja erineval kohast, kus me hetkel seisime. Me seisime kui vana karjääri küljel, sest kohati oli pinnas nii järsult ülejäänust välja kistud, et see pidi olema vägivald, mis seda tegi.

„Seal,“ osutan kõrgemal seisvale tumepruunile kahekordsele majale,“ asus minu kodu. Seal,“ näitan allpool seisvaid kuure ja teisi maju, „elasid meie naabrid. Ja seal,“ osutan majadest eemale, täiesti oru põhja, „oli põld. Pesa asub seal, põllu teises servas.“ Hetkel oli ka see juba puudega kaetud.

„Lähme!“ teatab noormees mu selja taga ja tormab minust mööda, kannatamatult toikaga kive eest rapsides.

„Siin valitsevad rongad...“ taipan äkki ja mu süda tardub, kuuldes selja tagant toksimist. „Nii algas see ka siis...“ Pööran ennast hirmunult ümber ja näen oma õuduseks, kuidas üks ronk minust vaid paar meetrit eemal seisva pooliku kase otsas seisab ja vastu tüve prõmmid, nagu andes teistele märku millestki. Minu tähelepanu peale pöörab ta end nii, et ta mind paremini näeks, kuid trummeldamist ta ei jäta.

„Kõss!“ hirmutan linnu käeliigutusega minema ja vaatan, kuidas ta minema liugleb, pesa suunas.

Tean nüüd, et neid on viis ronka. Nad elavad - elasid juba siis- ühes suures ühiselt tehtud pesas teiselpool küla. Nad maksid külale kätte, et nende pesa lõhuti. Küla langes needuse alla ja inimesed kadusid vähem kui nädalaga kogu külast. Viimane teade sellest külast pärinebki nüüd ainult neilt lintidelt, mida hoiti kõrvalkülas, ilma, et neid kordagi vaadatud oleks. Küla aga kadus unustusse, sest sinna ei juletud minna. Meie olime esimesed, kes sinna läksid.

„Midagi on valesti,“ kordan endale mõttes kui temperatuur järsult langeb ja järsult pimedamaks läheb. Nagu kallaks keegi kõrgelt musta tinti ülevalt alla. Käsin rühmal koonduda ja võtan nad enda järel vööga sleppi.

Hakkab sadama lund, see on paks ja moodustab kiirelt pea nabani ulatuva lumevaiba.

Meil on veel pikk tee minna kui avastan, et mu viiest kaaslasest on järgi kolm. On pilkane pimedus ja oleme sattunud keset metsa. Vähemalt nii tundub, sest teed ümbritsevad kõrged põlenud ilmelised puud, kusagilt immitseb kopitusehaisu. Tuult on ainult vajaduse järgi ja lumi tuleb hiilivalt.

Minu arvutuste kohaselt oleksime pidanud juba ammu olema tagasi külas ja vaimusilmas kerkib mulle silme ette suure saeveskiga kogukond, mis on ainult poole kilomeetri kaugusel. Nii vähemalt tundub, sest hetk hiljem oleme tagasi kõledas metsas, kus on niiske, külm ja kuum üheaegselt.

Ootamatult näen meist vaevu saja meetri kaugusel valgust. Nende aknad on klaasitud, kuid tuled ei põle. Veidi eemal on teine maja ja siis kolmas- mitte kusagil ei põle tulesid. Ometi näen kardinate taga liikumas kujusid, kuid see ainult tundub nii.

Surun viimast jõudu kokku võttes ja teistele kohalejõudmist kinnitades läbi paksu lumekorba ja ühtäkki on lumi kadunud- seisan asfalteeritud külateel, kus majad on üksteisest vaid kolme meetri kaugusel ning mu väsinud ja paksult telgiriidest jopes keha valgustab ülevalt tänavavalgustus, kollane valgustus.

Tõmban teised samuti lumest välja ja seisame seal hetke, hirmul ja rabatud, sest siin lund enam ei saja, kõik kohad küll sätendavad jäiselt, aga lund ei saja. Selle asemel on meie selja taga kõrge müüd, millest me just ennast läbi surusime.

Pööran teistest eemale, et kõrvaltänavasse vaadata, kuid ei saa sellega kaua tegeleda, sest nii, kui ma neid enam ei näe, kuulen sammude padinat- nii vaikset, et isegi hiired ei oska sedasi teha. Keeran end järsult ümber ja näen veel vaid, kuidas varjud pagevad, hirmutatuna millestki, mida ma ei suuda defineerida.

Jooksen tänavanurgale, kuid seal pole enam kedagi. Tuli kustub ja soe valgus kaob, jättes mu nuttatihkuvalt keset tänavat. Kuid pisarad ei voola.

„Miks te minuga nii tegite?“ küsin haledalt, „Aste kõrge, aste kõrge.“

On kevad ja ma seisan ikka sellel tänavanurgal ja soiun ikka veel seda viimast kuuldud lauset.

On liiga vara, et rohi tärkaks, kuid on valgem. Ma näen nüüd selgelt puid ja maju, kuid need on ikka veel hüljatud. Puud ongi põlenud, meenutades pigem hambatikke, mis on püsti löödud.

Mu riided on räbaldunud, mu käed on mustad ja juuksed sorakil. Linnud on kadunud ja mu kõrvus kohab, nagu oleksin vee all.

Hakkan sammhaaval liikuma, tehes endale läbi kuivanud võsa teed oru põhja, kus ma teadsin oma sünnikodu asuvat. Ma liigun kärarikkalt ja kindlalt, lõhkudes kõik, mis mulle ette jääb.

Jõuan lahtise sarani, mille alla sai kunagi metallikolu lükatud, see on nüüd roostes ja punetab vastu tõusvat päikest. Ronin neist üle, ise endale lauset lauldes. Seda on nii raske meeles hoida, kuid ma püüan kõigest väest, et see ära ei kaoks, sest see on viimane, mida ma mäletan- seda ja valu, mis rinnakorvist ära ei lähe.

Mu pettumusest on saanud viha ja ma tunnen, et mul on jõudu, et viha toidab mind. Ma tean, et pean jõudma koduni- selle majani, mis asub künka otsas, selle sama tumepruuni majani, mida ma esimest korda nägin, kui siia sattusin.

Ronin kolist üle ja komberdan läbi ülekasvanud ohakatest täidetud muru maja poole kuni jõuan redelini, mis on üleni hallitusest valge ja rohekaspruun, pea kokkukukkumise äärel.

Kõrvus kohiseb ja ma hakkan seda laulu aina valjemalt laulma, et ma seda kuuleksin. Viis on muutunud, kuid halav toon ei ole kadunud kuhugi.

Iga tõustud astmega suureneb mu tung jõuda aknani, kuhu redel viib. Tunnen, kuidas silmad põlema lähevad, nii ärevil olen teadmisest, et kohe jõuan koju.

„Miks te minuga nii tegite- aste kõrge, aste kõrge! Miks te minuga nii tegite? Aste kõrge, aste kõrge!“

Asetan oma käe purunenud aknalauale ja vaatan pimedusse. Seal liigub keegi ja ma näen taustal tuhmunud või kinnikaetud peeglist oma kujutist, eriti selgelt oma lõõmavaid silmi.

See ei ole enam mina! See kuju on peeglis ühtlane ja oksadega kaetud, olemuselt ähmane ja suurte küüntega.

Kuid see ei aita enam midagi. Mu meeltesse jõuab kopituse hõng ja teadmine, et ma olen tulnud kätte maksma, kätte maksma neile, kes mu teeristile maha jätsid. Neile, kes mu ronkadele jätsid.

Toas liigutab keegi. Ta väriseb.

Ma ei näe teda selgelt, ainult musta sumisevat kuju. Kuulen plahvatust ja haavlid, mis must läbi tuhisevad, löövad mind hetkeks aknalauast eemale, kuid saan kohe uuesti puidust kinni ja klaas tungib mu käest läbi. See ei ole valus. Isegi ebameeldiv mitte. Hiivan ennast uuesti aknalauale ja surun ennast tema pingutustest hoolimata aknast sisse.

Mu häälekõla, millega ma laulan, läheb rõõmsamaks.

Olen surnud. Olen neetud. Olen kodukäija.

Tavaline ime

2009-08-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

Seisan raamatukogu ulmekirjanduse leti juures. On umbne ja kohutavalt palav. Higi tikub otsaette. Raamatukogu esiuks on lukus ja sisse sai kõrval jooksvate treppide kaudu. Aga need on kitsad, parajalt keerulised ja äkilised.

Miks nad aknaid lahti ei tee? Päike kütab. Tunnen vajadust puhkuseks, veresooned otsa ees ähvardavad lõhkeda, pea valutab pingutusest, mida sellises paksus õhus viibimine nõuab.

Raamatukoguhoidja on süvenenud oma tegemistesse, taustaks kõlab vaikne päikeseline muusika. Lehtede keeramine on raske. Kõik on päik…

Tõstan järsku silmad raamatutelt ja vaatan üles, riiulite vahelt välja ega saa hingata. Liblikas. Rinna kõrguselt lendab vasakult välja admiral, teeb paar pingutatud tiivaripsutust ja kaob parempoolse pruuni riiuli varju.

Oli see ilmsi?

Hingan läppunud õhku, kuid sellest on vähe. Viskan sinise raamatu tagasi riiulile ja jooksen liblikale järele. Pööran ümber nurga ja seal ta lähebki, märkamatult, täielikus vaikuses, taustaks päikeseline muusika. Ta peab akna peal vaguralt kinni, tipsib oma peenikestel jalgadel õrnkitsast aknapraost välja.

Heidan kiire pilgu ümberringi.

Mitte keegi pole silmi oma töölt tõstnud. Muusika mängib vaikselt ja keegi pole seda imet märganud. Vaatan tagasi akna poole, pragu, kuhu liblikas kadus ja naeratan. Päike soojendab ikka kollaseid lilli riiulite vahel ja korraga tajun ninaga, et sealt tuleb lillelõhna.

Milline päev!

Editing

2009-07-21T21:14:00.000-07:00

I'm editing a book right now, so it's unlikely that I'll be adding anything new in this blog until november at least. Maybe. Anything can happen really, just I'm not up to it right now.

Feel free to read the stories that are already there as I'm sure you've probably skipped some here and there.

Thank you for reading!

Delivery

2009-06-14T03:34:00.000-07:00

She stared at the man before her as if she'd seen one really bad rotting egg. He knew from the first time he laid his eyes on her she had no interest of knowing him better. Especially after a bad remark on her job, this made her now as bitter as ale gone off. He hadn't really meant it, at least not about her, but as he hadn't had a chance to fix it, she didn't know it.

Even worse was his surprise to hear her voice in the other end of the line, when announcing his arrival with the goods in less than fifteen minutes. She hadn't been expecting them anymore as he could read out from her stuttering, but she regained her posture fast, telling she'll open the gates. That's what you got when replacing your truck driver, who calls on Friday the 13^th that he is sick. The whole day had gone down the hill from there. And now he had this pretty site to welcome him. How he had even memorized her voice was beyond his comprehension – it was just as pleasant as any other.

She looked strange with her working clothes. Obviously, with what they did, he could hardly imagine her wearing something more revealing or something that would have suited her more, but this was truly ugly shade of grey apron and jacket. Her hair were all messed up, too – probably put up in hurry and waiting few minutes in rain had turned her usually soft curly hair into fuzzy hay like mess. What a peculiar site she was. He blinked to get that vision out of his head. She was actually graceful like that.

He coughed. The older man that shared several her traits seemed nicely oblivious about them knowing each other and the way she clenched her lips into a very sharp edged line, she had no intentions of doing the honors and introducing them to each other.

She was wearing a long gypsy skirt. He hadn't realized it before she turned to catch the truck's back door that went flying towards her. She caught it with ease and softly let it fall against the machine's side.

"50 bags of xxx!" he announced fast, dragging his sorry ass in the back of the truck. He winched - the two standard bases weighed at least half a ton each and the man waiting for him to start didn't look at all up to the pushing task.

He heard her approach and stop right behind him, sizing the bases. Then she gave a deep grunted sigh and clapped her cloves clean, before heading behind the first one and waited.

As the older man seemed to have no indications to help, he gave her a thorough judging look, which made her clearly ill at ease. She didn't enjoy wearing those clothes any more than being seen in them he realized his mistake and scolded himself immediately. But he couldn't help but wonder, what that seemingly untrained woman was thinking, offering herself to help.

Well, for one, he couldn't do this on his own and that was clear – be as trained as you were, you didn't pull half a ton into motion without the other pushing it. For two he saw no one else around up to the task. So he didn't say anything more he thought he might regret and accepted her wordless help.

He tried not to goggle at her, but couldn't help his fascination over the matter as he had never in his years seen a woman do it. Nor so young. He knew she couldn’t be more than twenty five, but the women he met hardly raised finger to carry anything heavy, they knew better than put their health in such risk. Ogling her so openly also meant, he didn't fail to see how she stretched her right shoulder before pushing, which in his experience meant she must have prepared for a torment she wasn't able to avoid.

"Push!" he demanded a second later, pulling as hard as he could and almost stop, shocked, realizing the whole thing went on move right on the first turn. But at that moment he had no time to let his jaw drop.

Good half an hour later, the whole thing was over with two heavy loads resting on the ground and them panting next to them.

He offered "the boss", as he nicknamed the older man, the delivery papers for signing and now openly stared at the woman, who tried to make herself busy reading the sign on the package. It was obvious her day hadn't been any honey pot either and seeing him was just yet another proof to it.

He made some small talk with the man, watching how she fast found an excuse and diplomatically disappeared towards the house, fast removing the apron and jacket, revealing a simple peasant blouse, which gave her curves far better appeal. Her shoulder seemed to bother her though, making loosing the jacket rather complicated task. He felt sorry for her.

She was no small lady, who looked like a child that needed taking care of. She was more like a Stone Age woman – broad shoulders, strong back. That skirt didn't fit her though, making her hips wider than they really were, but being at home, he figured she cave little thought about what would be suitable to be seen in and what not.

He decided to make business with the man. Just to have the fun of "tormenting" the girl few more times.

He stood at their front door two weeks later. It had taken him that long to find a suitable excuse to intervene their home again and he wished it to be so firm excuse she wouldn’t, though justifiably start wondering if he wasn’t there for something else.

His little remark he so thoughtlessly had said was putting him through misery he never thought possible and he wished to apologize for it, but while she was working, he couldn’t find not even a moment when she’d be alone to do it. So he was still on knives with her.

He knocked.

A dog started barking inside and after a sharp command to shush, the door opened. Damned it be, he frowned, listening her voice, he hadn’t expected her to be home at this hour. He had thought it would be easier if he just came, talked business with the man and then let her find out later they were now engaged in business, thus force her talk to him.

But she was home and the door opened, with her radiating smile biting him hello. The shine disappeared, but the smile staid.

“Yes?” she asked after a moment of silence they spent staring at each other. She smelled like muffins.

“I came to speak with your father about business.” He started gruffly, trying with all means to keep the meeting warm and not to hide behind his usual sharp barking replies.

She took him in for another long second, before removing herself from his path and calling him in. “Come in then,” she said softly, “I hope you don’t mind waiting in the kitchen – we don’t have office here.” She showed him fast, where he could leave his shoes and coat, before moving on.

“Would you like some coffee?” She wasn’t really expecting an answer, marching straight to the machine and clicking it in before offering him seat. “I’ll call him in a minute.”

She disappeared and he was left there alone, taking in the pretty wooden kitchen and the aromatic smells the place was filled with. She had been cleaning, he could smell the lime of the cleaning pasta and now coffee and muffins were added to the punch.

She came back faster than he had expected, immediately filling two brown mugs with coffee, offering one to him and leaving the other rest before her after she had filled it with two spoons of sugar.

It gave him time to observe her. She had fixed her hair in a low bun, letting it rest on her neck, which was adorn with seemingly the only jewlery he had seen her wear – a wooden moon. Her shoulders were hardly covered with the linen shirt she had on today and the tender fabric only hazed away the shape of her perk breasts and full waist. The shirt was pulled together with strings, giving it corset look. She was again wearing that skirt and he had to keep hard from giving in the urge removing it from her wardrobe for good. It suited well with the shirt, but he wished to see her legs instead of staring at the opaque texture.

She didn’t sit tithe not even for one moment, instead turning her full attention on the oven, taking out the punch of muffins he smelled earlier. She snatched them one by one bare handedly on a plate and placed them on the table, encouraging him to take one.

His father arrived just as he was opening his mouth to thank her and she turned away, before she could see it.

This was new to him, to talk business with a man, who used his kitchen as his office, but through the years, he had to admit, he loved the appeal of old time business.

He hoped she would stay, but she was out of the kitchen right after saying she had already added sugar to his coffee.

Not one smile. He was thoroughly disgruntled by that. The whole time she was in the kitchen she hadn’t looked to his direction not once and smiled at him. Well, he hadn’t either, but that didn’t diminish her mistake.

He immediately disregarded that thought – her mistake. It hadn’t been her mistake! She had been busy and he had intruded her work. She had been calm and he hadn’t felt like being in the wrong place no even for a moment, even with the little ax of their disagreement still hovering between them. It was rude of him to demand her to give him some fake smiles he decided, especially when he so often scolded his secretary for this, saying she’d look so much more natural if she stopped that. And now he was here, mad she hadn’t given him the freak smile.

“She’s a remarkable woman.” He said, still staring at the door hole.

Her father gave him one questionable look, then grinned. “Yes, she is.”

He coughed, realizing what he had just admitted and turned his attention back on the boss.

“About the business...” he started fast, trying to brush off that tender feeling that had just filled him up to his hair routs. The man was beaming from the praise and the rest of the conversation went right in the same rout, warming the whole deal to be pleasant business for both of them.

So the father wasn’t gonna stay on his way now when he had decided to call the woman on a date. Getting the date out of her was a totally different matter.

They finished the business soon and he was led to the door, where the man wished him good day and turned back inside. He put on his cloves and started towards the car, when he saw a glimpse of her entering one of the staff buildings with huge pile of wood.

Insane girl! Was his first thought, remembering how just days ago he had seen her winch because of the pain in the same shoulder. It was obvious she wasn’t taught how to play damsel in distress, breed to survive, but this was too much! He hated people, who thought so little of their health they didn’t rest, when being hurt. He had seen several of his good friends become literally crippled through such thoughtlessness.

Without giving much thought he ran after her, bellowing from the door that she shouldn’t carry such weights.

That took her by surprise and not a good way as he soon learned, when dodging from a clay pot that hit the floor only inches from his right foot.

“OUT!” she yelled with all her might and sent another flowerpot through the air.

“Are you insane?!” He jumped from it and was covered with dust dry earth.

“This area is not for guests!” she gave her reasoning, but that didn’t seem to move him.

“And thus you through them with flower pots?”

She immediately pulled her attitude back, but the pot she was holding staid between her fingers.

“All I wanted to say was that you shouldn’t be carrying such weight with your bad shoulder – it won't get better if you do!”

She gave him a long deeply disturbed stare, silently saying he had no business with her shoulder. She was right, he was fast to admit, but the words were out now and he prepared himself to take whatever she had been longing to say, be it about him mistreating her at work or her totally hating him. Whatever she wished to say, he told himself, he’s the man, he could take it as it was sure for the better if she could let her anger out, find the target to her outrage.

He was wrong, he couldn’t take it.

She slammed the pot back on the table. “That’s a way of saying I’m not suitable for this job either?” she asked mockingly.

It happened more than three weeks ago! He sensed his eyes narrowing – the woman was manifestly a grudge holding type and at that moment he had no idea, why was he trying to apologize to her so hard.

“I had a bad day!” he defended himself,

“What has that to do with anything?” she pulled in a ragged breath. “Oh, sorry! You’re a man! Having a bad day is the best excuse to you! I had a bad day – if I’d get a coin for every time I had a bad day...”

Heat of anger clouded his mind there and he regretted deeply what he let out of his mouth next.

“W-what?” she paled and fell back against the table, before the words caught up with him in his head.

He had just repeated his insult. “Read the contract carefully, missy!” He continued, heart bleeding more with every added word. “Insult me one more time and I erase it! And I’m sure your Daddy would love to hear, what caused him this sweet deal!”

“You can’t do that!”

“I just did.” He murmured, seemingly pleased with it. She shrank right before his eyes and he knew he had hit a tender nerve. She clearly cared for her family and their business, enough to obey even to such monstrosity. He wasn’t pleased with himself at all. What had made him add this tiny line to the end of the contract anyway?

He left fast, thinking only what a beast he’d become in her eyes. He had come with hope to get things straight; instead he’d done the exact opposite.

The next day brought him the result of his angry statement – her resignation. He stared at the paper for a good while, before managing to read out even the title.

She had quietly knocked on his door mere minutes ago and with a silent smile placed the paper on his desk while he was occupied with the phone. He nodded at her for recognition and turned back to his call, only mildly taking in what the paper was.

“I’ll call you back,” he said gruffly to the speaker and ran after her, paper tangling from his fingers. He didn’t catch her though, she had already left for the night, so he ran after her on the street, but she wasn’t there anymore.

He cursed his tongue. The woman was no daft simpleton and had just proven it – if you can't avoid something, dismiss yourself.

2b against 6a part III

2009-05-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

oOoo

He waited her in the middle of the park, sitting near the statue of local hero, trying to concentrate on the morning paper he had bought from the kiosk. She was late today and it made him unease as he didn't like the curious looks the way passers gave him.

Finally, almost half an hour later she passed him too and he jumped up from his place, cutting off her way.

“So you don’t want to sleep with me?” he asked, heart beating hard. He had waited the whole morning to have a new start with her and he almost fainted realizing what he had just blurted out. Was it really the best pick up line he could come up with?

“What?!? No!” she gasped. “You’re not suppose to ask that!” She blushed up to her ears and took a step to the right, but he blocked her again.

“I’m not?”

“No!” She blushed harder realizing how complicated such simple question could get while a wide disarming smile lightened up his face.

“Kiss me.” He took a step closer, ready to capture her so she wouldn’t have chance to run. He wanted to firm a theory he had formed, which said she might have extinguished the flames, but she forgot to coals leaving them only hungry for more wood.

“You’re not suppose to ask that either.” She felt furious, but didn’t run. He smelled woody, a note of cedar captivating her senses.

“Kiss me.” He asked again, closer now until he was towering over her only inches away.

“Kiss me.” He whispered and without waiting any longer, lowered his head, captured her chin and touched her lips. She immediately froze, probably expecting the last time, but he made sure this one wasn’t a repeat that mistake. He took his time to explore his new conquest and soon recognized her breathing change. Her hands climbed upwards, lightly taking hold on his coat, pulling him closer. He had to let go of her a minute later, needing some air.

She gasped. The man definitely knew no boundaries, but she didn’t like it at all. Such men were recluse and in her mind there was nothing more dangerous than men, who thought they had some sort of claim over women. As if they belong to them.

“Well,” she said after a pause, “kissing your way in isn’t helping. Remember what I said two days ago?”

“What?” he had lost track on his own words already, staring her shadowed eyes that turned lethal the moment he let the little word out of his lips.

“Exactly that…” she whispered.

“What?”

“Pull yourself together, man!” she sounded furious and before he got his act together, she pulled herself free and walked away, murmuring angry statements on how stupid men can be. Suddenly she turned around and while still walking shouted that next time he’d try something new.

Alan laughed on that remark, while following her steps with ease eyes, observing her every sensual line of bright yellow skirt and light brown jacket. He let her be furious for now, he was sure he’ll convince her later in her misleading ways and indeed take her advise – try something different or perhaps go a totally new direction and try nothing at all.

“Why were you kissing that lass, Alan?” his friend was just as abrupt as he was and knew no introduction to conversations nor polite way to approach someone.

“You’re looking at my new girlfriend, Arthur, be nice.”

The man gave her an assessing look. “Nice backside.” He declared agreeingly, and then burst. “What about Nicole?”

“What about her?” he was still following her, agreeing with his friend – she did indeed have a fine line – and hearing that name brought out no emotions. Not even a single memory.

“She’s your girlfriend, is she not?”

Alan’s eyes narrowed. “No, where did you hear that?”

“She tells everybody you two are close now.”

He groaned half loud – that girl was a menace, a bad joke behalf any man. Yes, she was one of the finest looking in the punch, but her education was lacking a big part on discretion and social behavior. She was a possessive whore no one dared to get involved with.

“Please repeat that?” he asked fast.

“She...”

“Where did she get that idea?” he was honestly baffled. “It’s a fantasy – a lunatic fantasy and nothing more.” He dismissed Arthur’s news.

“Well, you did flirt with her in the club a week ago...”

He had totally forgotten that. He hadn’t known, what he was doing, feeling just a need to have someone near him that cold night with notion that anyone would do. That “anyone” near him happened to be Nicole and now he was made to pay for his half an hour fun that ended with him wishing to get rid of her fast.

“We have never been close, Arthur – she’s making it up. Hell, we didn’t even get to bed together.”

“I hope you tell her that too then, otherwise your new girlfriend will have one pretty brutal wake up call...”

oOoo

She turned to let her in as usually when she came late in the evening.

“By the way,” she added casually to her request, “I’m his sister.” Dana knew she had heard her, but besides a casual smile nothing happened. She must of thought how he could have such sister, but even if she did, she wasn’t gonna ask it out loud.

“And it’s the other way around.” She murmured as the door pinged. “It’s not that you have hots on him – HE has hots on you!” She wished her good night and made to the door.

“Now that the scene is set,” she thought, choosing the floor number, “the game can begin.”

Two hours later she was nicely tucked in a blanket after a casual dinner and typing in the homework Alan had helped her with. She didn’t tell him at first, thinking she better saving it for laiter, after helping her. She knew this might get ugly- Alan didn’t have difference between family, friends or enemies, when it came to intervening his private matters. Obviously, as no one beside her and few of his friends had heard about his new eye candy, she was well aware Leeann was his private matter. At least until he figured out, what role his other so-called girlfriends were, especially Maddy, who seemed to be a closed deal. She, too, found herself thinking, why he hadn’t already bought the engagement ring for her after near a year courting.

Actually, she knew the answer – she looked fine, but there was something still missing, something that made his eyes almost empty every time he brought her around. On the other hand, the reaction she saw after his little show with Sixten made her realize, she didn’t want that cold fish woman as her relative either and thus decided she had nothing to lose if she helped her big brother see the light faster. Even if he alienated her the next eight months or so.

“I told her I’m not your girlfriend.” Dana concentrated on the screen ignoring the breaking glass that hit the sink in the kitchen.

“You what?!?”

“I told Leeann I’m your sister.” She specified.

“Why?”

“Why –to clear out some possibilities of chores! She probably already knew as she seemed to enjoy my little confession a lot. Are you calling her out soon?” she continued, changing the subject that made her huge bold brother squirm even more.

“I’m not gonna discuss it with you!” he growled, turning back to the kitchen.

“Oh yes you are! You were the one, who forayed in my apartment last week to say you jumped on her! Now, are you calling her out?”

He ignored her until she pinched her two slim fingers in his ribs. “No! I’m not calling her out!”

It was her turn to be surprised. “Why?”

He was surprised, too. Remembering posting to Arthur, how he would pursue her as his, yet now he was so timid, he had hard time saying it out loud. He was getting as confused as she was. Of chores he wished to call her out, only right now he had no idea, how. Or how he’d make her see he wasn’t just searching out new bodies to explore.

“It’s complicated now – the last time I saw her, she wasn’t quite keen to talk to me.”

“La! Di! Daa!” she snorted.

“So all your little exclamation did today, was to bring me more embracement making me look stupid.”

“Not stupid – only desperate.”

He scowled at her.

“Alright, it didn’t do any good,” she raised her hands to show she was sorry, “but if you wish, I could talk to her and explain you’re no brute, perhaps she’ll let you kiss her again?”

A visible shiver in his spine gave her the answer. “I don’t want you talking with her at all – at least as long as I’m trying to figure out how to mend it.”

“Mend what?” she sounded innocent, but Alan knew better.

“My stupid mouth!” he got angry. “Sewing it together would make a nice start! At least that’s how most of you see it!”

“Don’t get your hopes up! I’m sure she’d preferred it kissing than sewed up! Kissing her would be a start?”

He winched. “I already tried that.”

“So?”

“That’s where it all got started from, remember?”

“Mm, no I don’t.”

“I… Argh, it’s no use of repeating it.”

“Oh, that.” She pulled it together. “I didn’t mean that – I mean, you could try again, you know? Like, this time with gentleness… You do know how to be gentle, right?”

“I’m not talking to you on matters like that!” He snapped.

“I’m old enough!”

“Dad is old enough, too – I’d still wouldn’t be talking with him!”

“That’s absurd!”

He finished up with the dishes and tried to say nothing, but with her aside her, it was obviously a lost cause.

“Look, brother, I understand you are eating up your nerves on this, but I just wish it would work out between you two. Instead of jumping on her, try… being with her?”

oOoo

She gave him a speculative look.

"What are you doing up this early?" she looked surprised.

He shrugged, not really knowing, why he had woken, but he knew he had to get out of the house and shake this feeling out of him, run few hours, that will clear his head.

"I'm going for an early run." He gave a fast explanation, putting gloves on, but she slowly shook her head.

"No, you are not."

"Yes I am."

She shook her head again and gave a quick glance over the clock on the screen. "You usually run at midday and on Sundays you skip it until seven in the evening. It's almost five in the morning, that's way off your schedule."

He recovered his stoicism fast, losing the image only for a moment – she was good. All this time she didn't seem to watch, who was coming, who was going…

"Would you like some coffee?" she said slowly. He was about to say no, but she added fast, "I have some teas too."

He shrugged. There was no reason to say no, especially when he had wanted to talk to her for some time now anyway. She snuggled the chair behind her closer to the table and gave him the sign to sit. Then she smiled her sleepy eyes hardly open and went for the hot water. He watched her fill the small cattle and choose teas for the cups, before returning with them to the table.

"I hope you like fruit," she said calmly, "I preferred it before drinking any coffee and even now it tastes much better."

She observed him sit there now, casually, waiting. Her grayish eyes were toned in the morning light that penetrated the light wall behind her and she turned her eyes toward it, revealing the crystal clearness of her almost moss green eyes. She stared at the morning waking for a while, giving it encouraging smile.

The cattle made the loud click and she woke from her dreamy site. She rose again, went for it and the room filled with fruity smell.

"So," she asked, after the warmth stirred her up again and her gaze locked on his eyes, "what woke you up this early?" Her pink lips disappeared behind the white cup taking with them his object of attention.

"I don't know." He lied knowing very well it were her lips were in his dream.

She nodded.

"Perhaps you're getting old?" she snorted suddenly and blushed from the stupid question herself.

"Old?"

"Yes, you know – old people fall sleep early and wake early, just as children do."

He let out rough laugh. "No, I don't think that's that."

She curved her lips while tasting them, sucking the last of the taste. "Still, something woke you up early. Is someone having a party?"

"No."

Her lips blushed now slightly, giving them much more attempting look than he thought possible.

"Drink it," she suddenly suggested, snuggling towards the tea. "It'll go cold and then it tastes awful."

Her voice was warm as she said it, equal to the sunrays tracing her soft peachy skin. He followed her suggestion, but he was too late, it tasted awful, yet he took a good sip before putting the drink down again and playing on with the cloves he had taken off again.

She brought her knees up to her chest, so the whole green gypsy skirt created a half circle around her feet and she was all curled up on her large seating.

"How many people have you seen here today?" he started, drawing her attention away from the window, realizing he didn't have much time before someone came and interrupted their little comfortable tea table. He could watch her there forever, taking in the golden girl, who had looked so casual by just inviting him for a drink, so softly he couldn't refuse.

God, his heart rate was as fast as when he was running his best, yet he hardly moved.

"Not much, today, you're the first I think, in the last few hours at least."

"Why aren't you sleeping then?"

She peered at him. Was he joking or digging the hole to make her fall in? She'd seen them over the time – several, who nicely chatted and then went over to the landlady, saying they were sleeping during their work hours.

Like for answer she yawned. "I don't sleep while at work."

"But you look tired."

Yes, she definitely did. So tired in fact she was about to close her eyes and never ever open them again.

"I guess I do," she agreed, "I've been awake since six in the morning yesterday."

That's almost a full 24 hours he counted.

"Why?"

"It was a long day." She said quietly, fighting the urge to set her head on the support. "That's why I don't get it, why do you need to wake up so early yourself? It's Sunday – you are allowed to sleep in."

He smiled at her – she was the reason he was up so early, just the site with her sitting bathed in the golden sun was a site he'd long to see.

"You know," her voice shook him up, "you look like an angel when you smile." She stretched languidly, rising her head up again. "You should smile more." She encouraged him.

Just to hear her saying that. Yes, he was sure, he woke up just to hear her suggest him exactly that. He warmed up at her, faster than he did for Maddy and he wasn't sure he ever had really felt the heat towards her. But this simple creature before him managed to bring it all out like a spilling a drop of vein in the goblet, spilling the settled liquid over the edge.

Heat in his eyes reached her and she didn't seem to mind it all, just taking it in as it was.

"I can spend all my mornings here," she whispered last, sizing him for a good moment. "Watching how you all run off to work while I get to go home and sleep without having to hurry anywhere."

"And you like it? Isn't it unorthodox?"

"In what way?"

"There's no order in your day."

"But there is – I go to sleep, I wake up, I eat, I shower, I go to driving lessons, I eat, I sleep, I do housework… Also, I get to watch birds in the park, how they bath in the river in the morning. Or the sunrise – how it makes the river glow; blush for being touched by the Sun God. Or when it's thirty degrees of cold outside and all you can think of are snowflakes floating on your coat. If you'd want to know how it feels, I think the closest to it would be when you watch some of the coca cola commercials, the ones with the ideal Christmas feeling, and imagine yourself in it. Only this feeling lasts from morning to morning."

"You're strange." He let out heavy breath.

She smiled for the compliment, before reaching out for the teacup. "It's proven really, the lack of sleep works as a relaxing drug, releasing the happy hormones in your blood, making you feel like a million bucks."

She raised her shoulder high up, breathing in as deeply as she managed and then let them sink back down, bringing out her long neck with small blue forget-me-not tattooed right above her clavicle. He dreamed of taking the flower and…

Her eyes ran over the keyboards on her table and camera images. The change in her smooth movement was almost instant when she gave one of the cameras a hollow look and grunted.

She excused herself fast and ran off, dragging her keys and phones with her. He turned his look towards what had caught her attention. It was some guy relieving himself against the back door.

The next thing he saw was the man in a cramp realizing her standing right behind her. He didn't hear what she said, but seeing from the guy's expression it wasn't anything ladylike. The man disappeared and she came back, sitting down with such bang the empty corridor kept imitating the sound for some time.

She said nothing and placed her keys on front of her one the table.

He was curious, what made the man lose every color in his face when meeting her, but first he let her relax few minutes. It was obvious she was still after blood and though it made her look appealing, he doubt if he'd get from the punishment himself if he'd give in to his curiosity.

He considered himself a patient man, though around her, it seemed she was the calm type while all he did was go through one tantrum after another.

Like the time he came down in the middle of the night, so pissed at his new neighbors, he thought he could have a heart attack. And then he managed to accuse her for not doing her job, though it was obvious she couldn’t be everywhere in the same time. All she did was listen him out, then calling the youth down and had a little chat, while keeping his child-act under control.

Two minutes later his curiosity won.

"What did you say to him?"

She ran over him with smirking look and she cleared her through twice before saying it out loud.

"I said I knew personally one mohel, who would love to try his new plastibell on his penis and make him a new man if I saw him here ever again."

His smile grew wider. "Not quite you'd expect from a trained administrator, wouldn't you say?"

"Many are too drunk to remember what I said to them in two hours, I don’t think it would bring problems. The ones with less alcohol in their stomach I only mention police and ticket for urinating against the wall.”

He had to agree with that. “But you’re awake now.”

She gave him a long smile, but it never reached her eyes. “For now, soon it will ware off and I’m again so sleepy I could add salt in the coffee. You’re still up for the run?”

As if getting a sign, the elevator bells rang twice and the silvery doors open, letting out Sebastian. You could sense the room grew colder by the seconds he invaded the room. Alan clenched his teeth by the mere site of the man – he was totally against his nature, like rubbing bare skin with grater.

“Isn’t it nice, to see you here!” his voice was so malicious she sank lower few inches, before pulling herself straight again and greeting him.

“Good morning.”

Alan didn't give him even that. Taking the hint, Sebastian flew out of the main doors as fast as he could.

"I better go." He said not at all happy how things turned. "Thanks for the tea."

She nodded. "You're welcome."

2B against 6A, part II

2009-04-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

He was a man women would openly ogle at. It was a two sided blade, one being - he loved it. On the other side it often made the women soft minded and that made him bitter and snap at them often to get their attention back on the topics.

He new the woman at the reception was no exception. Only it seemed she was one of the few, who at least forced herself to look straight to his eyes when he needed something from her and thus managed not to melt before his eyes. That was a nice change in his life and though he still barked on her as he was used to, she took it pleasantly annoyed, sometimes forgetting that with her tender age, he was able to read all her emotions out of her eyes.

Still, it had been useful, when he had strong argument with the man against his flat and she happened to be in the middle. He had to admit he was stunned how she calmed him down while basically talking them both through all the year of trouble they had. Because every time he felt like bolting at the younger man, he received quite stern look from her that clearly stated she wasn’t pleased with him interfering. To his own astonishment he had obliged and in less than an hour they had found a suitable agreement for both sides. At that time, he was aware of her discomfort, but as she took an effort to hide it, not to give the younger man a feeling like they were both blotting against him, he hid it too.

In spite of his dislike with others, he actually enjoyed her attention, knowing she would never jeopardize her job with getting involved with him and at that time it made it a safe game.

Few weeks before everything changed. He noticed that though still hungry, her looks became far more discreet when she saw him. If before it was lust he saw in them and he loved it, making him stronger, knowing she was a woman like any other, then now there was none, like over night he had become just another guy. It seemed she wasn’t interested in his anymore at all, like something had vanished and even as he tried to hide it, it made him more brittle when talking to her and later more upset on himself for being such a jerk. It took him a bit of surprise that SHE somehow had got over the point so many had ended up in and so fast without even becoming friends with her.

One day he entered the main hall and gave a quick glance at the girl in the receptionist, who gave him an exquisite warm welcoming smile. Like earlier he could feel the warmth from it, but he didn’t like it anymore.

"Is there something wrong with me?" he suddenly bolted back, asking out loud what bothered him for weeks now

She had turned back to her work, typing in some sort of document, but shot her eyes up in surprising oblivious stare.

"W-what?" she managed after a long pause.

"The way you look at me – it's like you know something that I don't."

Her eyes grew wider, but they also shined back as oxidant mirrors – she had no idea what he was talking about. "There's no passion in your look anymore." He explained fast and watched as her eyes turned glazing blue, then the blush took over her face.

She burst laughing, cupped her hands, hiding her face, calmed a little and then looked back at him hunted with another laughing episode.

"Darn, I knew I was too obvious." She muttered after she managed to control herself again, then she was serious again, even shocked and surprised. "You noticed that?"

That backfired. All the years of control flew out of the window as he suddenly felt feverishly hot. He hadn't thought this through and now it backfired.

"Damn." He whispered and backed out. Of all the women...

Her laughing echoed in his head the whole day and after awhile he started to believe what his mind was telling him – the woman was too young and daft for him to have any interest in.

Only, how old was she anyway? He had seen him reading textbooks of some kind, but what he could see from his frowning glances, they covered various topics starting from Mammoths ending with War and Science. She wasn’t studying then.

But, God, he felt embarrassed. By the looks of it, she had already lost her interest in him while he was just starting to take interest and now he had made a fool of himself by openly confronting her. He decided to get deeper in this and get his bugging question answered – what had changed her view on him so much she lost interest in him?

The next day started early for him. The spring sun had already gone up in the sky, when he left the elevator, marched straight to the reception and asked her to come outside with him.

She gave him a blank look, not clearly understanding, what more he would want. His anger got the best of him as he grabbed her hand and started dragging her outside in the over street park. She was too surprised to protest.

“Do you or do you not have hots for me?” he bellowed over the empty park as he turned at her.

She stared at him for a good minute, not understanding at all what his problem was. Wasn’t it natural for a woman to feel heat when she saw a hunk walk by as men did with chicks? She frowned and shrugged.

“So?” she started bold. “I have hots for...” She meant to say for every other cute guy, but was rudely interrupted.

“So?” he couldn’t believe his ears. The woman openly flirted with him – as far as he was concerned, every other female did – and now she was denying it all? He had seen her in his dreams last night, something he hardly considered lightly. “So??” he took a step back and did a round , trying to cool his already burning mind to be able to say something harsh, but when he got back to her perplexed face he knew only one solution to his problem.

“So!” he shouted, prisoned her face and neck so she couldn’t bolt and kissed her, forcing her to open up on him. He bruised her lips until she opened them, but instead of a bite, he felt her replying to his call and he deepened the wild punishing kiss that at some split of a moment turned into passion. And that not from so much from her side, but his.

Shocked, he let her back on her feet and pulled back.

This hadn’t been some tender kiss – her cheeks still burned from the power he used to hold her still. Her eyes filled up with water as she also stood there, shock taking over the last of her nerves. Her body started shivering – it was still early spring after all and she was wearing nothing else but her light yellow blouse.

His grudge didn’t go away with the shock though and instead of apology he folded his arms, accepting that this was, how he was. He waited her to start howling and tell him that too. You’re not what I expected you to be – he had heard it often and he prepared to hear it again.

She kept biting her lower lip and although her eyes had filled with ashamed tears, not one of them went rolling down her cheek. She was lost on what just happened. Her body on the other hand was not and she started to shake more violently with Goosebumps appearing on her skin.

He waited for a tantrum or a slap, but instead she suddenly raised her head, meeting his black gaze, scowled at him, trying to form some sort of words, but failed and finally took a deep breath, turned around and walked back towards the house.

He let his stand go. She was hurt and until now he hadn’t realized how deeply. He would have preferred a tantrum – at least with that he could play out his older age and win the argument.

He let out an angry roar, watching her walk. It didn’t feel good to see her go – hell, he didn’t want her to walk away at all!

He ran after her, prisoning her wrist and turned her around.

“I’m not finished yet!” he yelled, but realized right there it wasn’t necessary. She had whiped off her tears and glowered at him now. He let her hand go feeling not so secure about his dimidiating size anymore.

“So what?” she barreled back.

“You still owe me an explanation.” He continued.

“Huh? On that? No I do not! My feelings were private!”

He took a raged breath. “It involved me!”

“If I have “hots”” she ridiculed his expression, “for Billy Dean, should I go across the ocean and let him know about it too? I don’t think so! Neither do I have to explain my feelings on you!”

He pulled a step back. She was still shivering, but she was right. For now – he didn’t even why he was so obsessed with her feelings, but he was determined to get to it later. Right now he just wished an answer to what bothered him the most on the matter.

“What happened?” he demanded fast, his voice cool and polite again.

“...” she was way past their conversation already. “Oh.” She let out a sigh realizing it was either have this embracing conversation here or somewhere else and this place seemed as good as any.

“I didn’t lose “hots” as you called it, on you.” She admitted fast, avoiding looking at him, obviously disturbed by the topic. “I just...” she took a moment to think. “I saw you with Dana one day and you seemed happy with her and... aww... I don’t know!” she brushed her hair off her face. “I’ve spoken with her few times and she’s a wonderful woman and suddenly seeing you with her turned you also in a good man. I guess I thought that as you are a good man after all, all good men are usually taken and...” she shrugged. “I can’t compete her perfection, so I just... let it go...” her voice faided.

“You had some sort of Prince Charming image on me?” he felt disgusted, but her grant eased it fast.

“I watch you take out your trash and do your laundry?” she gave him a questionable glance. That was all he needed to hear as his first genuine smile of the whole week ran over his lips. “No, I...” she concluded, “Before- you were just another hunk in the crowd that probably would never see me drawl, making you an innocent fantasy. Dana sort of brought you out of the crowed, closer to home and made you entirely human, a person.” She lightened up. “Oh, like the time she brought you eggs in the middle of the night saying “See? The man always forgets food.” She laughed on that memory and he watched as the tender look he saw to company her cute smiles when he rushed through returned in her eyes.

He was baffled. Yes, he didn’t see lust in her eyes anymore, but he had never really seen love either and what she had was hardly a mild crush on a stranger – she actually loved him!

“Where are you going?” he demanded startled by her movement.

“Back to work,” she replied with less enthusiasm, “I’m still on watch, remember? She will want my explanation.”

oOoo

He didn’t even knock, but ran just straight in and landed on the sofa in his sister’s flat, hiding his face in it’s red cushions not even bothering himself taking off his black velvet jacket.

“Hello...” Dana murmured over her bites from the crispy bread, eyes nailed on her morning paper. “that well, huh?” She didn’t know what bothered him, but it seemed enough to make him come all the way to the neighbor town to have breakfast.

“I jumped on her.” He growled, banging his head on the seat.

She choke on her bite and started coughing.

“What?” the laughter brought her his killer look. “Whait, you...”

“I jumped on her.” He admitted and hid his face back in the cushions.

“You did not!”

“I did – I dragged her outside and kissed her.”

She burst laughing so it filled the entire small flat. “Wait – who?”

“The girl at the reception.” His voice hardly came through the pillows.

It was good he couldn’t see her face. Her eyes widened. “Why?”

“I wished to know, why her glances didn’t include lust anymore.”

She blinked. He may have been his brother, but to rattle over something so...

“So?”

“I dragged her out and kissed her.”

She burst laughing. “I’m gonna piss myself!”

“You will not! It’s not that funny!” he barreled, sending a pillow on its way to her.

“Oh yes it is!”

“I feel like I raped her. God! This is so sick!”

“And how did she react?”

“She fucking admits it and explained in few words how my “dear” sister suddenly made me look so human again she dismissed me from my pedestal – can you believe this?”

He grabbed her from where she was laughing and pulled her next to him. “I will never go out with you again, you frog!”

oOoo

"Kiss my ass, miss!" the man snorted next to her.

"Oh, why?" Sixten sounded sincere. "With your tongue bending abilities, you can so well do it yourself!"

"Fuck you bitch!"

"What a vocabulary indeed!" she thug the man next to her to let her pass, but forgot to see the danger in the action and ended up between two very drunk friends with the third fellow closing in fast from the dance floor.

"Darn it," she muffled, loosing her nerve. That was why she never came to these places and now she had yet again proved herself, why it was always bad idea to play with her faith.

"Skip it." The man behind her heard a low grunt and turned around, facing man head taller than him.

"Wh..a?"

"Skip it!" the order came again and he didn't look accompanying mood anymore. Alan had watched her long from the corner of the bar where he usually spent his evenings, keeping an eye on the events that led her into trouble, until he finally decided it was getting too uncomfortable to her. Besides, the fellows seemed to be out to have some "fun" and he wasn't ready to add another few thousands to repair the glass panels or the chairs.

"Alan!" she let out a glad sigh.

The men drew back fast and a slight nod to the doormen gave a hint they weren't staying for long.

"What are you doing here, Sixten, it isn't a place to come alone."

Her good mood for her hero vanished as fast as it came. "I was meeting here somebody, but apparently she had other plans." She turned back to bar and leaned after her glass of coke, but he covered it with his hand and without a word gave back to the bartender.

She dryly observed the glass disappearing behind the counter. "I paid for it." She said quietly, but was smart enough to realize she had been saved yet again from another sad faith and instead of letting out her whim to order a new drink, bite the wish down. "I guess I'm leaving now." She pushed through her teeth, still eyeing the man behind the bar, who was now cleaning the same glass and turned to go, but was closed in.

"I don't think you came here by accident." He declared coldly.

She gasped with the sudden attack and pulled back against the counter. "I wasn't. I told you I'm waiting for a friend."

"Do you need escort to find her?"

"No, she's not here." She did obviously not understand his sudden attitude.

"Then how can I believe you are telling the truth?"

"Because…" Her eyes widened and sparkled with fury. "Oh! You - get over it already! I didn't lie to you when I didn't tell you about my feelings! I was never planning to do it, so why you're so obsessed with them now is beyond my understanding!" she pushed herself heavily through him, making him let her go if he didn't wish to end up on the floor with her.

He watched her go, running fast over the floor until she met up with two other girls at her age.

He frowned. Hell, he wasn't gonna let her go again feeling aggravated- this was his third time and as they say, the third's the charm. In his case more of a hell-bound ill-faith that made even him think hard, why he was still pursuing the idea or why he chased her, but he was determined to see this through.

"Boss?" the bartender asked, but instead of answering he waved, gesturing he'll deal whatever he wanted from him later and went after her.

"Sixten!" he called over the crowd, but she didn't hear him or merely was ignoring him, witch bare little difference in his eyes. He hastened his step and reached them near the park, where the sounds coming from the club were muffled.

"…don't say that!" she sharply finished her girlfriend off just as he reached them.

"Hey!" he grabbed her hand, pulling her to a full stop. The other gave him a horrid stare, but he simply dismissed them by telling to disappear, earning her scowling instead.

She watched her two so-called friends hasten away, leaving her to the brute.

"If you're thinking "luring" me with your kiss again, skip it! I'm in no mood for it and I mean it – as tempting as you are, you're pickup moves are still rude!"

That sobered his mind fast and he stood there for a minute feeling creepy discomfort, thinking hard what to say, but before he was given any chance he had to pull her away some teenager's path, earning some pretty dark exploitive on taking up the whole path.

Finding the right words to accommodate her need for an apology was way gone from his mind as he set around to yell something far more colorful after them, but felt her hand pulling him the other direction.

"No!" she blocked his view and pulled him attention back on her. "You make more enemies with your mouth than with your actions, don't you?" she mumbled half-heartedly, like feeling sorry for him.

"Come with me." He whispered, realizing he had to get her away from this darned park and from this path back to the club.

She gave him a week smile and buried her palm in his, giving him a suddenly comprehended she wasn't gonna go away or leave him there dumfounded, but actually took a chance and walked with him.

Finally, when they had walked over a mile on the riverside, he stopped and quietly started laughing. She looked perplexed, but didn't say anything.

"I feel so stupid," he admitted.

"Why?"

"The way I…" he sighed. Stop me from doing the mistake again, he begged in his mind, but she didn't. She waited. That took him speechless.

"Well," she nodded agreeingly at last, "skipping "if" and "maybe" from the process was sort of bold and sudden."

"What you mean?" he asked without really thinking about it, but realized the bad timing just as the sentence had slipped over his lips. She frowned harsh like she wasn't willing to specify any deeper, but then stopped on it anyway.

"For starters- you usually get to know the other before manhandling them for a kiss."

He wished to say "We already know each other." But instead of just thinking it, blurted it out.

She immediately pulled her warm hand free, making his feel cold.

"Ok then. Let's start with my name then." She said firmly and folded her arms on her chest.

"Sixten." He said, glad his little sister had unknowingly done the honors after he shamefully had forgotten after reading her nametag.

"It's Leeann," she replied rigidly. "Sixten is my nickname. Leeann Northcote, nice to meet you, Alan Bancster. And," she took a step closer, "this is what happens if you take anything from me by force" And gave him a sound slap before digging her hands in his coat and hugging him strongly without saying another word.

2B against 6A

2009-04-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

"You are stubborn," she started after Seb's question on what she didn't like about him so much she refused to go out with him, "like a little cock, self confident, too annoying when you get a drink…"

"What is it I don't have?" he looked appalled. "You make it all sound like…"

"Like it is! You act like a man, yet you turn into cocky idiot the moment you get little alco breath."

She counted his presence before her, before adding fast, seeing the man she liked entering: "You don't have it," she pointed towards the back of a man entering the hall from the back door. "HE has it."

He turned to watch at the man that disappeared behind the plastic wall. The man heard her last sentence and stopped with surprise. What was it he had?

As if heard the student asked the lady the same question.

"Aura of being a man."

A pause of silence.

"And that's why you woun't go out with me?" He said voice spiced with irony.

There was no way to make it any clearer. "Yes."

The cocky jerk continued. "But you would go out with him?"

"No." She said confident. The man behind the wall let out a shocked whisper hell.

Who was she to be so sure? He was tall, good looking – in a way – what made her so sure of it?

He sat down on the bench put there for visitors and listened.

"Why, what's wrong with the man with the aura of being man?" he imitated her voice - that pissed Alan behind the wall more than it did her.

"Perfection is an illusion, you jerk!" she started to lose her temper. "He is a stone wall, for crying out loud! He looks good, yet he doesn't even know the word Hello!" the idiot in front of her missed the longing note in her voice, but he didn't. "Puting you two together would make a perfect couple. Now, go back to your room and let me fantasize of hating you while you get your two hour beauty sleep before going to school!"

He grunted and left for the elevator.

The man called so casually the stone wall, watched him leave, feeling way too disturbed to leave. She hadn't meant the word she said. Yet that was exactly how people saw him – restrained, with military order, boring down the bone… He might have been indeed a good looking hunk, yet he knew it well that no woman would even breath towards him if he didn't start the flirt first. Impenetrable would be the word they use.

He absentmindedly took his mobile and diled the front desk number. "Has the postman delivered the newspaper?" he asked. He heard a silent sigh at the other end of the phone, then a moment of silence that made him want to repeat his question when suddenly she stood right before him.

"Here!" She gave him his Daily News. She sounded lovely again, but her smile was cold as ice, like warning it ain't right to eavesdrop.

He didn't thank her, only took the paper and The elevator opened, letting some man out and he casually backed out to it, pushing the waiting button while watching her turn back to her desk. He watched her this time, not just rewarding her with a glance, but observing thoroughly her every curve as she walked and how the skirt played around her hips. She was total opposite to his fashion-shaped girlfriend, who always wore high heals and suits. Her legs were hidden mere few inch heal boots that hardly showed under the lengthy skirt. The blouse was on the other hand quite revealing, showing nicely off the pale apricot like pair of… arms, crossing his view.

Damn, he released the button and locked his eyes on the floor - he had been caught red handed.

oOoo

She was engaged with collecting the boxes helping Diethre to rearrange the shop. She was all fired up with Seb's idiotic show last night and practically tossed the mercantile around.

Diethre listened her babble on and on without really relating herself with it. Sixten always ended up to her shop when another guy pulled some trick on her, all angry and swollen from the injustice she had to endure. Her dark gypsy eyes flashed to her in compassion, mostly only to see another box fly to her way and grab it before it hit the wall behind her.

"… then he had the balls to ask, why I wasn't all happy for gaining the Gay Master's attention! And you know what?"

"What?" Diethre took new set of boxes from her and arranged them next to the others.

"It really pissed me off. The nerve he has!" she sighed hard. "That's when all hell broke loose. I told him to shove it – not quite in so few words – and brought him an example of a real man."

Her friend stopped her work and turned to her. It wasn't every day she sent someone to bark under another tree. She usually put up with it and then went home and just slept it out, like some disease you get for standing out in the rain for too long.

"And?" she demanded when Sixten stopped.

"He happened to hear us." She whispered sadly.

"Who?"

"The one I brought out as the example." Her heat faded away. "Like, what an idiot!" She shoved her arms up and hit something hard behind her.

"Hey!" a roar like voice nailed her to the floor.

"Sorry!" she said, turning around and froze in instant. The man was standing right behind her, holding a pack of macaronis he obviously was thinking of buying. She thought for an instant to suggest Parmesan cheese to go with it, but stopped before opening her lips.

His two dark bushy eyebrows were frowning and he immediately reached out to grab her elbow so she wouldn't be able to elope from her sorrowful faith now.

"Can I speak to you?" his sharp voice could freeze the Sun itself and the smile he shot at Diethre wasn't much warmer. He dragged her in the end of the alley of the shelving before releasing her, where he was sure Diethre couldn't hear them.

"Stop…" he started, but Sixten caught up with her surprise and intervened.

"I'm sorry - you weren't supposed to hear that."

"The whole town probably heard it!" he clenched his teeth.

"Hadn't you intervened, probably not, because no one knew, who I was talking about!"

"And that should ease my rage, puppet?"

"Hardly, but for your information, I never use anything people could use to identify anyone! It's a small town, for crying out loud! No one knew who I was talking about and then you walked in and started a scene!"

He took a step closer to her and leaned in. "Do you always gossip on what goes on in that house?"

"No…"

"Then what? What is it? Why are you blatting it all out as if the little scene you created at the reception was anybody's business?"

His eyes ran over her very revealing cleavage. She noticed it the bare second it lasted and threw her hems back together.

"Look! It wasn't about you! The guy won't leave me alone – I just wanted to teach him a lesson, not trick you to call me out!"

"And that's why you now go over the town, telling everyone I'm some sort of a brick wall?"

She really regretted calling him with that name now. Even so that she hadn't meant it.

"I didn't call it out in the radio, now did I? I only told Diethre – I had to let my steam out somewhere!" she tried to explain why she was here. "I am sorry you happened to be the example, I just wished to give him some high hopes he could never reach!"

"You do choose your locations accordingly, lady!" he blared out, but the little praise nicely undermined his angry tone. "I should report this." He added, still boiling.

"You have that right." She agreed, keeping her eyes on the shelf next to them, avoiding even a glance to his way, becoming smaller and smaller. This was giving her fever.

He noticed her sudden change of heart and lost all interest in making her feel any worse. Instead, he'd rather taken her in his arms and given him a good hug to comfort her.

That need shocked even him and he turned, letting out an angry grunt, before heading to the cashier to pay for the macaronis.

Diethre watched him disappear behind the counter, before daring to approach her. "You alright?" she asked.

"No, I'm not alright!"

"Which one of them was he? The example dude? He looks like a monster!"

"Di!" she called out harsh.

"He does! He is huge, like a mountain!" she continued, trying to make her feel better, but it wasn't working. She still looked like on the break of tears. "I bet he…" she whispered a list of various examples in her ear, before she pushed her away.

"Oh, stop it, Di! He ain't any of that!"

"What? Honey, he just powdered your face with your own ass!"

She frowned at her use of words. "He's just mad – I did call him a Stone Wall after all."

"You what!?"

She shrugged. "Yeah… He's rather nice really."

"Brainy check, girl!"

"Oh come on!" she sighed. "If nothing else, he's darn honest." She grew sad. "And he always keeps his promises."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, tomorrow I'll be lucky if I still have a job."

"Oh, baby…" she hugged her hard right there.

He had heard them. He wasn't planning to, but it took time at the cashier and he happened to. He was surprised really to hear affectionate voice while he was planning making her life a living nightmare and murder her career for good.

oOoo

Sixten's face light up and she typed, reading it out loud: "People shaking hand is like watching one try disfigure the other before one can reach for his weapon."

"What was that about?" Alan asked, towering over her desk. He made sure his voice was casual and not one bit commanding, offering her back the washing room keys he had borrowed earlier.

He had thought hard what to do with the little gossiper, but even after hot shower, a meal, good night sleep and work he had buried himself into didn't seem to give him other answer than letting the matter rest. With her keeping the job, because he realized he actually wanted to see her more and observe her move. What was in her move that made him go nuts just by thinking about it?

She jumped on her seat, observed him and his warm face for a moment and smiled, sensing the danger had passed. "Just some nonsense smart thing to say when discussing over the topic of How important it is to use proper etiquette?." She explained fast with her typical singing voice and hid the keys to the key holder.

He didn't like her type, he told himself, they were too… chaotic. Yes, that was the word he was searching for.

"And that's what you give as a comment." He pulled back, appalled.

"She says the etiquette is the foundation of society. Well, when imagining knights in the medieval times, when the shaking hands tradition began, I think breaking the etiquette is, what made people stand against tyranny in the first place. Why? Too simple?"

"No, I wouldn't say that…"

"Too weird? Oh I'd like it to be weird!"

Her enthusiasm on the matter scared him a bit, before realizing she was simply sizing him. He gave her a quick un-waited smile and shrugged. "Too idiotic, better say something like… a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? "

She gave her a strange look, before the spark in her eyes returned.

"Where on earth did you hear that?"

He shrugged. "Tyler Durden – Fight Club."

"Superb!" she grinned and typed it in. She imitated shock for a moment, then asked, nice and cute - "Diethre asks, who you are, because she's convinced it ain't coming from my dirty lips and I ain't seen the movie."

Alan thought for a moment, remembering how he first took her up gossiping his life with that dark haired woman in the shop. Her friend would never let him peace learning he was now in the other side of the table, giving her advice on the matters of etiquette.

"Alan." He reached his hand out. She accepted it and said her name. Sixten, an odd name for a strange girl.

The messenger made a calling sound, but she didn't answer.

"Now that your little problem of etiquette is solved," he smiled, bowed a little and made his way to the door, imagining her turn back to the computer to fill in the little gossiper on the other end on the little drama.

"Look, umm…" she called out shyly. He stopped. "I'm really sorry for what I did." She said quietly, and then waited for his reply as he stood there, his back to her.

He felt his heart melt and couldn't help but smile. He had heard all sort of apologies, yet none of which he felt came from heart. Her apology did. He was about to turn, but instead, the phone rang and she answered it, voice steady and official. He rethought what he was about to say and went, without looking back.

When he came back, she wasn't there, but some other woman, who gave him such a frightened stare he kept away from her. Her shift had ended few hours before, he realized, looking at the clock behind the lady. Probably it was the best anyway, because at the moment he had no idea how to reply to her honest apology.

In the mean time, Sixten had her hands full with Sebastian and his crew of merry men, who had yet again created a little diversion with their fire alarm and accidentally smoked the whole floor. That was so irritating and so typical of him – make others suffer.

When she finally got back to her messenger, Deithre was gone off to see her boyfriend.

That gave her time to think over what just happened. First in hand, she was still working, which meant the so-called Stone Wall did something non of them expected, he broke his word first time she'd been here. She felt bad for calling him Stone Wall and promised herself route that expression out not only from her but also from Sebastian's vocabulary. He was man like any other, and sure he wasn't the first one she encountered, who hardly ever said anything while living here. Well, that wasn't the point why he brought him as the darn example either.

But he had heard her apology, she was sure of it. Different story was had he accepted it or not.

She had been a fool, a stupid little cockroach and there is only one possible thing one does with a cockroach – kill them, squash them with your feet. Naturally, if you didn't happen to be one of the types, who actually liked cockroaches.

Extra ordinary affair

2009-01-24T01:37:00.000-08:00

„Are you gonna tell her she isn’t under surveillance anymore?“ his coworker asked, studying the girl working two desks down.

“She has redeemed her place, but… Why should I?“

“For starters it’s eight in the evening and I know her mother has a birthday.“

He let the papers down. He didn’t know that, she hadn’t asked.

”She hasn’t asked.”

”That’s what I mean – she still thinks she is in black list.”

”Alright, you tell her she can go home.”

”She won't believe me.”

”Why?”

”She made you a surprise party and everybody went with the idea though they knew how you react, but we still cheered her up. Later we all stood down when she almost lost her job. You think she’d trust us after that trick? Others were responsible for this, too, you do know that?”

”Yes.”

”Then...”

”I’m waiting her to come and tell me it herself. For a woman, who has lost all her trust in her coworkers, she is doughty. I want her to admit she can save herself by giving me your names.”

”You won't get them – she is sturdy, but no fox among the chicken.” The older man grinned. “Besides, you already know.” He took two steps towards the door. “I’ll tell her to go home. She is too tight up about this.”

”No.” He stopped him. “I’ll tell her. Go home, Jonathan, Jessie is waiting.”

”Don’t stay long either.”

oOo

”Hey.” He called quietly, standing near her. “You should be home by now.” That was his understanding of introduction. That ought to be enough he thought.

”I still have few things to finish, I’ll be going soon.” She didn’t sound very eager to go, so he took a seat right next to her table and watched her work for a while.

”I don’t pay extras.” He said bluntly, but even that didn’t seem to move her.

”I know, I just have this to finish up.”

He waited for a while, observing her brown hair shimmer in the lamp light and her hands typing fast.

”Why didn’t you tell me others had put you up to this?”

Her chest rose once to take in extra air she desperately needed and her look in her eyes showing boredom she shrugged.

”I don’t know. It didn’t seem right at the time.”
”Too much loyalty is not a virtue. How’s so?”

She had stopped typing. “How’s what?”

”Why didn’t it seem right?”

”I was out to get a smite, it wouldn’t mattered what I said – you weren’t in the mood to listen.”

He nodded. He remembered well that evening, too well even, but she was right – he wouldn’t have listened her thinking it was all in her mind.

”Then why do you work overtime if you know you’re not guilty?”

”Others think I am – I get half finished reports and messier edits. But don’t tell them I know – it’s not like I have much to do anyway.” She laughed openly.

”No personal life?” he admitted with fast grin. It was too familiar – neither did he, too much work back in the days had taken that joy from him.

She shook her head agreeingly.

He stared at her blue eyes for a second, thinking on sudden revelation he wasn’t gonna let her repeat his mistake and he darted up. “Well, then how about we get ourselves personal life and have a dinner together?”

She hadn’t noticed, but he was already carrying his suitcase and raincoat, which he put down on the seat he had just risen. It was slightly sudden, but he already reached after her light raincoat and held it out to help it on her.

”Seriously, if you refuse, I swear I fire you.”

She burst into laughter and let him help her. The birthday was forgotten – it was late for her to pay a fancy visit anyway he said to himself, turning her around to button her coat up.

”Why not?” she smiled.

oOo

It was definitely something to gossip about the next day. Actually, the day after - as hadn't she brought him a cup of strong coffee to aid his headache and he at the evening asked if she'd like to repeat the evening out half aloud, their co-workers wouldn't have dreamt of such couple to meet in a million years.

Neither did they, but he bare no regrets calling her out. He had taken her for a light dinner ending with a sideshow of some underground club. That included a remarkable show of some guy nailing himself on the door head down. Not that he was much of an anti-Christ lover, but that was in general rather interesting nor would he have ever dreamt of going to see it. He had feared it was too spooky for Selene, but she had taken it as natural as a shining sun. Later he walked her home and they laughed the whole way over the odd jump in the club – a little step they both hoped not to repeat in short terms as, as it turned out, it had freaked them both.

So, it had turned out far better than he had hoped for, filling his evening with more activity than he had experienced the whole month. Business dinners with his partners didn't quite follow the word "fun".

He even feared how she would act on the next day, something he hardly ever did. So far the girl would get fired fast if she thought herself so privileged to see more in the affair than a simple one night stand. But when he rose in the elevator, his heart bumping, he suddenly feared the total opposite. That to her that was indeed nothing more than one night stand. He made his heart strong and just before the door bell rang he knew that however she behaved, he would go both ways and make sure she would see more in this than just a fling. She wasn't the type to faint and run; more like one who'd stay and see what happened next and he wanted more of her, he wanted that strength to stand with him, not support any other guy. That meant sending flowers was out – women tended to see flowers not so much as a sign of continuing affair, more like an end sign.

To add up his misery his secretary called in sick – something to do with her child- so he was forced to get himself someone else to fetch the files he needed. He called her number without thinking, moment later regretting the act and when she said soft "yes?" in the other end it was too late to pull back. Now that was a torment in full bloom. The nail guy from yesterday's show was a child's play compared to that. But instead of easer her load he only added to it, realizing way after lunch that her fingers were moving faster than yesterday and the pile on her desk only grew, losing little in size.

That view was the last straw on the camel's back and instead of a polite approach, he jumped up behind his desk, marched right over her table, grabbed half of the pile and landed it on the nearest two tables.

"I know you two played an important role in my so-called birthday party! Now work accordingly!"

All eyes turned on him, then on her, then back to him. No diplomacy, they knew, but this was a surprise. Only no one dared to intervene, because as usual, he was right.

"And I do not want to see you working late again." He declared to her shocked face, earning a cup of hot, dark as night coffee in a dark brown cup she said would cool his edge.

She said softly. "I'll just finish this off then." And she took the next papers from the pile.

"Good. And bring me the report from the second floor." He murmured way softer than suitable, hiding his flushing cheeks and pumping heart behind drinking.

"By the way," he then asked, still in the middle of the focus, "Jackson said NSSI is back in town, wanna come?"

All the focus shifted on her, making the thick air tremble. "Why not?" she smiled softly, still not looking up from her work.

"Good." He zipped his coffee. "God, how much sugar do you put in here?"

"None." She already handed him the sugar cup from the neighbor table.

"That explains it." He took it without any extra moves and went back to his office, sitting down in a loud pump and concentrating on the recent report, giving little attention to it. All his attention was focused on others and peeping to see how others take that little news of him having a new girlfriend. Publicly. All now left to do was wait till others left and drive off with her to the private summer house where the party was held.

But nothing usually goes by the plan and neither did this event. It seemed others had all decided to work late that day and a simple wait-and-go tactics was out of the question. An hour after the clock hit five he ran out of patience, hiding no dark looks on her behalf. At first he had tried to look busy, but his mind kept going back on her pretty features and smart attitude, making him feel like a bear waiting for a treat.

She knew he was waiting, but she was in no mood to make it easier for him. She had no mood of what so ever really – she wasn't feeling anything different at all, no excitement, no panic. She was typing the last page and sighed gladly, finally rising behind the table. She didn't deny she was glad he had asked her out again, wondering if it was really a half-hearted prank to show others they could have fun too or was it slightly more. But it was too early to tell if it was either as yesterday had indeed been nothing more than a good evening between two friends. If he'd kiss her – now then she could say something about what they were.

She took her coat and pulled it on, saving the last draft once more to be sure and felt him handing over her purse. She gave her a cute smile, leaving in front of him. That's when the gossiping started. He hadn't even closed the door yet, when bees started buzzing. They were so stunned they stopped for a moment, eyes huge in surprise and stared at each other for a good minute, corners of their lips rolling upwards. They had a persona life, they realized right there and as insane as it seemed, under everybody's noses and it felt good. They weren't social outcasts as they had thought they were, they were different – they had something now and to him, this something was way more precious than his reputation. She was humored too and though it was a kiss to represent his intentions towards her, the smile he gave was assurance enough to make her realize she liked it too.

They burst laughing and went, leaving the buzzing swamp behind.

The party was not as amusing as their co-workers they knew, but they didn't switch another word on their behalf, concentrating totally on each others company on one truly boring event. The concert itself was wonderful, but the party after, which the invited few got few glimpses, was a tread and sad sight of many drunken rich people, which made those two leave in haste only to stop not more than fifteen miles in South near the border of the town in some small cafeteria to have a cup of coffee. He let her choose their next meeting place, which she willingly called out to be a car wrecking event.

"Why a place like that?" he inquired, but she had no idea.

"Less drunker people," she murmured over the foam of her latte. They burst laughing.

Saint of the mountains

2008-10-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

Primoz had been on the road for days. He went through liveless mountains and had no way of refilling his vivers. One midday, when the cold had past – it was almost autumn now – he found himself near small prutally destroyed village. He followed the small pathway to it and was appoled buy the cruelness used – half of the houses were burned, the rest made inhabitable. Except for few, but it seemed unlikely to hide any survivors.
“What happened?” he asked himself, before hearing clutching sound of an ax hitting wood.
A woman rose from behind the bushes. She was young grown up with charmingly beautiful figure hidden by the dress that now licked her back in the wind. Her bleached hair were entwined into long braid that reached to her middle, why her grey eyes shined in the evening sun.
“What happened, happened ten years ago.” She said, eyeing the intruder carelessly. Though he was a huge man, tall and not the best looking, she didn’t seem intimidated by the site at all and he didn’t know what to think of that. In ten years he’d been travelling, it was common to be chaised away as most took him for criminal of some sort.
“Good day, ma’m.” He gave her a little bow, before she motioned him closer. Women had the habit of running when he closed in, but she didn’t seem to know it. In fact, her eyes seemed warm, welcoming as if seeing someone she’d known her whole life.
“Day is late, my friend.” She put the ax down and started collecting lugs where they had landed. For a moment she stopped, thought and turned to gaze his muscled arms he didn’t bother to cover and reached one of the lugs to him, giving a silent request he’d help her.
He was here for good relations, he thought and accepted it, allowing the woman place quite a pile of them on his right arm, before gathering some herself. His left arm was holding his gear and sword.
He couldn’t help but observe the burned buildings, wondering if it be polite to ask, what happened.
“War went through here.” She said, collecting her armful before he could ask. “They took our food, burnt our houses and then went, leaving us to die.” She didn’t sound emotional, rather cold even. “What was left of them didn’t last for long and most of the villagers left. My family couldn’t – mom couldn’t keep anything down and grew week. She died. Me and my sister, we burried her in the hole in the ground. People say – I rather die. But then, dying is not that simple, even if you search dead yourself. On her grave I made a promise – I’ll do anything not to end up in there. So far I’ve manage to keep it.”
She rose. “Come, let’s find you something to eat then.” Her voice was calm, half sleepy even.
He froze. Did he just hear her right?
She went, but sensed then he wasn’t following and turned. “That is, why you are here, isn’t it? To stack up? I’m afraid I have nothing to sell, but I can give you some fruits and bread to get to the next village.”
It took him a moment to valuate her words, before he felt able to move again and followed her to one of the remaining houses. It was small, but cleaned up and it had glass windows.
“I just finished supper, so I don’t have much left, but the breads are coming out soon.”
So that was the smell he sensed in the woods! He knew there had to be a reason he felt sudden urge to come here.
“You can put the logs there.” She nodded towards the small stove as she entered. The wooden floor seemed firm enough for him to walk on it, though it looked old. The room was warm and dark, but he didn’t mind it – he never had problems seeing in the dark, being most of his life in dark. There wasn’t much furniture, but enough for few people.
“Sit, you are probably tired, it seems you’ve walked for long time.” She didn’t put more attention on him, but turned to attend the fire.
He watched her. He didn’t know what to make of her – it was so calm he thought he was dreaming. Not even his own sister welcomed him so willingly in her home after learning who he was – a human with wild soul, yet this young woman called her in without showing any signs of being afraid or intimidated by his looks or by his weapons, which he wore many and most openly. He was used to being attacked and mistrusted for this, but he was never wrong to expect it either. Or wouldn’t she be afraid of him misusing her? Why was she being so nice?
She filled two cup with basswood blossoms and violets, before adding hot water from huge tank above the stove and gave it to him sitting against him on the other side of the table.
He thanked her. “You live here on your own?” he asked, not asking what he really wanted to know – about why she had so much hot water?
“Yes. My sister married five years ago and has six children of her own now. They come to see me once a week, to make sure I’m alright.” Her calm face filled with joy when she said it and to Primoz this had to be the face of an angel. “When you go to the village, ask for Oana – she’ll help you with food. Her husband has a shop there.”
They sat in silence for a while, stareing at each other. The wind outside had risen and it sounded hars, playing with the roof.
She rose her eyes and listend. “Well, it seems you have to rest here for the night, though.” She sighed and went for the stove.
“It will pass soon.” He marked, but felt little truth in it.
She gave him an amused gaze. “No, not in this part of the mountains – it usually lasts ‘til morning.”
The weather in mountains was capricious and unbredictable. He had seen days when the morning was so cold you bearly survived when the evening brought heat so burning you could drown in your own sweat. Or you started your journey in thick fog and ended with giving praises to wind gods for blowing the insidious fog from your bath seconds before you’d step over the cliff and get yourself killed in fall too deep to remember.
She interupted his thoughts when removing the slab from the stove’s mouth. A warm aroma of fresly baked bread filled the room and his hungry stomach constinged immediately reminded him why he was here.
She took out four good smelling loafs and covered them with white linen cloth. Then she fixed the fire again and brought one of the loafs to the table. She broke off a slice and gave it to him but took none for herself.
He thanked her and sank his teeth in it while watching her return to the stove and preparing a basin. She first put on an old apron and brought a towel near her. Then she turned her sleeves up and mixed hot and cold water ‘til she was sadisfied.
“Bojan will be back soon, he is never late for his meal.” She explained, when noticing his curious look.
“Who is Bojan?”
“My dog.” As for sign, he heard a low bark behind the door and she hurried to open it. “He always gets muddy in days like this – it’s easier to wash him right a way when he arrives or he’ll make a mess all over the house.”
In came a huge sheep-size black wolfhound. He immediately took interest in him –animals often sensed, who he was – and growled, but a sharp order from his mistress and he turned back to her with devious puppy face, tale fiercly wagging behind him. The monster was indeed dirty as he could see from the water turning light milky grey.
He observed her placing the dog inside the basin – suprised by her strength in doing so – and watched how Bojan enjoyed her every steady stroke and hug while she washed the dirt off his fur. The site made him jearn for her touch too, so much even he found himself drawn to her, jearning she washed his fur like that too.
Soon the dog was free and paced off on his little place near the fireplace while she discarded the water outside. He had a bole with food there waiting.
She then fixed new water in the basin and came to offer him a towel. “Here, you can refresh yourself while I see if I can find you a blanket and pillows.” He simultaniously took the offer and headed for the bowl. “The stove is hot now, you see, but it will cool off soon. Then sleeping on the floor will be hard to bare.”
It was indeed hot here, he admitted, but he doubt the heat was caused by the burning logs. Instead he started to wonder if the reason wasn’t more with human form, like him?
But he had no wish to ruin this perfect time by forching her into something she might not wish to do. She had welcomed him in her home and shared the little she had with no requests involved. In his eyes, hurting her would be sacrelige, because at the moment, she was near being a saint.
“Athala.” She said suddenly, placing the bedding before her bed, which was on the other side of the stove, where it was warmest in the room to sleep.
He rose his water dripping face to give her a puzzled look.
“My name, “ she explained, “it’s Athala.” She brushed her hand over the soft pillow to clean away some dust. “I thought as we do need to spend the night here together, I might as well know your name.” She shrugged.
He seldomly used his real name. His father had said the names bared much power in them and trusting someone with it meant you really trusted someone. Because of that he used many fake ones, giving one after another, never revealing his true identity so no one could use it against him.
“Primoz.” He said quietly, before realizing he had said his own name.
“Primoz.” She repeated it for few times, trying to get the pronautcion right. Then she gave him a respectful nodd and turned back at doing his bed.
Less than an hour later they were in their beds.
“Good night, Athala.” He said yawning, dugging in.
“Good night, Primoz.” Her voice dissapeared in the dark, but he heard every sound of it and it felt good. The wind outside grew louder, but he felt only warm in his heart.
First time in his life he slept well, waking rested, against the fact it was cold that woke him. She had been right, the stove had cooled off in the night and it chilled the floor so, making it almost impossible to sleep on.
He stretched himself long, before rising from the bed. He tried not to wake her, she didn’t. Her dog was now laying almost in full length next to her, showing him some teeth. Warming her, he thought.
He started a small fire under the stove and watched her arouse from her bedsheets. She smiled at him calmly and put her long grey dress over her just as grey underdress. She sent the dog out and left with him, only to return with apples, some cheese and dried meat.
They ate in silence and she packed him some of it in a scarf. Before he went, she showed him, which turns to take to get to the village and gave her the meal, saying it will be dark before he gets there.
He accepted the food and thanked her. She gave him a lovely smile and kissed him on his cheek for good luck.
As she had promised, her got to the next village just as the sun was settleing behind the high mountains he had left behind only few hours before. He asked children about the woman called Oana and they showed him the way to a huge house not far from the town centre.
They were closed, but a woman of spitting image opened the door. She was carrying a child and two came right after her. Her belly was bigger too.
“I came here from the mountain village.” He started when realizing he was stareing at her. “I was sent here by your sister, Athala.”
She froze and colours left her cheek.”Athala?”
He didn’t understand and repeated what he had just said.
“Yes, I had an older sister, Athala, but she died two years ago in cold.” She watched the man take a step back, before catching his hand and leading him in. “But anyone she sends is welcome.” She gave her a big smile and took him to the kitchen, where young servant girl made fast leaving, recognizing the assasin.
She pore him some ale and took a seat against him on the chair.
“But I spoke to her just now.” He started, in shock. “She gave me shelter for the storm.”
“She still keeps her promise then,” she smiled warmly, “and it was indeed stormy night yesterday.”
He didn’t understand.
“Some children say they’ve seen a young lady up in the mountains near the old village. That she called them in before the storm racked over. I thought they were merely joking. I’ve never seen anyone with full mind say that before.”
His hand moved up where she had kissed him on his cheek. The woman she saw was dead?
“...keep going as far as you can see and you’ll eventually find the one you are seaking. Good luck.” Were her last words to him.
“Come, let’s find you something to eat. With this cold, you aren’t going anywhere. Tomorrow, my husband will help you restock your bags.” Oana’s cheerful voice flew over the kitchen when she dissapeared in the conservatory.
He didn’t move. The woman he’d seen was dead! Beautiful saint of the mountains he had promised himself to visit again was but a ghost in the wind.

Long distance call I

2008-09-27T13:25:00.000-07:00

"God, if this is heaven - keep me from hell."

oOOo

It's been a month since granny passed away. We hardly ever saw her and thus felt little sorrow over her departure, but we did see mom's loss and it hurt never the less. It's strange to know someone has passed to the other side, made me wonder more of how to spend my tiny time on this rock so I would be joined with her again some day. That would be the case if I'd believe there is something to come after we go.

Still, granny was gone and all we were left were twelve boxes jammed in together in our garage every one of them bearing one of our names. There were Lizzy, Susan, Catalina (me, Kathy for short as no body beside me seemed interested in remembering the name), mom's, dad's, uncles Mathias and Thomas and someone called Scarab. She had packed them personally in advance as mom said – they had found them in her living room. I considered it odd at first, mom said she was strange, but to do this she had to like know she was going. After that notion reached my heart, I was taken enough to take her much more serious.

The rest was her old clothes and things from her massive apartment downtown. She had six hundred books in that apartment, but in her will she said no one was to touch them, that they were to stay there for the new owner, who would take good care of them and appreciate the collection. I would have appreciated it too, but the last will was the law. Strange was the new owner did appreciate it, so much even he called it the discovery of the year.

Lizzy, age 9, and Susan, 14, are my two nice little sisters, who rock in hundreds as long as they stay away from my door when I'm trying to have a decent conversation with my boyfriend. It's their delicate age, I tell myself often, when the shock of finding one of them lurking around on the wrong moment starts to pass again. That IF it starts to pass or when I'm in rage and pressing them out from my old maid's apartment under the thin roof. Mom ought to let me put lock on the door so they wouldn't get here all the time, but who am I to keep them away? Alright, I agree, they are sweets.

The boyfriend, on the other hand, is more like a show off thing as he seems to search me out only when it suits him and his plans. I try to be nice to him and all, but I don't think we're gonna work out, I rather eat meals with crocodiles. After six times we've been out, my strings are on their limits and my brain is plotting five times a minute how to send him off for good and still keep my reputation in the class. It sucks going out with your classmate. His parents are moving though, his father being promoted to Tokyo, which makes it a lot easier. This is much better excuse to dump his ass than exploring what he lacks of with girlfriends. To start with – dignity, to end with – balance. Very immature fellow.

But coming back to granny's passing. So, she left every one of us something she referred to as the helpful baskets. Lizzy and Susan had opened theirs long ago with absolutely no understanding of what they found there. I was sure they'll find the explanations soon enough if they have the heart to keep the things attached till they grow up. One thing was common in the boxes – granny's picture with five words: I love you, my doves. That was comforting to read.

Lizzy's box also included two golden candle holders, a Holy Book, silver plate and in same style old goblet, little silver cross, purple bag to keep the bible in, some jewelry to mach her eyes and a box to keep them in. Knowing how much Lizzy liked spending time in churches I knew instantly what she was to become. I just hope she realized it too.

Susan's box had two maps in it with some African masks and Indian staff. She too had jewelry matching her eyes and some golden items, including a ring with huge ruby on it. Mom immediately confiscated the jewelry from their piggy hands and decided to add them in their saving boxes in the bank which they would get at the age of 18. At my age.

I hadn't opened mine yet. I didn't know what I'd find in there, but I knew whatever it was, it had something to do with my future. For now, I had no wish to know the inevitable. So I left it be, knowing sooner or later Susan or Lizzy would find their way in there no matter how harshly I forbid them and they'll be my little fortune tellers. Until then…

The until then arrived much sooner than I expected. Little thieves came to me with my fortune basket about a week before the due I had determined in my head. I was just reading a chapter in my history book, when they shyly knocked on my door. They never knock, which made me very anxious of what was going on, but I relaxed the moment I sat my eyes on the cardboard box between them – they just couldn't wait any longer.

Neither could I, I had to admit after viewing the box for several minutes in silence. It was pretty interesting. The way my name was scratched on it didn't indicate it, but it was still mentally intriguing to find out, what plans granny sought for me.

"Open it." Susan grew impatient.

"I'm not sure I want to." I admitted, brushing the dust to my yellow rug carpet.

Yellow was my thing. I liked yellow equally with grass green and you could see the results everywhere in my room – yellow curtains, rugged red pillows, green-yellow bedcover, yellow bear, yellow-green superstar poster, bookshelf... My room having windows both to east and west I was blessed with more natural yellow than anyone in the house, too.

"Of chores you do! We did it and we're much younger than you are!" Lizzy burst out.

"Yes, and much bolder too – you grow cautious when getting older." I introduced her to her future and as to show what I meant I threw myself back against my safe flowered bed.

Like that would keep their hands away and before I could protest, the tape was ripped from the box and the cover flew open. A silence followed. I observed their stooped heads for a while, before I lost my nerve. I think it was the way their eyes grew bigger.

"Well?" I demanded.

"There's nothing in here…" Susan was first to open her mouth, astonished.

"What?" I leaped over to them and grabbed the box from them. It was loaded with semiprecious stones in various sizes.

"Got ya!" They burst in laughter. I had to admit, they were good in this. I eyed them with the angriest look I could manage, before turning my attention back to the contents.

As I had said earlier, the box was filled with stones, nice ones, yes, but still – stones. I took them out, one at a time and observed them closer against the light. I could recognize amethyst, malachite, some quarts, few carnelians and amber. The rest were a mystery to me, as was the purpose of having so many different gems.

She had to be darn rich to purcase them all, I told myself in whisper, amazed how many there were – there had to be at least a hundred different stones. Susan and Lizzy were back being serious now and I trusted them to touch the stones, yet not letting them out of my site not once.

Under the stones was a brown envelope I discarded at first to reach more inside. It was closed tight and that probably meant this was to my eyes and my eyes only. Later digging in it I found four things in it – a small metal clasp, a pendant with rather robust drop-shaped bottle consisting of some crystal clear liquid, a closed tiny tube with an unreadable seal and a flower of hope, a dried out Iris that had fallen into petals.

Beneath the envelope and gems was but a different story – there was a book wrapped in a cloth of purple surrounded by yet again crystals.

"Now that's a mystery," I sighed carefully removing the cloth. The book looked old, the cover looked creasy and the corners were torn. The back wasn't spared either - several burning marks banished the last of its good looks it must have bared when brand new. The moment I took it up, it was definitely old.

"Another bible?" Lizzy was disappointed. She had little interest in religious things and never showed an inch of interest in going near anything church-like. I often thought she might have taken it after me as I wasn't really enthusiastic about going there either and not very eager to hide it. Therefore it seemed odd she would give me a bible too.

"I don't think it's a bible." I objected the notion, yet I didn't jump in proving it by opening the book either. Susan's interest immediately rose and she gave me those meager looks that demanded me to read it.

"My throat is sour." Susan sounded sandpapery. "Lizzy, could you fetch us some lemonade?" Her wish was too transparent to bring straight forward actions from her sister. She wanted her out of the room when I opened it, still sure it was another Holy Book I was holding. I wasn't sure about it anymore; my thoughts had started wondering way on a different roots. I didn't want either of them near me when I would lastly open it. Granny had a reason she kept it from us and it being a secret for so long I dared not to defy her by opening it to the whole world. Susan and Lizzy were hardly the whole world, but their ability to keep a secret was yet to develop and I couldn't risk that.

"No, I want to see what else is in the box!" Lizzy started her tantrum and to keep it silent enough to keep parents away I grabbed from the idea and set the book aside, digging in the next level of stones, handing her another set of moonstones.

Susan wasn't that timid and grabbed the book into her little hands. Her grey eyes sparkled deviously. I couldn't let it without notice and I took it from her once again, this time putting it far away from her itching fingers.

She immediately took a fence of that and stormed out of the room closing the door behind her so strong it made the walls shiver.

Nice. But I wasn't to give in to her just yet – she had to understand the boundaries with everyone's gifts and I knew there were things only the receivers were able to understand. My understanding at this point was that this book was only for my eyes now and for theirs if they grew old enough.

Lizzy grew smaller in a second, making her as sweet as she could be in order to earn my pity and let her stay and see what else the mystery box concealed. Later she even managed to hide her frustration over the fact that this was all the box had in it. Except granny's smiling black and white photo with I love you, my dove.

I packed all the gems back in the box and clime up to my bed signaling Lizzy to follow. For her obedience and meekness I decided to reward her by showing her what the book was about. She kept herself reserved, bottling up the urge to reach out and touch it, which I found a little funny, but I knew she was only trying to please me.

Finally, after fearing my heartbeat couldn't get any worse, I made myself bold and opened the cover - only to find an empty sheet on the other side. Alright, I decided, and opened the next tea brown sheet. On that we found a family tree filled with our family's tree.

We gasped almost at the same moment – there were hundreds of names, all written in different times. The tree was so big it continued thick even on the upper side of the page . The names were so small they were hard to read, surrounded with golden leafs.

I could hear granny's saying "…In old days, in our family, women were the barer of the family name… ". Her voice rang so clear in my ears it startled me. I looked at the names closer – the most female names indeed carried the same name.

"Susan has the same thing in her bible!" Lizzy studied the page thoroughly. "Only hers is much smaller."

I raise my eyes surprised by her notion. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, she was very proud of it. She said it proves her that our family was once very religious."

I grinned at that openly, thinking suddenly that what she might have in her bible is only one part of the family, while I seemed to have here the routs of that tree, which would mean our family had been religious, if she wished to call it so, only mere fracture of our past. Why, this made her quite gullible.

The idea seemed outrageous and I cast it aside. It was also hard to prove as there was no way she would show me the Holy Book now, when I had so gallantly prohibited her to see mine. I thought of convincing Lizzy to go and fetch it for me, knowing she would be in no harm if she played out her victim roll so well (Lizzy could speak black into white, Susan couldn't) but she disappeared before I could ask, eyes misty with her secrets.

I stared at the door behind which she had disappeared only to see her enter again, the bible on her hands. She opened it proudly and placed it so the tree continued.

"How did you get her to give it to you?" I felt obliged to ask still listening if Susan was after her, screaming names, but she didn't come.

"Easy." She murmured like a little cat and patted the bedcover to her liking, before giving the full answer. "Mom had called her downstairs to wash the dishes."

"We better return it to her room fast then." I gave in to the crime and we stooped our heads low over the two pictures.

"Look!" Lizzy's eyes stretched wider. "These two match!"

Indeed the boles matched. But in her book, only half of the page was filled.

oOOo

That was only the first page, what followed was more than enough to scary us for quite some time. The book was old, from times when nothing passed through beautifications and therefore stood as it was – ugly and tormented and darn exciting. Not that it made much sense as most of it was written in language long forsaken by the modern world and therefore staid much lost to us from that point on too till it DID reach to 1800s and from there to our time. By the night fall we had decided this had to be our family chronicles – tons of small text inscribed with small poems and ugly pictures showing organs and signs of different kind.

We returned the bible back at its place on Susan's table and hoped dearly she hadn't noticed it missing. There is nothing compared to a teenager in raw rage when she discovered somebody has touched her stuff. I set the book back in the middle of the gems and hasted Lizzy to go to bed too. I was definitely tired and in no mood to continue exploring the book be it then what it was, she must have felt the impact it had on us too.

In the morning I grew cautious watching the box in the open on my bedroom floor and thought it would deserve some kind of hiding place so my mom or any other, who didn't need to know about this big discovery yet, couldn't find it. The only place I could think of was on the top of the ceiling panel, but that meant ripping the book from its gems and they seemed to go together one-on-one. I ignored that feeling that morning and results weren't far to catch up.

The school day was dreadful. Only one good thing happened and I flew through that as if it was mere sinking ship on the ocean. Which it literally was – I dumped my darling boyfriend and he managed to get under a strike of six graders, who found him to be the perfect target for their water bomb practice. The worst day in his life I recalled quickly and left before he realized I had put them up to this. Five bucks each should keep their crooked mouths shut.

When I reached to my home door, the backfire had already reached it and I got house arrest for the next two weeks. Plus suggestions to read Susan's Holy Book and recall the meaning of humble woman. This was way too easy for seeing the wet cat thing that called self a man.

Lizzy came to me almost instantly after I got back in my room and had dugged the book out. She had waited patiently till parents were finished and sat on the chair in front of my bed.

"Are you very sad?" she asked quickly.

"About what?"

"That you have to be in your room the next two weeks?"

I smiled her secretively. Hell no! I didn't have TV here and the music system might have been removed, but I had way more interesting thing to linger than that.

"If you keep me company, I won't be sad." I answered quickly and she nodded.

Yup, if she stayed much longer in my company, she'd catch my every flaw, including my taste in men, which I hoped she wouldn't because then she wouldn't have to deceive our parents and me as much as I did now. But it was just as sweet to keep her around knowing she'll be just as hell breaker as I was in my best hours.

I opened the book in no place particularly and looked at the picture of knights. "They sure had it easy…" I sighed and heard Lizzy opening the door.

"Are you going in the garden?" I asked out loud. She nodded. "I found an interesting old tradition here," I continued fast, thinking back on what I read yesterday, "I think it's a blessing the house thing or something. Would you like to try it? It's pretty simple."

She nodded eagerly. If I was gonna be stuck here, I might as well please my mind with something different, I decided. I explained what it was about and asked if she could fetch some flowers for me – nothing particularly special, just some clovers and five violets. She returned in haste, but I pulled down her fast-forward button saying the ceremony had to be performed just before the sunset.

To keep her busy, I let her read the book, though that resulted more in watching the pictures than in actual reading. I braided the flowers into a circle at the same time. It came huge – almost seven feet in diameter. It got finished just before the sunset and I put it on the floor, packing myself next to Lizzy on the bed.

"I can't find it." She said sadly. "Didn't they know page numbers or something?"

"I doubt it." I took the book from her hands. "Let me search it. Meanwhile, how about you get us something to drink?" I suggested.

"Dreams that come, dreams that go,
show me who's the one?
Who can weaken my feet
and bring out the heat
And make my heartbeat grow.
Let ya come and state in words
What nature bids ya hide…"

I read the first part of one of the poems I opened from the back of the book. "And make my heartbeat grow… Hah! Now that's poetic!" I was moved how nicely they could put this love thing. No, this was not the one I was looking for. Perhaps I'll introduce it to Lizzy later.

I ruffled through half of the book before eyeing one that had some mystery appeal and involved no word of love or heart or anything of that matter.

"As Earth is my witness,
So shall I say
Twice will you take it.
If you appear before me
Once will I give it.
If you stand beside me.

Mine is the will to call you
Yours is the will to answer.

As Earth is my witness,
So shall I say."

"Hmm," I mumbled, thinking on Ouija boards sold in the shops "pretty straightforward." I remembered the petals I had found from the envelope and thought they would look nice between these pages and off to find them I went.

It wasn't enough time to find the flower where I had put it the night earlier, but it was enough ten seconds to realize there was something wrong with the air behind me. Perhaps it was the rough noise of someone's growing anger or a long bow stretching string, I don't know, but my back was covered with cold sweat in a moment the knowledge reached my mind.

I turned very slowly to observe whatever had just materialized in the circle behind me. It was a he. An elf no less – long ears reaching high above his dark rain drained hair gathered in loosely so they wouldn't interfere his view from two very peering brown eyes. He was wearing an armor one would find from movie theaters on screen, not dripping rainwater on my floor now. He was tall too, his height was nicely presented through two massive hands that hold the long bow in fullest curve possible. With two very ugly pointed arrows turned to my both eyes.

"I suggest myself to have a darn good explanation to this," I shuddered and moved my ass those two more inches back I could steal from the chair. His eyes flickered, mouth still clenched together. My eyes fell on his nostrils moving in the beat of his breathing. "I say, you keep breathing like that and you'll soon have a heart attack!" I continued and wanted to chuckle over my own cleverness, but his determined attitude to finish me off for ruining his evening made me stay serious.

Something in his face told me this wasn't the first time for him. But it was to me and so I had no idea, what I should do next. Bow to him? Make him bow to me? Ask questions no man knows the answer to?

"Why does it always have to be ME you call out? Why can't you stick with your damned ghosts?! Twice this decade - first the old witch and now you!" his voice boomed over my tiny room. "Who are you!?"

Breath! I demanded from myself, there is no help of you if you starve yourself from oxygen now. He'll get you first if you try, I decided a second later and forced myself to smile. It was quite week performance, but it was a smile never the less and I could feel proud for that little nanosecond it lasted.

"Kathy." I said firmly.

"Kathy who!?" His power of firmness outraged my own and I was quick to answer.

"Catalina Delmer!"

"Why have you summand me? To gain a personal laugh? If so I swear I kill you right here and now!" His bow rose slightly to quicken my answer and show he meant his every word.

"Do I look like laughing?!" What a monstrous idea! "Look!" His longbow rose half an inch more, which made me cast out my hands in hope for protection. "I did not mean to call you out! I swear it on my grandmother's grave! I only read a book, nothing more!"

"Then why am I standing in the middle of the flower circle?" he demanded, still not lowering the weapon.

Why the hell should I know? "Step out of it if you don't like it!" I boomed, slightly irritated by his manners now and earned two sharp arrows buried half in my wooden table. I quite preferred him just where he stood, though it held little security in my mind now.

"I can not step out of this spell ring you created and you know it! But my arrows can!" he cocked two new arrows on his bow and for some reason I knew these two weren't gonna miss. "Now, why have you summand me?!"

"Stop yelling and listen for one minute!" My beating heart was starting to affect my ability to speak. "I have not summand you personally – who the hell are you anyway? – I just read our family's chronicles and there were some poems and I read one out loud!"

His eyes grew wider in disbelief. "You are mocking me!" he lowered the bow and loosened the hold, but not fully freeing it from his grip. "Are you telling me, you read the darn spell and did not even know it was a spell?"

"Well, I suspected as much, but…" I lost my line before his voice shook the table against what I had reinforced myself.

"What??"

"I just got the book yesterday! What do you expect? I swear I thought nothing more of it than some sport when reading about the Flower Circle – I thought it was something to celebrate the spring!"

"Send me back, NOW!"

I got fed up, he either didn't comprehend the awful situation he was in or I was literally talking to some unwilling ghost, whose brain refused to take the information given to him. I jumped up and faced him – he proved to be much taller than I expected. "Half of it is unreadable and the other half filled with crow steps – I haven't had time to know more that it belongs to my family before you turned up!"

"I don't care!" the longbow rose again. "Send me back! NOW!"

"To where?" Fair question as I knew nothing of where to send such long eared men back to.

"You ignorant fool! You have already cost me my Ursah – it would have been one splendid gift to my father for my return! Do not play with me now! Reverse the spell and send me back before the sun is set and the gate closed!"

"How do I do that?"

"How hard is it to you to understand? Say you are free to leave!"

Free to go? That's it? This was way too easy, not even in the movies you could get rid of illusions that way.

"No!"

"Come again?" hi growled.

"I won't let you leave unless you tell me your name!"

"You are in no position to ask my name!" he bolted from his stand and hadn't the flowery line stood between them them, it would've meant one very sad faithful move to me.

"And you are enough of a position to point that thing at me?"

His eye muscle twitched. I sighed fast suddenly realizing his game – he had hoped I'd give in before realizing he had nothing to gain from killing me therefore making it pointless. That did not keep him from trying though. But he lowered his bow.

His voice was now only a low static, before he said: "Finn Scarab Bhain." He waited a second for my reaction, before continuing in much restraint sound: "If you really haven't captured me with a purpose, let me go back to my duties."

"Of chores – you are free to leave." I said appalled how polite he suddenly turned. The next moment he disappeared, still scowling at me.

"I got our lemonades!" Lizzy stormed in. She stopped in the middle of the room, looking around. "What happened?"

Long distance call II

2008-09-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

oOOo

After that weird contact I spent almost every free time reading the book. But in silence so I wouldn't have another of those surprise call outs. Lizzy never understood what happened that evening and I didn't think it would help if I tell her, so she never learned about it. I was surprised she didn't even see the two very straight arrows in the desk.

We did the spring celebration. I found it on the second page and read it twice before deciding it was harmless. At least I hoped it was and I still fret about the entire thing happening again, feeling like a swallow the moment it ended and I hooked sis to the lemonade glasses and sent her off to bed.

I didn't sleep much. I kept staring at the circle trying to imagine what he looked like and what he said - twice this decade. Who was the other one who called him out? Was it someone I knew? Was it granny?

Not once during that heated thinking did I say myself there is no such thing as magic. Or the book I held now above my bed under the roof was some witch's daily cook book. Some witch's? This belonged to my family, hardly strangers. Just someone I hadn't known about, that's all.

Grandparents are so predictable Barry said once at school. I agreed with him back then. To my excuse I could say I had had little experience with having grandparents. I never knew, who my grandfather was as he died years before our birth and grandmother was, well, slightly hard to get along to. That was my mother's opinion, I found her to be surprisingly easy to deal with. That's when I managed to see her; she was indeed a mobile woman even in her high age, traveling all the time. Now, she was one huge mystery to me and I had no idea what else she was to pop out to us.

I turned away from the ceiling. There was plenty of time to deal with her and her secrets tomorrow – this book was in my hands now and I intended to know it from every side possible. She probably had things hidden between the creasy covers too.

oOOo

The next morning I was waken up by a loud slamming sound too close for my liking. I immediately jumped out of the bed as it were caught in fire, before realizing, where I was. One look out of the window confirmed my suspicion that it was too early for the workers on the street to be doing demolition on the last part of the street laid intact, which unfortunately meant only one thing – the bang came from the other side of my bed.

Several curses followed and the same elf I had banished yesterday rose up giving me yet another site of his not quite likeable features.

"I swear I did not read any book this time!" I started fast, taking several steps away from the imaginative circle he was standing in. If he was mad, which, giving the circumstances was highly possible, he at least couldn't come after me. "And I did not – I repeat, NOT! – call you out this time!"

He stared at my shivering body and discarded what he was obviously wishing to say. I must admit, I have never been much to look at in what I slept in, old grey t-shirt and long pink trousers. I pulled my hands up to cover the parts he wasn't suppose to see through the thin garment and gave him a displeased grunt.

He on the other hand was dressed for training, brown trousers with wide belt to keep the back straight and light boots. According to the sound the bang I heard earlier was sort of a heavy landing wrestlers would do when falling on opponent's chest… Oh my, this had to hurt to land on a wooden floor instead of someone's soft flesh or sand pile.

However he kept looking for something with his eyes, letting them travel around the room. He wasn't wearing any weapons, except some dagger strapped on his right arm. I think he was verifying my words by searching for the book, but as it was static in its hiding place above my bed, he couldn't see it.

"I thought you finished the spell after releasing me." He then said quietly, still panting from the training he had been to. It must have been one heavy fight, he didn't pass as some weakling.

"Well, to be honest, I thought I did." I lied. In fact, I thought releasing him was all I had to do to get the illusion disappear. "I have no idea, why you are here again."

"I am here, because you summoned me!"

Oh, don't start with that crap again, I moaned. For that I should have put my lips together and gesture the sounds, which as far as I knew I had not done.

"I did not! Stop saying that!"

Silence scooped in some moments we spent staring at each other, before I couldn't keep the eye contact any longer and had to look somewhere else. He wasn't the type to keep repeating he was right, which was quite pleasant discovery in my behalf, Tim was all that and more and I enjoyed it for a second. My eyes traveled back to his uncovered knees. I came back to the notion the blow those two endured had to be immensely painful.

"If it means something, I'm sorry for the…" how should I call it? Earthquake? "um, landing. I didn't mean it to be that way if any."

He accepted my apology with a quick nod. Seeing he wasn't about to threaten me this time as he did yesterday, I got little courage to take a step closer to him. He didn't move.

"Say, um… you wouldn't want the arrows back you shoot me with yesterday, would you?" This had to be the oddest thing to start a conversation with I scolded myself. His brown eyes flickered for a moment before turning to look where the arrows had landed. I followed his eyes.

There was no signs left about anything hitting in the wood, I put some flower stickers on the spots so it would look less messy. The problem with the arrows was that in order to remove them, I sort of broke them off and then filed the spots smooth before anyone might got an idea of looking in that direction. This in general idea now meant that I didn't really have anything to give him back.

"The arrowheads have not been removed from the wood?" He asked quickly with little enthusiasm, before shaking his head, giving me one mean glance. "If I'd ask them back now, when you have offered them to me and you would have nothing to give me back, I would have the right to ask the guerdon in your flesh." He paused to watch how the blood left my face, before continuing. "Would you like to repeat your question?"

Turning pale in less than a second was enough of an answer I assumed and I promised to burn them with my trash. That thing settled I gave him a quick question about him wanting to return to whatever had occupied him earlier. Like I had to ask, his scowling turned in bright fierce anger for dealing with someone this annoying and idiotic that I gave him fast approval to leave, before he could say anything extra.

He disappeared and I sank down on my bed before letting my breath slide out of me. He was scary, even if he stayed civilized, I decided. There was one thing I failed to mention him though, probably because in the surprise visit I didn't remember it myself – there was one time before his appearing when I thought about him. In my dream! Did this count for calling? If it did, I was in deep trouble; I couldn’t get him out of my mind anymore. Especially now, when he had appeared again and freshened my memories.

It was not in purpose, I told myself. My brain was just recalling the day events and that happened to pop in my head with along other stuff, like wet kittens and bibles and the book… No, I could definitely not been blamed for calling him out as I had not done it willingly, it was nothing more than my brain pulling tricks on me, one very mean trick.

But if mere seeing him in my mind caused the spell revoke, I had to learn to control it by somehow not thinking on him and where he might have came from. Though it would have been interesting to know more about what he was doing – this seemed military training he was doing. You wouldn't see something like that in today's world…

oOOo

Parents need to be credit for not "noticing" when something is really wrong in their kid's worlds. They can be ignorant to the facts for months or even years if nobody puts their noses in it and that was exactly what my parents did – they ignored everything that came upstairs.

Was it probable they didn't hear the smash? Right! And I'm the canary married to a cat. I could have played along and say it was my boyfriend who happened to smash one of their beloved TVs on the floor because he was so passion strike. It was unlikely they would have believed me, but it would have been better than sitting around the breakfast table, trying not to look in their children's eyes and carry on their daily conversations.

Lizzy's face was the guiltiest one today. I managed to put on the nun's appearance, who will go to school, do her duty and come back home to pray in her little cell. Neverhteless, her condemned look was a puzzle to me. Had they fallen out with Susan after she went to bed? Had Susan threaten her with something?

When walking to school, I had plenty of time to question her and find out that her hangdog face had nothing to do with neither my little problem nor with Susan.

But she had heard the crash from my room and now she was concerned that I was using her to hide my boyfriend's visits and she was not happy with things going that way at all. If she hadn't been so serious, I would have laughed hard. I still wished to, but she was right – it wasn't fair.

I did my best to assure her that wasn't my boyfriend, who was sneaking in, explaining more of the situation that led to my house arrest in the first place. She immediately inquired if we considered ourselves as partners, which I gladly denied and managed to raise her mood notably through that.

I held a low profile in school. After sending sisters to their classes, I turned back to my main problem – keeping the elf out of my thoughts through various distractive elements I had brought with me. That included my player with the loudest band in my collection, which eventually gave me a humdinger of a headache and a collection of sudoku riddles (never my favorite pastime). In classes, where neither of them could help me, I spent the minutes pushing holes in my cardigan – during the first class- or drawing S-shaped snakes in my books.

Living through the day was easier than I thought. Well, that after I left the player alone and the headache eased away and giving my sudokus to classmate. She was overjoyed, I was just happy as the sleeping drug had passed to another unsuspicious victim.

In the evening I decided to skip the not thinking part and figure out the last riddling question he had planted in my head. What did he mean I hadn't finished the spell? Wasn't it enough just saying he was free to go? Or should I have performed something extra? Like saying the spell all backwards to reverse the effect as they did in the movies? Charmed sisters would have a field day if they were real. I had a huge problem in my hands.

I was lying on my bed after finishing the essay on John Tyler and stared at the ceiling. What use was to hide myself from the book if Finn appearing before my eyes was a living proof that there was something I hadn't quite taken in consideration?

I got the book and spread it out right on the encyclopedias and notebooks. I could finish typing it in later, I decided and searched the page out. There had to be something extra, but to my disappointment I couldn't find anything. As if that part was never written.

"Finn, you are gonna be so mad when you hear about this." I sighed disappointedly and buried my head in the pillow.

As if ordered I heard water splashing on my floor again and realized too late that this definitely went under calling him. And it was sunset time, which would then mean the portal was again open and I had…

"WHAT? Again? Come on!" His voice rocketed over the room.

I winched and was forced to look what made him so thorny this time. Beside the fact he was yet again forced to stare at my yellow flowery wallpaper.

My jaw dropped - he was naked as a jaybird! Standing his backside at me, he appeared like in the middle of taking a shower or something.

"Oh no!" I cried sinking lower. "I am not here!"

He darted around. "You called me out again, didn't you?!" He eyed the open book between my fingers and reached for it, but banged against the barrier. "You are doing this consciously! That book! Hand it over - I want to remove that page from there so you'd stop disturbing my damned life!"

I gaped at him, not really knowing what to say. He reached for the book again and I was forced to pull it back suddenly sensing his wet fingers too close.

"I didn't read from here yet, you fool!" I hit the book shut and put it behind me. "Have you no shame?" I turned this turmoil back on him, hoping creating shame on his nakedness will take his mind off the book.

"Excuse me! Didn't think I need pants to wash myself!"

His face had no different color than before and I had to admit, he really was shameless. Well, I wasn't about to faint of embarrassment either and left him rattling over the undutiful faith to dig in my chest of drawers. It might have been nothing to him, but having two little sisters, who could run in at any moment I preferred him covered…

"There is the movie on Channel 8 I wanted to see," Lizzy flew in starting fast, closing the door after her, "Susan's using ours, can I…" she fell back against the door. "Whoa!" her youthful stare flew over his body as if it was a statue placed in an art museum. There was some to look at I'd be honest.

"Oh dash it… " I hid my face in the towel. We were never hid from the ways of the world, but this was little more she was leveled for in my opinion. She was definitely to ask a lot of questions about that naked guy in…

"Oh great!" he threw up his hands. "Now I'm some girlie's wet fancy! Give me that!" he demanded and grabbed the bath towel from my hand to cover self up. I didn't even notice I was that close.

"That is not your boyfriend." Lizzy pointed out keeping her lovely glare steady on his furious face. "He was way shorter the last time I saw him. Though not less wet."

I couldn't help but being proud for her not falter once keeping her gaze on one place. Mine was way too traitorous and swung over more than few times.

"I am not her …!" he chocked.

I thought in my best interests to intervene. "See? Just as he wanted to say – not a boyfriend. He's somewhat a…" God, I prayed, keep me from laughing, I searched some signs in him to find the right words. His scowling wasn't making the task easier. "…um, huffy elf…" wearing my towel, angry as hell and ready to strangle me if I stand anywhere near his reach.

"An elf?" she wasn't ready to go with the flow yet, but noticing his two tall pointy things she shrugged halfway. "I'm dreaming…" she shrugged again. "Yup, that's it, I'm dreaming…" she closed the door after herself.

I took a deep breath, but almost choke on it as she flung the door open and measured Finn one more time from tip of his toes up to the pointy ears. "Not a boyfriend." She turned to me. I nodded. "An elf." I nodded. "Wearing your green towel." I had to check before agreeing, but yes, that was the fact. "Yup, this has to be a bad dream." She closed the door once more and I listened her steps furthering away.

I was biting my lips quite hard now, not really daring to look at him again. I wondered if he noticed the little wet part with my boyfriend and what ideas that might give him, but most of all I was worried that now there was no way to make him understand I wasn't calling him out in purpose and I would have happily agreed to leave him be.

The room grew awfully cold now and dampish. My courage failed me and I kept the eyes lowered.

"Send me back." He said resentfully, hands crossed on his chest. "And never summon me again or risk loosing your tongue."

I sighed. If it was mine to say, which it wasn't. I might even enjoy life without tongue.

"You may go." I whispered.
The moment he was gone, I searched for another towel and dried out the water pool on the floor, before dragging the bed in the middle of the room to hide that damned place that cost me so much trouble. I was sure that if he had no where to return to, I can't summon him unwillingly either.

Then I hit the bed and did some whet eye whining, before hiding the book above the ceiling panel and freeing the space from school work. I had no will left to type it in now, perhaps in the morning, when this feeling of sorrow had passed, tomorrow was Saturday after all, so plenty of time for that nasty task.

oOOo

That night brought me no salvation. I kept pondering over my icy situation and woke up after every hour like a clock work in fear he might be standing there again, yelling at me to send him back.

Then, when that fear finally faded, I couldn't help but think about what went on in his world and who he was. In my opinion he had to be some sort of a knight, but I wasn't sure, who. He didn't seem that terrifying anymore and I even liked his brown- red armor he appeared in on the first night. That covering his warrior's body wasn't such a bad deal I chuckled.

Thinking on him brought me back to the horror he might accomplish if I accidentally summoned him anywhere near the sunrise, so I moved on wondering how to bring this to an end. I had to find somebody, who could explain me, what I had done and what I did wrong. There had to be someone, who wasn't a charlatan or after huge amounts of money to earn on a fool's behalf. Finding anyone close to that description might take years though and that was not the time limit I wanted to push myself in.

Then there was the little sister problem. I wasn't sure, what to tell her in the morning for explanation, but I better find it fast as morning was fast to approach.

"There is no time!" I whispered, pressing my temples to stop aching. Why did this all seem so urgent? I needed time to understand this, but I had none.

Feeling worse than ever I skipped all the next problems I happened to think about and tried to sleep. It was hard, but I did manage to get another two hours without waking up now and then before mom woke me up, displeased that I had moved my two-people bed around without consulting them first as through that I had carved some heavy furrows in my freshly put floor and that seemed the worst thing I could do.

I rather accepted that accusation and slid away from the real reasons why this gigantic thing was now in the middle of the room instead nicely under the eastern window where it had been the past six years. To keep curtain someone out of my room.

The rest of the day was just as equal to Friday the 13th, so equal even that I lost all hope of seeing anything brighter that day than a pitch I was made to clean. Never tell your mother you don't want to help her washing the car if you're under house arrest. They can be quite creative on finding you something to do.

Sunday followed almost the same routine, except I also had the essay to type in. I had little time to think about anything and couldn't wait to get in my bed and sleep for the next week. Dreaming has never done much harm, now has it? In general I mean. Not particularly that incident.

Anyway, I was way deep asleep, before that evening's event started. I didn't know about it before been waken by my sister holding my nostrils closed in the early morning, but still.

My sister has a bad habit, something I really dislike about her. It's slightly hard to explain, but I think this characteristic only belongs to dogs department and therefore it is very annoying to find it with some people, who think it's funny.

I think I was already half awake when she came to me, because I could hear her sneaking on the bed and then whispering something with someone in the footboard. I wanted to deceit myself just a little longer that I don't have to wake up yet and slight peek on the window didn't indicate the time was right either, so I kept my eyes strongly closed. Nonetheless, I couldn't move my feet though I tried and that was little unnerving. I must of forgotten the cover on I decided, waiting now impatiently for her to make her move.

"Wait and see," she giggled happily and it suddenly occurred to me this was not meant for me, but to the th… "Wake up!" she whispered to my ear and closed my nose so I had to gasp for air and open my eyes if I wanted her to stop.

I screamed like hell the next moment when I was all of a sudden faced both with Lizzy and the elf sitting on the footboard, grinning. It took me a while to realize he had to been there since sunset, because it wasn't yet sunrise and that he had his blanket with him, a beautifully margaric piece with white embroidered corners and decorations.

"W-why do you have this with you?" I asked hastily, bringing mine higher to cover myself up.

"Have what with me?" he did indeed sound amused. Perhaps he had forgotten his promise concerning my tongue. I sure hoped so.

"You're blanket. Don't tell me you spent the night here!"

"I did." He nodded.

"W-why? How?" I was thoroughly confused. I had no idea anymore what made him come again and again, because I hadn't thought about him the whole day, including the evening neither had I seen him in my dreams. Yet here he was, smiling like a lunatic and my own blood related sister with him.

"I should be asking that question from you!" his voice grew much lower.

I took that as a sign to get Lizzy out before continuing this conversation any further, but I didn't have to – she had already left. Looking at the clock probably reminded her that it was hardly five in the morning and she went back to finish her sleep. She never missed much of her sleep. But I was clad she woke me up instead of mom or dad.

"I don't know – I went to sleep far before the sunset." I wasn't to let him drag me back in the self blame I had fallen in earlier. Here was something more in play than only my will. "I don't know, how you came here again, but I swear and will keep swearing that I have not called you here nor have I thought on you this whole day!"

"It had to happen somehow, why would I be here then?"

"I don't know – figure it out yourself, you're the elf!"

His rubbed his eyes, but stopped immediately. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"That you are a bloody elf! You are magic all over, what do you think? You know more of magic than anybody else in this world!"

"What are you blabbering about? My people are warriors, not some mumbo jumbo dealers! We use magic very little, only our Healer knows more and she is neither human nor elf! It is you, who deal with magic, not us."

"Right! Here, everybody know magic is a curse made to torture human kind with its nonsense idiotic spells! Is this enough of an answer to your question?" I hit my foot out under the blanket towards his thigh. It hit right thigh hard, but did little damage. "I can't give you promise I can't keep," I hit him once pre every word, "because nothing I do seems to fucking work!"

He finally captured my foot, it was probably causing him a bruise already. "Send me home!" he demanded and I was happy to grant it for him.

I didn't get any sleep after I sent him away. I focused on my anger that I felt was more powerful now than ever more. How ridicules to think humans knew more of magic then elves did! They were made of magic - we were mere flesh and bones held together by fluid called red blood, which at this point was boiling hot in my veins. If there were so many witches among us, why did I feel ahead of failing in searching anybody who could help me with this problem?

Magic my ass! Next time I'll put boiling oil van on the place where he appears not my comphy bed! Yes, that's exactly what I'll do!

oOOo

My plan was cut short before I could pamper myself with doing it. Because I had moved my bed without my parent's consent earlier, I was cracked down at mere sound of removing my chair around and was put under tight loose not to move anything again and to bare the bed in the middle of the room now as my punishment for the foul deed.

Only thinking he might appear there again sleeping the night off made me shiver in disgust. I didn't even like my boyfriend in my bed, why would I like sharing it with always pissed elf? Plus I didn't always have Lizzy to count on to wake us up before parents got the chance to find us in our weird situation.

I didn't keep myself from thinking on him anymore. He managed to fill up all free moments I didn't have to concentrate on the black board or house work. It was so annoying, I hardly knew the guy, not to mention he was angry son of a … well, I already said that.

But I couldn't brush off the frustration his attitude was causing me. I wanted him to understand, to realize there really wasn't anything I could do unless exposing myself to my family and the world of charlatans – I was sure that was not what he wanted. And the book gave me little consolation too – there literally was nothing among the texts I could understand. I was jammed, big time.

My ex boyfriend searched me up today too. What was it? An asshole day? He stood there, in the dining room's door hole and didn't let me pass, saying I owe him an apology. I asked, for what? He said, for dumping him. So I tried to explain it so simply a five-year-old would understand too: it was either he dumping me when his family moved or the other way around. I chose the fast way. I didn't fail to add the other extras that made being with him so thwarting experience either. He of chores had to yell over the hall that in that case he'll be dumping me. Like that mattered much to me anymore – he can go out with the hell dog now as far as I cared. One like Bessie Lou from eleventh grade, she always liked boys who bossed her around. A perfect couple.

That was all I could take for that day though. My breakfast tried to find its way out soon after that and I got school's nurse personal advice to go home and get some rest. I didn't let her tell me twice, but called mom and said I was heading to my bed for that day.

The bed was darn comfortable and knowing there was at least six hours till sunset, I made the best of it and just slept – no dreams, no thinking and no upset stomach.

Good things are not meant to last though. I can't remember, what I did or what happened, but I was woken by the worst way I had ever thought possible – a sound of mirror shattering and a heavy Finn standing on my left foot with all his weight put on the foot.

"GET OFF!" I screamed, tugging him with the strongest power I could gather with my right foot. It felt as if he'd broken it. He moved the foot without delay, staring in shock both me and my broken mirror. He was again wearing his red armor and I didn't need to guess the arrows on my back wall came yet again from his long bow.

"God, you broke it!" I yelled, crooking the feet so I could touch every aching muscle. He grunted and kneeled behind me, putting the bow away so he could fight with my not so willing hands and get hold over my foot himself.

"Stop fidgeting!" he said loud and pressed my hands on the bed, before he could make any move near to my foot. "It ain't broke if that's what you're yelling about! If it were, you would not be able to touch it!"

"Keep your filthy hands off!" I wasn't to oblige to him just yet. "I don't care if it's broken or not! It still hurts!" he frowned. That gave me some courage. "And I so want to believe right now that all you are is one fucking bad dream and the pain is part of it and the mirror…" I fell silent. The mirror! It was granny's gift to me when I was fifteen! I flew up faster than he could react.

"You broke granny's mirror! She's gonna be so crystal sharp when she finds out! And father too! God, I'm gonna be grounded forever for this! What am I suppose to tell them, huh? Some sick goats landed in and shoot arrows through their beloved mirror table meant to be a family heritage for the next six generations?"

"Stop it this instant!" he barreled. "I was in the middle of a battle field if you must know! I hardly thought in direction of your mirror when shooting the arrows at the enemy in front of me! So stop yelling at me for some furniture! And why are you yelling anyway?"

I was so appalled by his straightforwardness I immediately forgot, why I was doing it. I brushed through my hair. Next to his reasons, my mirror was indeed nonexistent problem.

"I don't know." I whispered. I let myself down on my back again, keeping my eyes straight on the ceiling. "I had a trying day."

"And that makes you yell at others?" he returned his bow to his lap and started playing with it.

"Usually it doesn't…" I honestly said. "But as I said, it's been a trying day and finding you breaking my bones is not the most pleasant way to finish it."

"I wasn't doing it on purpose!" he immediately took offence. "I'd be still standing on it if I was out to do that!" I wanted to apologize, saying that wasn't what I meant, but he was on a row. "Who told you to move your bed here anyway?"

"I did it myself, nobody told me." It was my time to frown.

He sounded stunned. "Really?"

"Yes! Who other would come out such a stupid idea in the middle of crises? Not my parents, that's for sure! They already took me through about this, so don't you also start!"

Wait… he sounded stunned! I raised my head to look at him. He was indeed surprised. Was he playing with me?

"Alone?"

"Yes, of chores alone – see, there's the ruts I pulled in the floor. Not quite a power woman…" I pointed at the birch, not removing my eyes from his face. He studied the creases before turning back at me like he'd seen something weird.

"So," I decided this bed thing was getting odd and moved on to the next topic, "what pissed you out today?"

"Beside you?" he grinned.

Nice, that was really mature response. "Yes, besides me!" I grunted, not even pretending it was funny.

"Our neighbors decided it was a good day to blitz a village on our borderland just after the dawn. Father has been on the move since and has sent three of us – his sons- to retrieve it. Before that I talked to my father about the situation you so pleasantly put us and he now sees me as a somewhat half-wit for falling in witch's trap. No, nothing much." He shrugged.

"I see." I took a deep breath to take that in. "If it is for any consolation, I didn't set up any traps and I'm really sorry I dragged you in this. I wish I had granny here to ask her help, but I don't."

His eyes checked me for truth. "You have a granny to ask? Why haven't you done it already?"

"After accidentally summoning you, I didn't consider it a good idea to start calling out ghosts!" I felt as if he was attacking me. Hadn't my foot hurt I'd definitely walked away from him at this point. But I couldn't, so I had to face him. "She died a month ago."

He nodded understandingly. "She taught you to summon?" he continued, keeping his voice calm now not to excite my passion to run again.

"She's the one, who failed to teach me how to do it correctly. Had she told me about this years back we wouldn't be in this mess."

"She was a witch?"

"I don't know – she never talked about it with us. I guess she thought we were too young. But I think she was one – she left me the book."

"But she didn't teach you to read it." I didn't understand, so he continued. "You told me these were your family's chronicles."

"Yes, I still think so. In a way that's what they are, aren't they?"

He agreed, observing me in silence.

"What are you thinking?" I asked fast, like afraid he'd keep something to himself again.

"That you need help."

"Yeah, I already called to psychiatrist." I joked, but he didn't get it. I didn't bother to explain and discarded it fast. "Never mind."

"Anyway, we have to do something about this; it's getting dangerous for both of us."

I couldn't agree more.

"First, how about moving your bed so I wouldn't end up standing on you again?" he asked kindly. It almost broke my heart to introduce him the sad truth about the furniture in my bedroom. "You're pulling me, aren't you?" I shook my head. I wish it was that simple.
He suspired. "Strange ways you have, humans."

"Tell me about it."

His gaze traveled on the window. "You know, the sunset is almost over. You better send me back."

"You wish to go back on the battle field?"

"Yes." It was his turn to stare at me as if I was from Moon. "It's an honor to go in battle. Besides, my brothers would be searching me soon, I need to stay healthy."

I think I understood that worry and smirked.

"Alright, you may go."

"By the way, I think I have an idea, who the witch was, who…" his voice echoed few more seconds before disappearing with his image.

"What?" I shrieked up. Darn! He was about to tell me the one more person, who had dealt with this before and he dared to disappear before that? I was indeed in the limits of my luck!

Long distance call III

2008-09-27T13:23:00.000-07:00

oOOo

His next appearance was a torture to wait. But after having him called off from the weirdest situations, I dreaded to call him at all. I rather waited out and had another accidental summoning take place than have him know I did it willingly and face his rage. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

The left calf was sour the whole next week, but as he had said, it wasn't broken. But instead of having a thorough check out, I hid it away and bared the pain.

The mirror created problems too just as I had predicted. My allowance was cut to one third in order to pay for the damage and buy the new oval mirror. This time I got the arrows out in full and storage them next to the book so I could imagine them every split of a second when glancing up there. I wasn't thinking of offering them back to him, but keeping them. For memories I told myself.

Things that came out from the brown envelope found their place on a little pouch on my belt. I kept them in the storage near the mirror table, but after all the fuss around the piece I removed them to keep them safe with me. They still puzzled me.

Lizzy lost the interest in my book soon. Neither seemed she interested in Finn, saying from the last punch, he seemed most normal. She also said it that in her opinion the little she knew the better it was. Smart girl I'd say.

Susan on the other hand kept a keen watch over me. She brought me books and flayers about what a perfect lady was suppose to be like. I think she might have taken mom's words way too serious, not really understanding I never was gonna take her advice. I tried to make her see reason and sat down with her, giving her my mind about her ways and ended up staring in two very blank eyes before finishing the conversation with very angry arguing over why I'm not willing to accept Christ as my personal savior.

I backed out their room faster than it took me to enter – something was seriously wrong with her, more badly than what I was going through. I at least was convinced what I saw weren't some illusion, but flesh and blood creature. She on the other hand… It wasn't really my place to argue – granny had predicted her ways and I had no wish to alter it or go against it. It was just hard keeping myself reserved and open minded with her world when she seemed to have gotten a brainwash in giant measures. It'll pass I assured myself and decided to keep away from her door for as long as I was dealing with elves and their religious beliefs.

Did elves even have religious believes? I didn't think so, perhaps it was mere trust fond deal with the earth?

I had to stay focused here, I immediately told myself – I couldn't lose myself in such trivial things and arguments. My contact with their world must stop at the moment we figured out how to bring this to an end and then move on with our lives.

Why did this make me so sad then?

He came again on Thursday. I had grown so impatient that I took off with friends that night and came back way after midnight, sneaking in like a thief. Mike and Sharon thought I had mocked my life enough to give me a heavy trance night in the local nightclub, but they failed to know about my leg, which made me ask them bring me home much earlier than they had expected. To me it was almost perfect – for weeks I had asked to be allowed to party and now, when I finally did get out, I couldn't wait to get back home again.

I barely got in from my door, when my way was blocked with my sitting pillows and clomped over one of them, getting quite disturbing hush as a response. I froze on the spot to give my eyes time to settle for a second, before I was able to make out Finn's silhouette. My knees befooled me instantly and I landed on the nearest pillow.

"Hi!" I started, still surprised. How long had he had to be here? Gosh, he must be furious at me.

"Keep it down, Lizzy's asleep." He whispered.

"Lizzy?" I didn't understand, but it made me move my legs again and find the switch for my reading lamp nearby. To my astonishment she really was there, sleeping soundly before him as it was the most natural thing to do.

"She ought to be in her bed." I lectured covering her fast with the blanket. "What is she doing here?"

"She discovered me." He answered half loud. "She ran in here to get something, I don't know what. Anyway, she came back and kept me company till you decided to show up!"

"I was merely out with my friends!" I objected. "I have no obligation to sit here and keep watch all the time!" I wasn't about to give vouchers to become God's brides. "I have a life too you know!"

"I had too 'til I had to oscillate between this place and my home!"

"Is that so? What, you're woman isn't savvy enough to believe you won’t do anything dishonorable?"

"What?" He frowned so hard I was sure it will stay like that for the next week. I snacked at my lips again. It was so easy to temper his mood – it would probably take less than a minute to get him all worked out.

I discarded the idea I had fast seeing he had no idea what I was talking about. Good. It also proved to be harmful to irritate him now when there was so much time left till morning.
Instead I turned. "What did you do?"

"With who?"

I stared at him blank for a moment. What did he mean with whom? Oh… that. Either I was too oblivious on keeping the track on one topic or he was too gotten into that thing that he was to make an example of it.

"With Lizzy of chores, who did you think?" I started to rattle as if it hadn’t been me who just asked the question about his plausible wife.

He eyed me some time, before daring to answer.

"We played… games." He didn’t sound very sure of the name. I wouldn’t be either if all you do is sleep, dancing with your partner on the wrestling field, practice one’s shooting skills and eat. In fact he was wearing his training costume even now.

"Oh? Like what?" I searched around and saw some simple skill games, most of her wooden collection was there, all nicely spread around the floor.

“She likes solving problems.” He nodded approval.

“Yes, well, she wants to be archeologist one day.”

“Who?”

I kept forgetting he wasn’t from here and that he had ears equal to Doberman’s. “Umm, historian chronicles studier, something.”

It was the first time I saw a true smile on his face, the one you give when you mean it. I was so stunned I immediately forgot what I was saying and just stared at him openly.

“I know, who archeologist is, we keep much better contact with your world than you do with ours.”

“Oh,” I felt like an idiot and blushed equally. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

His smile vanished. He changed the subject. “I figured out, who the other witch was.”

I welcomed his initial. It had been bugging me since his last visit and I was eager to hear the end of his sentence. “So?” I didn’t let him bake me long. I wanted to know, now, right here not wait another two days. “Tell me!”

“She called herself Florya. That’s your ancestor, isn’t she?”

Somebody up there really hated me and wanted to see me suffer I sighed disappointedly. “Yeah, that’ssss granny…” Great, he was summoned out by two Delmer women. I coughed slightly, trying to get this out of my system fast, but it stuck like a bad gum. Damned.

“I bet she got everything right in the first time.” I added sarcastically making my voice as soft as I could manage to keep it. Well, there went my hopes of getting some help from that mystery woman – kinda hard to get anything out of a ghost.

“She had much more experience than you have – it can be seen in miles.”

Perfect. I was to be the only black sheep of the family in this. I cursed her hard at that moment, why didn’t she take in consideration she ought to teach me first, not just give me a book that is mostly unreadable. Was she so eager to kill the tradition? Then why would she leave me the damned thing in the first place?

“I talked to my lord about this.”

Come again? Was he fishing for bad reputation? When I was searching ways to keep this under cover, he just ran around babbling about it to probably anyone he could get his hands on. I told myself to keep quiet and see what he has found out. As much as I didn’t like it, he was probably the closest to any solution.

“He said the only one, who has the knowledge to reverse this, would be our Healer. In order to see her, I need to take you to her – she never leaves her house.”

“You like said you need to take me there?” I interrupted.

“Yes I did.”

I goggled at him for some time, hoping he would back out and say he was joking. But his face kept his composure. This wasn’t quite what I had hoped for. What I had in mind included him just delivering me a punch of written texts we could follow without me going anywhere from my comfortable space.

“Where exactly is there?”

“For a change, you’re coming to my world.” He said calmly.

I burst into laughter, but buried it in palms as Lizzy was showing signs of wakening. “I’m sorry, um…” I rose abruptly and gathered the little bundle from the floor. “She really needs to, um… Come on, sweet, let’s get to bed. I’ll be back in a moment.” I was losing my composure and hid it fast behind the façade of doing something useful. My heart was racing like nuts. I still wished he’d come with papers.

I didn’t go back right away, but stalled getting myself some juice from the kitchen. I got two glasses, but took up only one.

“Here,” I gave him his and sat down again.

“Is it laughable that you need to come in to my world?” he didn’t wait to ask. “What is this?”

I gave him one very disappointed look. Though the times of knights seemed romantic in the books, it wasn’t so when seeing fear of being poisoned by everyone in his eyes now.

“I wouldn’t know how to poison you even if I’d want to.” He couldn’t be won over. “It’s just a drink, some apple juice.”

I thought he might be thirsty and that he was – he swallowed it in two gulps.

“And no,” I returned to his question. “I don’t think it’s funny, it’s just how I react on things.”

“Like when you yell in a bad mood?”

“I did not say I do it all the time. You’re getting to me with all this and I just happened to want to…” I lowered my voice down to a whisper, “yell at you…” I sighed. Not quite what I wanted to confess. “People react to surprise sayings with laughter. It’s a form of a fear and dealing with it.”

“You fear entering my world?” he asked fast.

I frowned. “Stop twisting my words! I didn’t say that.” I had to find some good excuse to change his opinion and convince myself in this too. “How long would I have to stay there?”

“As long as it takes to fix it. Why?” He stood, stretching his muscles. He looked intimidating again, but I passed this as something he probably was natural at. This gave me slight nudge that made him less scary in my eyes.

“More than a day then?” I rose too, only to make grimace on the hurting foot and leap over to my desk, bringing him my daily schedule.

”Why?” He asked, irritation growing knowing I was about to come up with some idea to ditch his only chance getting free.

“If you can tell me, how to pass all this without them noticing, I’d be very grateful.” I smirked. Perhaps use some fairy dust? He snapped the paper from my hand and read it with little interest, before rumpling it all in one tiny ball and giving it back to me.

“You need to get your priorities straight, girl!”

“You come first, right?” There, I knew the answer. He didn’t reply and I was glad for it. “Should I take something with me?” I continued fast, discarding the earlier question. I was sure he could come up with something nifty if given the chance, but I wasn't really interested in listening how someone rants about so irrelevant thing. Besides, I wasn't thinking of finding the way out of this, it was my mess and I had to clean it up.

“No, nothing I know of.” He eyed me from tip to toe. “When you get there, you’ll need to change – I won’t have you walk around looking like a boy.”

“I have dresses too!” It was weird he thought my fashion sense surrounded boy style – two third of my closets were filled with dresses and gowns from last year. One was gift from aunt, a nice dark blue, I was her bridesmaid. Even now I was actually wearing a skirt, a short one.

“Anything reaching your toes?”

“I preferred higher line.” I grunted, dragging the skirt lower, leaving the subject. “Look!” I nodded towards the eastern window. “I guess the gates will be open soon, you can get back at your training.”

I started cleaning the floor from Lizzy’s toys. It was weird to discuss my wardrobe with him anyway – what would you expect from an elf who hardly had chance to look up from the battle and see a modern age women taking a catwalk on the stage. They had little to do with how I dressed, but in my mind I thought I cleared the subject enough.

“I won’t be doing training today.”

“Oh? Sleep then perhaps?” I joked, getting the last of the pieces of the pyramid. I figured anyone was tired after spending the night talking and dragging yourself through one awkward conversation to another.

“Come here.”

I swooped up. He meant in the Flower ring? No. No, no and again no – I was not that uneducated in old myths – getting in the ring with an elf always meant trouble. On the other hand, how was he gonna get me in his world if I didn’t.

“Come.” He called me again reaching his hand to me. I was right in his reach, yet he didn’t grab me but waited me to answer.

“I’m so gonna regret this.” I whispered, letting the toys fall free on my bed and taking step towards him. "Wait!" I stepped back again, remembering what I thought earlier. I patted the pouch on my belt, my silver necklace with a bird. "I'm missing something…"

"I said you don't need anything." He started, but stopped when he saw me bring out my gem box.

"Give me these few minutes and I swear I'll behave." I promised fast, raising one stone after another against the light till I found what I was looking for – four different stones, each one exactly the color of my family members' eyes. If there was anything here I wanted with me, it would have been them, even if they didn't know it. Four different grey gems found their way to my pouch. They were all some sort of crystals just as their eyes that sparkled in sunlight. My eyes were grey as the dirt –I needed no reminder of that.

"What are they for?"

"I might need them there." I shrugged. I didn't want to explain this irrational thing to him, he would find it silly, but it was important for me to take them. I hid the box again and stepped next to him inside the circle. The flowers were long gone, but I could see them clearly in my mind.

"I don't think so," but he didn't try to reason with me, but closed his big hands around my wrist so hard it hurt and told me to send him back.

I hesitated. "How can you be sure I'll go with you?"

"All my things travel with me. So did your towel." Embarrassing moment, I thought, but he didn't seem to care. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Because am not some thing?"

He started losing his patience with me. "To magic, everything is some object to play around with. You'll see – there will be no trouble getting there."

"How about coming back?" I posted fast. I knew elves were hard to deal with, but I wanted him to promise me, assure me that I was coming back and not kept there. I wasn't sure any elf in one right mind would actually keep a promise given to human, but if he did say it out loud it would be something to remind him later.

"I don't know." He said honestly.

I stared at his deep brown eyes for a second or two. I was trapped. He wasn't gonna promise me anything and would be strong enough to keep me standing here with him until the next sunset if I'd refuse to say the words. Never step in the fairy ring unless dozed and sure you can afterwards claim on losing your sanity.

"You are free to leave." I used the words I had learned by heart the first time and clanged to his arms.

I could see my room vanish softly in thin air before another room immerged, a simple kitchen. He let go of me and I watched around the room. There was nothing really special about it – dirt floor, a table with benches and few cupboards.

We were immediately approached by an old woman, who bowed to Finn. "My lord, you're back." She sounded startled. "I started worrying when you did not return yesterday."

Lord? Was I in a mess!

"What does she mean?" I got suspicious.

"Has anyone come looking for me?" He continued fast.

"No, they think you are hunting Ursah." She started giggling like Lizzy did when she thought of something funny. Her little wrinkles came out one by one. She was actually kind of nice, warm and homey. I wondered who she was.

"Good." Finn nodded, removing his dagger holder from his hand. "Get her dressed."

"Right away." She bowed him slightly and started towards me. She stopped for a moment when she was far enough to measure me with her eyes, and then reached for me. "Come on, dear, I have just the dress for you."

I didn't know how to respond. Was she a servant? Or family?

She lead me to a room next to the one Finn was changing. It was even smaller bedroom, filled with two huge beds and a chest. She pat on my back like assuring it will all be right and went to search through the chest.

"My name is Kathy." I started shyly. I didn't know if she even wished to respond, but I sure wished to know her name. She seemed so nice and loving; there couldn't be any harm in learning her name.

She brought out a long simple light blue gown, little bodice and a marvelous grey tunic girded with white and blue.
"I'm Fenny." She laid the dress on one of the beds. "Strip up." She suggested and witnessed my stark red blush. "Oh, don't worry, he ain't the watching type. He has too much in his mind right now to look any gal."

That was comforting thought, but I doubted any man could resist the temptation to peak if given the opportunity. Still, not wanting to insult the woman, I removed my cardigan. She took it from me and waited for the rest.

I had to ease the situation somehow.

"So, are you Finn's grandmother?" I asked, removing my slip-on.

She laughed so openly I was pulled back. "Oh, would that be a day!" she turned her attention to the brim of my blouse. "I just make his clothes."

I swear I heard wrong. She was his seamstress? And he came to her to hide his disappearing? Wouldn't she rat him out?

"Oh, don't be so – he had to trust someone."

I thought he trusted his parents; he did go to them as soon as he could.

"I know all his secrets. Where else he could turn?" She continued. I had to admit, this was weird. I would never go to the woman, who measured me for a gown and tell her all about my little world. She forestalled my next question. "I hide his weapons, why not cover up you too?" She whispered half loud as if Finn couldn't hear her that way. Her shiny eyes went over my now shivering body and stopped on my bra. "That too."

I shook my head. No way.

"Yes, yes. Why do we have bodice then? Take it off, come on."

I tick went through my jaw, removing the last of the garment covering the upper body. She gave me courage with a smile and turned me around to fix the bodice around my lungs. I froze to my spot seeing Finn just few feet away focusing on his sleeves. I clamped my arms up to hide the little dignity I had left. He may have been ok appearing nude in front of anyone, I sure wasn't. Fenny used the moment and pulled the strings on my back together leaving me almost no room to breath, only gasp.

Finn was indeed gentlemen and didn't look up not once I was turned to him. But then I felt Fenny unlace my belt and I jerked, not letting her finish what she started.

"You can't wear that here." She explained, not letting go.

The gallant man before me disappeared and Finn's voice rolled over me as a cold shower.

"Take it off." He demanded.

I sternly met his gaze and refused. His frowning increased tenfold, but before he managed that, I still noticed the hungry look he gave me. I was right – no man can resist the temptation – the thumb rule for every woman to follow.

"Take it off, we don't have this material here, it will be too obvious."

"I'll hide it under the jacket." I argued, knowing I couldn't win, but I wasn't leaving my treasures behind, they meant too much for that.

"No! I said, take it off!" his look passed me for a moment, I presume it met with Fenny's and he seemed to ease a little. "Here," he threw me a small dark pouch with red flap clad with his signs, "you can put your things there."

"I'm not leaving them. Not with you, not with anybody."

His jaw ticked. "I'm not gonna drag them with me! You are! In this they are less noticeable."

It was my turn to frown, but I let the lady remove my stuff, before forcing him to turn with my peering look.

She pulled the soft gown over my head and strapped it on the back. The fabric was heavy and followed my every curve. It felt cool against my shame burned body. While she was busy making the dress stay place, I repacked my pouch. It was meant for a belt, looking down it was obvious this gown didn't require any.

"What is it, dear?" Fenny finished with the straps and started remodeling my plain hair.

"It is meant for a belt." I showed her.

"No worry, dear, I'll find it a nice rope you can use to put it over the shoulder."

A moment later she returned with shining red chain and helped me put it on. Then came the jacket and she started with the hair again.

That gave me time to look at myself. The dress itself was beautiful - it held more fabric than it showed, creating nice waves when I played with it. The jacket was from strong material and it felt odd to move around in, but the patterns on it were superb handwork and though hard didn't mind wearing something so refined for a change. The only thing out of place was his pouch that now tangled near my hips like a little handbag I had in fifth grade. The cord it was tied with looked awfully tender and I couldn't help but wonder when it broke off. I had to be careful – it was after all my whole world at the moment, the only thing to keep my contact with my world.

“I’ve got you all dressed up now.” He murmured giving me one thorough once-over, bemused by his own cleverness while Fenny finished with the hairdo. There was little she could do with them; I never had them longer than to my shoulder blades. I made a grimace as response, he sounded as he was choosing clothing for a doll.

oOOo

I openly studied people around me. What was he talking about the fashion again? Anything down to my toes? I saw several people around wearing much shorter skirts than I had ever seen among my friends and they were the mini skirt enthusiasts at school!

I didn’t hear him approach, but a moment later I was softly moving on, with his hand keeping me steadily on pace. I glimpsed at him, he had put on a nice long tunic. That was about all I saw as he stayed back enough to hide himself from view.

“I could have easily worn my own skirts here!” temper rising in me as I spoke. “I look like a fool in this gown!”

“No you could have not!” he protested, getting serious again. “If you are to be among my family, you better act accordingly and this means dressing properly. It is one thing to rise suspicion, it is totally other to dress as a commoner!”

The jacket suppose to be covering my breast made me feel itchy and I couldn’t get it high enough to hide my skin from the world. I didn’t like it one bit anymore – why have full length to cover your feet if up there, everything was put out for full view.

“I fail to see the logic in you argument!” I pushed through my teeth and stopped trying to keep the jacket up, it was pointless hope.

“Dressed as a commoner you would be executed without giving you a chance to explain." he softly pressed on my back, making me move. "Dressed as a noble will need our Lord’s word before removing your head. This way you’d be brought to my father one way or the other and seeing you’re not around here he’d recognize you at once.”

“Oh! It’s like keeping a restraint on me even if I happen to wonder off?” I bitched.

The erupted stop was so sudden I almost fell over hadn’t he captured my elbow. “You’ll do no such thing!!”

I was taken back with the sincere sound I could hear in his voice. He honestly looked worried at that moment as if the whole world was out there to get me.

His eyes turned dark again and he let me go. “You don’t know our laws.” He explained harshly. “We don’t give strangers a chance to go back. It happened once that your people stumbled on us and it was enough to take up laws to prevent such episodes to repeat. It is bad enough you are too ignorant to find the answer to why the spell won’t stop, but that I had to bring you here...” he sighed. “Look around.” He advised me. “They can smell far you are not from our world and ready to become part of local legends as of one who killed the outsider.”

I kept my look steady on him not at all appealed to see all the eyes I knew were tagged on my back. He was right, I had little clue of what might happen to anyone, who was bold enough to be different. God that made me miss our little town – exact laws to everyone with little crime and even less anything else. And freedom to wear what ever one wished.

“Do you still wish to go walking by yourself?”

I shook my head. No, I had no such wish left in me. He nodded approvingly and led me on towards a huge garden.

He didn’t explain, but I understood this had to be his father’s home. I remembered him telling me the first time we met that he had been on his way here when I so rudely intervened. This gave me something to think about while we walked. I wondered if he had his own house somewhere and perhaps indeed someone waiting him there or had he been just on a tour of some sort.

My daydreaming was interrupted by sounds of metal and bows hitting thick wood. That’s probably the place they practiced their skills for war. I had to admit they sounded good and looking around, they had to be, because I saw no signs of any recant attacks in the city.

“You wish to see me hanging too, don’t you?” I asked when we were half way to the city gates that marked his family’s territory.

“I need you. You have nothing to fear until then.”

His monotone answer was all that needed to keep me calm. The situation got much clearer to me then. I was safe till he got free. After that my life will got pretty much uncomfortable. All is well as in hell; I snuggled sadly and kept the pace. He was being honest, I gave him that much, though I would have liked the notion of him being slightly friendlier or trying to use the fairy charm I had read about from old tales.

Yuk! Imagining him using some fairy dust to charm his ways to get me into doing his biting seemed repulsive. I shivered from the idea, deciding right there that I preferred him shooting his red arrows at me to scare me than see him play cupid.

Why did he have to be so darn honest?

"That necklace," he woke me, "take it off."

I stared at him with honest question in my eyes – what necklace? How had he even seen it? It was so small she hardly remembered wearing it.

Not getting the answer he waited, he stopped me and reached his hands to get it. Soon the little tangle was in his palm and he discarded it unconsciously in his pocket. I watched it go not daring to remind him I rather had it in my little purse.

"Do you want the rings too?" I asked, raising my three fingers up to meet his gaze.

"No, they are simple enough to fit."

Alright. I guess I ought to be glad now.

I continued to walk, not waiting him follow.

He immediately caught up and put his hand back on my back to lead me. This was too much. "I wish you'd stop that, it's embarrassingly childish!" I marked and pulled myself free, only to feel him clench in my jacket so hard it left bruises.

"Take this as our way of holding hands." He pressed through his teeth. "And you'll feel much better. Besides, I think it's much more personal that just keeping fingers engaged, don't you think?" his voice grew lower as his hand caressed over my backbone and lower back. That I did not expect.

I pressed my lips so hard they formed a white stripe over my face. He raised his hand again and we continued the journey, I more upset than before. Not because of him, but mostly over my own stupidity of even letting the thought of keeping my jewelry through my head.

"When we meet my father, you are not to ask or say anything before him, do you understand?" I nodded in slight response. "I'll have to leave you there alone for a minute, so stay put and say nothing, but wait till I arrive."

"But what if they talk to me?"

"I doubt it. It's like a war strategy…"

"…no one sees you standing in plain site," I finished for him, "I know that strategy, works well on little children too."

He hardly smiled.

Long distance call IV

2008-09-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

oOOo

The introduction to his parents hardly existed as they didn't even gaze at me when passing us heads lowered for respect. Finn didn't make a try to raise their attention either. I thought of it weird, but rethink it a moment later, realizing it was good.

The castle itself was very dull. I expected elves to be a bearers of something wonderful, instead met a lot of empty walls. It was lighter, yes, and the plants covered almost every place possible, but that was about it – behind the walls there was nothing, no elaborated carvings, no wooden or stone laces. Finn caught me staring around and explained this was their hunting house that was built for war in the first hand and has been like that since. When that since was, I had no inclinations to ask.

What he called halls seemed to me as all self standing huge tents built in the middle of a huge garden. Only made of stone, yet having the lightness of a wood. Still, it was ugly to my sense of beauty and made me wish back to my ugly suburban yellow room.

Just as he had promised – after the lords had entered to one of those tall white halls covered everywhere with soft white silk, he left me alone, standing in the middle of nothingness. I could have killed him for that move. What was he thinking?

I spent my time well, studying the men and women around me, one more beautiful than the other. Two women not far from me seemed similar to Finn, their hair were much longer, but they had the same eyesight and way the familiar body built. One of them kept a keen watch over me, so even I hardly dared to breathe. I wondered if they were his family members.

“Look at that! What an awful lace she’s done to me!” I looked at the most wonderful handwork I had ever seen in my life – she’d be fit to dress queens! I had seen her earlier walking in the corridor looking at the flowers while comparing her work with them. But I never saw her even look at her work while her fast fingers did her bidding, yet no one else managed not to look – what wonderful glistering patterns came under those small fingers. There was nothing comparable in our world. She reminded me of Fenny, but she was younger than she was. I thought this might be her daughter and therefore mother of the six children, who happily chased us up when we left.

“I must make sure one of her fingers is removed for presenting me such a distasteful thing.”

I froze. The bright lady before me turned into an ugly toad. Was she serious?

“How dare you?” I asked loud over the hall, taking my place next to the young Fenny. “She just gave you the most elaborated lace anyone has ever mastered!”

Her golden eyes shot open in shock, her long fingers starting shivering. “It is trash!”

“In what way?” I demanded crossing my hands on my chest. If she was to through such accusations, she better do this through facts.

She stared at me before taking a closer look in woman’s handwork. “It’s… not in style! Lilies! Who wears lilies anymore?”

I let my eyes flow over the bystanders – six women in higher rank had lilies covering their coats, two of them being Finn’s sisters.

“And it’s cheep!”

I was appalled. “It was done with love between all her other duties in the hall, watching her children play and listening birds sing! It is worth more than you ever own, princess, and she offered this to you as a gift!”

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT?”

I collected the lace from the floor where she had thrown it and gave it back to the woman. “Who are you then?”

She gave me a list of titles. “Without your titles,” I intervened, “Tell me, who you are, without using your titles.” Between screaming and fainting I sort of lost the answer, but I didn’t wait up to get it either, but decided to lead my friend out of there.

“Milady…” she tried to intervene, but I shook my head.

“Hush!”

In this world I had nothing to lose I couldn’t fight for. If this was to bring any problems, I was sure it couldn’t be worse I had encountered before. Surely not as disturbing as that political history exam I was stupid enough to take last year. Now that was something to fret about.

I was almost out, getting us through the crowd out in the hall. Finn better be right about this dressing code or I’ll find my end right here and now. He had to be right, I decided a moment later, when we got to the door intact. But that’s where the real problem started.

I noticed Finn not far from the other door leading in and stared in his cold eyes for a moment. He was leaning on his long bow and didn’t seem very happy to see me, which could only mean he had witnessed the whole thing from here.

“Did you really mean what you said in there?” the old lady’s question brought me back to reality and I released her from my grip.

“Yes.”

“Then you are in real trouble, milady.” She gave me a concerned look.

Finn started towards us and I could feel how my heart sank with his each step. “I know. But it’s better me than you.” I shrugged, I tried to keep my attention on her and not look him coming.

“I owe you my life now, if…”

“Definitely not!” I had no need to mix anyone else in my little drama as far as I could help it. God knows what that would bring if I’d accept an offer big as this.

She seemed shocked. I had to be broking one of their unspoken rules again I sighed. “But I’d take a promise, if I may ask?”

“Yes milady?”

“Promise me,” I could feel Finn getting closer, “promise me you teach your children your art?”

“Milady?”

“Just promise me, please? Teach them the gold you possess.”

“I promise.”

I discarded her with a smile and watched her disappear between the columns. Better me than she, I repeated to myself. She had other obligations more important from mine.

“Leave you alone for one damned minute!" he cursed, but without his usual angry tone. "You should’ve taken her life, she being lower than you, it….” Finn put his hand on my back, a sign to start walking.

“It’s not hers to give.”

“How’s so?”

“She can’t go around giving promises like that – she has children to grow. Surely, you see logic here…” I hoped so. “Besides, she’ll be soon happy she didn’t give it and therefore she can go on with her life without regretting it.”

“Please don’t be mad.” I whispered. I didn’t want him to be mad.

“I’m not mad.” He grunted his usual way. “And you are right. It’s not hers to give.”
I thanked him in my heart.

“Where are we going?” We had walked some time now in silence. He was leading me outside, towards the training fields, but he surely wasn’t out to practice. But exactly there he stopped and showed me a bole I could sit on and watch.

“Do I have to watch?” I was sort of displeased, what fun could there be watching someone do something for hours, because he probably wasn’t gonna satisfy with five minutes. Seeing how he mastered his bow, this must have been a daily routine.

“You wish to stay at the hall with Ferigan?” he murmured, checking his arrows.

So that was her name? I gladly declined the offer. I knew it was in my own interests not to get around her right now, being equal to Finn, she’d probably see me scream of pain.

I watched him tune his bow before taking the first shot as casually as he was getting dressed. In a way he did. I was amazed; the shot hit its target hundred feet from where he was standing.

“Can I try?” My fingers ached to touch it.

He gave me sympathetic look. “No.”

“I’m not as week as I look!” I showed him my muscles as tiny as they were, but knowing those muscles did help me move my oversized bed, they seemed much bigger to me.

He burst in laughter. I was taken off guard – his eyes sparkled. This was no polite smile, but a genuine, warm mocking smile.

“No.”

Ok, I sat back on the pence. “Why not?”

“No one, not even my weapon master, touches my bow. Definitely not the one I used as practice stance.”

I gulped hard with that image. “Alright, fare.” I gave up.

He started his practice, sending one arrow after another to the target. Not one missed. I observed him repeat this for some time and realized I rather liked watching him in action. Is that how the medieval women felt when the only place most of them saw men were on the practice fields?

“Kathy?”

I flinched from my seat, feeling him suddenly right next to me. “What?”

“You had this look on your face…” he shrugged, slightly worried.

How would he know what I looked like when he was so into his exercise? I clenched my teeth – he hadn’t concentrated on that at all!

“I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to distract you.” I apologized as soon as I managed to create words with my dry mouth again.

“It’s alright.” He took his bow and sat next to me on the pence. “I was meaning to talk to you anyway.”

I came rigidly still. It was if talking to my father. He used to use this tone with me when I was a little girl and he had to bring me the news of one my many pets gone up in heaven to their rightful place. After Susan was born, he stopped talking with me like that and instead used it on Susan, thinking I was big enough to know now, what really happened to my loved fireballs. I was so furious and hurt I didn’t spoke with him for weeks. Then he came home with another furry hamster. Why would one give a pet to a child that would die in two years anyway? Parents are so cruel using mice and hamsters to teach respect to animals. It was more like preparing them for death to me. And that made this tradition cruel.

“Tomorrow my father is signing me back to my duties.” He said calmly, not noticing my fear filled eyes. “You are left with my sisters until the Healer returns from her journey.” He paused, giving me time to take it in.

Did he just say until Healer returns? I took a breath. "I thought the Healer was here, isn't that why you brought me here?"

"No, Healer is on his way to the Sharecone Mountains, she'll be back in few days."

"Then… why did you bring me here?" Away from all my duties, just to sit around?

"So you wouldn't be able to call me out again – I'm having difficult times explaining my disappearing as it is, I will not have you call me away again!"

Things got a lot worse at that point. I was still hoping I'd have to spend here less than a day, then return home and pretend I was just out for fun and prepared to stay in my room for the next two months. But to be gone for more than a day would raise suspicions and with my mother, bring consequences only Hell master could bear later on. I didn't even want to think on what happened when I then turned out.

"You? I am about to miss two days with my family! While being under house arrest! I know it means absolutely nothing to you, but they are fucking gonna kill me! After tomorrow they probably will call police to search me out and then… God!"

He had this incredible I-don't-care-look on his face I could have hit him right there so hard he'd remember it forever. I jumped up and started spacing to stop the irresistible urge to puke.

"Stop it, you're giving me a headache!" he growled and rose to stop me.

"In two days, I'm gonna be more than a headache!"

He was convinced in that just as much as I was, because he frowned at me.

"But before that," he started after a moment of silence and took a step back, "I am arresting you, Catalina Delmer, for using witchcraft for personal amusement."

Six elves appeared from surrounding foliage witch all arrows pointing at my neck. I was so baffled I hardly managed to keep myself standing, which all together was actually quite easy as I was sure had I fallen there, it would have brought with it at least ten arrows all over my chest.

I kept my eyes on Finn. I was trying not to start crying and show myself week. Through all the sceneries I had in mind, this hadn't even occurred to me.

Speaking to my lawyer would be a joke at this point; I thought anger flooding over me and went with the guards, knowing he was still standing there, probably laughing his socks off.

What happened next was like a bad dream. I was taken before the Lord again, who roughly went over why I was brought there and added the insult against Ferigan. I saw Finn take his place next to the Lord and watched me stand there, all dressed up, ready to be fed to the wolves. I kept staring at him, not really knowing, where to turn.

"Is it funny now?" someone asked from the crowd, "Are you laughing now, witch?" asked another.

He tried to look away couple of times, but turned his gaze back. I had done nothing to him and he knew it, I was sure he did. I wanted to see him burn for his actions, not me. I prepared myself for burning, what else did they do with witches then? Hang them? No, I was safe until we saw the Healer, that's what he said! Or was that one more of his lies? I realized suddenly that he wasn't amused by the trial. I could have sworn he was actually sad.

Someone sent a shoe towards me and it hit painfully at my elbow. I didn't take a look, who had done it, but kept my eyes on Finn. His eyes grew darker and were turned to my right, where the blow came from, before turning them back at me.

I hardly remember what was said, before the Lord turned to me.

"Are you aware by the charges placed on you?" his voice barreled over the hall, making everybody silent.

I lowered my eyes, but said nothing. When I first stood here, I was sure I wanted to burst out all the injustice they were doing me, trying to make them see that I was no witch and this was accident, but listening them made me realize that even if I tried, I was still the worst in their eyes, the one who had the power over both of our worlds and abused it.

"Open the tub, read it to Scarab…" I gasped and looked up, searching among the elves standing around me. The voice belonged to my grandmother.

"Do you understand charges placed on you?"

"No." I tried to stall and still searched the voice among the faces, but none of them looked as if they'd said anything for a while. "Yes, my lord." I whispered sadly, turning my gaze back to the floor tiles.

"I therefore sentence you to be hanged tomorrow morning. You will spend the night in the garden of Solitude."

I had to sit and that's what I did, fell down on my knees, trying to keep my head from swirling.

oOOo

The garden was small, perhaps only ten feet by ten feet and resembled more a hole. It was surrounded by arches, which were probably filled with watchers, though I didn't see any. The wines going up and down looked like one huge mass, leaving only small area to put the bench in. The moon was bright and I hated it – all looked liked spattered in cream.

I had sat there for two hours, before the sentence reached my mind and I burst into tears. I had no wish to leave my life behind. I had sisters for crying out loud and mother and father. I wanted them back!

I was cold now, I felt as the sadness was draining me from my warmth and not long after I was shivering hard. The clothing the woman had provided me with was not meant for fall's cold nights. I tried to keep still, so the pain would keep still on the surface and not get deeper.

I remember the stones I had brought with me. Through them I could still see in their eyes, right? I hoped so, I saw longed to see them right now. I took the gems out and played with them for a while, before my eyes stopped on Lizzy's stone. It felt warm in my hand.

Suddenly a small hand reached out and touched it. I raised my eyes and watched her weird light filled shape dance before my eyes. She was smiling at me, just as she would when she came to wake me up and in her hand she held a blue Iris. I couldn't move, only watch her and try to smile back at her, while she reached out to try my dears.

"My little angel…" I whispered, before she reached out her hand and placed the Iris in my lap and then disappeared as smoke.

I gasped – what was that? I threw the stones back in the pouch and stared at the flower in my lap. How did she manage that?

Hope – that was the name of the Iris. I had hope. Even granny had said it, in the crowd. Only if I could get to that man she named – Scarab. It was also the only box left in the garage.

She told me to read him the letter in the tube… I grabbed the tube from the pouch and watched it in the moonlight. It had still this unreadable seal on it.

"Granny, you better be right." I prayed towards the sky and broke the seal and very softly removed the upper part of the tube. In it was a small piece of paper.

And let out disappointed sigh on the next moment. It was like a torment had to go on forever. I read the words:

" As Earth is my witness,
So shall I say
Twice will you take it.
If you appear before me
Once will I give it.
If you stand beside me.

Mine is the will to call you
Yours is the will to answer.

As Earth is my witness,
So shall I say."

I had to be dreaming! All it was was the same stupid spell that got me in this mess in the first place. I put it back in the roll and was ready to hide it back in the pouch, when I saw suddenly Finn appear in one of the archways.

I felt my stomach strengthen. I had no wish to talk to him not now not ever.

"Is this the spell you used?" he asked, honestly shocked.

I used it to wrinkle my eyebrows and nodded. "Yes, you didn't know?"

He shook his head and touched against the wall for a second, but pulled away fast as it was burning him. "The words…" he shook his head again and then disappeared.

I was speechless. I sat down again, still cold, still not willing to understand what was to happen in the morning, because I honestly had no idea.

oOOo

The next morning came way faster than I expected. As came the soldiers, who took me back to the hall. This time it was empty and there were no one except the Lord, woman, who I would say was the Healer and Finn.

"There has been a change in the circumstances," Lord began. "As I understand, you have power over my son that needs to be lifted before you can be hanged."

I wished to die right there. These words hardly touched my soul, only made the wounds hurt more and I wanted this to end, one way or the other.

"I have no power over your son!" I retorted, why wouldn't they finally get it? "I had no idea what I was doing that evening and still don't! I swear on my honor, on my granny's grave, on God, on who ever you choose – I did not wish it to happen nor will ever wish again! And I did not wish to gain any personal joy out of putting you in this situation." I turned towards Finn, but gave up almost at the same time. "Why won't any of you believe me?"

"I do."

Finn's voice was so clear I flinched.

"I heard your spell last night." He said calmly.

"So?" I didn't understand where he was getting at.

"I heard what it said. Mine is the will to call you, Yours is the will to answer. It wasn't you, who kept the spell alive. It was me."

As if it was all a dream, I stood again in my own bedroom with him in the middle of the flower circle, holding his bow at me, ready to shoot. He immediately lowered it, just as surprised as I was.

"Get out." I said firmly, rising from the floor, where I was sitting.

He didn't answer, but never looked back either. That night was a torment to me, I didn't know what to think or where to look. I kept my hands in fists too, so I wouldn't reach up, take the damned book and burn it.

I burned the box meant for him the next day though, cried like hell for all the hurt feelings gathered in me, but I did it. Never new what was in that box. Except that it was light as a feather.

Then Lizzy came to me with a letter she said she had found from the box meant for me and she'd taken it out yesterday to bring it to me. I burst in sarcastic laughter so heavily I must of looked like nuts, but I opened the letter and read it anyway. Granny had been right so far, perhaps this was only to prove she had the answer to make me feel better, too.

"My dove,
the bottle you carry with you will help you to clear your anger towards him. You like him and so do I. All my love will stay with you, my dove.
Love you.
Granny."

I took out the bottle and watched it sparkle against the evening light. Maybe he actually is worth it?

Dialect differences

2008-09-10T00:27:00.000-07:00

To start this story, you first need to know two things:
1. The characters created here belong to Draguna Doragon from fanfiction.com. SHe originally started this story, but she was on hiatus at that time. Her main story line was created for this character's sister and brother, but I (fancylover of the sidekicks) liked these ones more and after realizing she wasn't to continue, wrote the next chapters myself. I have written to her about writing this to let her know I have written the sequal and thus removed the original from the fanfic page. In order to understand the situation and the characters, I suggest warmly you familiarize yourself with her story on the link given above.The species belong to the original Predator creators too.
2. My grammar sucks. Big time, so I'm sorry for any misunderstandings that come with it.

"This is bad!" Riona babbled, sitting next to her while she had her hands band aid.
"You think?" Rose was frustrated by what had just happened. "My first meeting with my future husband took place with him holding me down like a slave girl!" The doctor seemed too suspicious at this point. "Leave us!" she declared.
"But, lady, your…"
"I said, leave us! I'll finish it up myself."
"Yes, miss." He went and she started basing the room from one corner to the other.
"You mean…" Riona seemed shocked, even too much according to her age.
"Yes, the other one must have been him; I don't know… it could have been anyone by that matter." She sat back down the table and tried to close the band she was putting around it.
"He looks like a demon! Did you see how dark he was?" Riona took over her sister's activity.
Thinking back, he didn't seem very eager to let go of her, even after acknowledging who she was, therefore she took it as an obvious sign of him not really wanting to participate this charade like marriage. Neither was she, but as she understood, there was no way of getting out of it, especially after learning how much it meant.
"He was?"
"Yes, didn't you see?"
"Not really." She lied.
"Rose!"
"I was checking out his weapons! Didn't pay much attention to what he looked like, as far as I understood, he was just some ass trying to get us."
They paused.
"Dad must be angry right now…" Riona disturbed the silence.
"I'm sure of it, especially if he learns about how we were discovered."
"Oh God, I totally forgot about that!"
"Well, there isn't much we can do now… Face the music?"
They giggled.
"I can't look up to them again!" Riona said through laughter. It's too embarrassing."
"I'm sure it is, but we have to. Just imagine them… naked… it will get you out of the embarrassment." She looked at her blushing sister. "Oh, so that won’t do the trick?"
"What? I don’t know what you're talking about! He's a brute!"
"Right, and that's what didn't make you daydreamin’ just now."
"Rose!"
"Alright, alright. I think it's better if we all just slept on it for now and see about it tomorrow."
They departed from each other with concern, but with little they could do about it.
She went in bed trying not to think about it, but couldn't stop herself. All this thing had had a bad start – the young yautja not even considering her worthy to show up in the first time three years ago and now she hitting him to his neck to be pulled down on her knees with definite desire to kill her. If this was her future as a wife, there will be no future for this marriage, she was sure of it. Either he or she… no that was too easy and problem generating.
She had to face him again tomorrow, find out what he thought about it, though it seemed more than obvious what he thought. Especially turning up here dressed like he was going for a heavy duty war. Not that her sister's first encounter with the one called Daijuta went any better, though by now she had settled down with the idea in herself, while still keeping the face. But inside she was ok with it.
She slept little that night, only few hours and she was up, alerted by a voice coming from the garden. She tried to sleep on, but that something had done good job waking her and after half an hour it was clear she couldn't get any sleep.
Therefore she got dressed in long yellow gown and as the door was watched over by nanny's room and a guard, made her way out from the balcony, which was never under surveillance. Like this time. She was light, therefore it was no trouble for her to clime down the vines, which covered the terrace. She did have to watch out for guards outside, but by the looks of it, they were very sleepy at this hour and put little attention to what went on elsewhere.
Just as she had got down and her feet touched the ground, she heard that clinking sound again that had woken her up. This time it came from higher. Interested in what it was, she pulled back few steps and glanced towards the sound, which seemed to come few windows on the left from hers.
What she saw was a shadow like figure sitting on the edge of the balcony, sharpening blades of some kind. He would observe the blades, which made a sunray-like aura around the hand, then after finding some fault, clanged some other item against it.
It must have been the same guy from earlier, the one with the impressive armory. He did look dark enough, too, having almost no colors against the dim light coming from the French windows behind him.
She observed him for some time, before the yautja suddenly sniffed the air and turned to see her, startled on his feet. She couldn't make out any of his face, but she knew he took it as a surprise, which made her grin of amusement, before she took off to the shadows of the gardens, just to miss the two guards, who passed her only few inches from where she had just stood. They were slaking off the yautjas and that made her almost turn back to nail them down, but then she though, why would she bother. After all, it wasn't like she liked the idea of searching this union with them herself.
So to distract herself, she ran further in the garden, breathing in the scent of just cut grass and soft summer flowers mixed with uprising dew. The grass itself was cold as ice and soon her long dress was also heavy from gathered water, which now scratched against her feet with all the little pearls embroidered to her dress.
She wondered off to the little maze in the further side of the garden, tracing the ticklish conifers with her hand. She knew the way in the middle by heart, often closing her eyes and letting the trees to lead her, searching by hand, where trees would end and reaching out hand for the next group or wall till the mind would start playing tricks on her, leading her to the most weirdest ways out of the maze.
Same happened this time. After following the trails for some time, she reached out for another group of conifers, when her hand met something different from what she would recognize as a tree. She frowned. It was cold as the trees, covered with net and warm at the same time, warmth coming like from somewhere far. She let go of the trees, now reaching out both her hands to get to understand, what she was touching, still not ready to jerk her eyes open and look face to face with the truth.
After a moment of silence, which made her bit her lower lip again, she opened her eyes, glaring up towards the sky, where Moon was still spreading light to the black figure in front of her.
"I am not dreaming..." She frowned again, pulling back her arms and folding them against her body to get some warm.
The yautja didn't jerk, but neither did she. Like the first time, she just stood there, calculating her odds against this massive body in front of her and if he was again carrying weapons of some sort, which would be quite underestimate to think he did not and if he'd attack her again. This time without her starting it?
Great, she got out from her room, pass the guards and only to have him follow her.
"You mock me, ooman?"
She looked up at him. Not quite what she expected. But at least he was speaking her language for now.
Alright, speaking was good, but where did he get that idea from?
"I do not understand your meaning." She replied as formally as possible, trying not to get in another fight with him as at this hour, she was sure, no one would be close enough to get her saved in time.
"Earlier, when I saw you come here."
Oh, that grin. She smiled.
"No, that was not meant to mock, sir."
"What was it meant for?" he sounded ready for arguing, angry long before meeting her. Rose felt like the last straw in the pile of his angry ways, reading way too much out of this shadow before her.
"It was merely a surprise to see anybody else up at this early, sir." She replied calmly, though her heart wasn't so steady and it sharply came through her voice. "Forgive me if I have offended you." She quickly added, still staring up where the eyes should have been.
She was quite sure now that differently what her sister had told her about his brother, this yautja had to be treated with curtain respect, as much as her honor would allow it, to keep herself alive. She had to admit, he did have a curtain feeling of honor and respect around him that made it a bit easier, but half of it was nothing but pure fear before this magnificent killer.
He didn't come the half way to reply, instead stood there like a statue, observing this female ooman, who was shivering before his eyes, but showing no fear. She must of felt cold by now as judging by her clothing she wasn't planning to stay outside for long.
There was something he wanted from her, she became sure of it more and more every moment, but dared not to hurry him.
Suddenly his head jerked hearing something from the back of the garden, a peacock singing, and put close attention to this, but she wasn't touched by the slightest. As nothing else could be heard, she decided to put him at ease.
"It's a bird." She declared sharply, almost annoyed by the fact that he couldn't recognize the sound.
His head turned back at her, eyes drilling through her.
"Does a bird carry saber?"
Her widened eyes answered for her, but she calmed down fast.
"The guards do." She replied, annoyed by the thought that the men had found them already, she did not want to mess around with guards right now so she would have to spend the next three days with nanny sleeping in her room. "Please sit." She showed to nearby pence. She had suddenly understood the problem.
The eyes turned back at her.
"Why?"
"You are 8 feet tall, the maze is only 7 and half high."
The creature let out a low grunt and sat, still looking way too high for a person.
She didn't sit next to him.
"If they enter the maze, it will take them another hour before they will find us." She explained like it was everyday thing. "Actually, there is something I would like to ask you, if you don't mind." She started forthright, pushing the question no further in the future.
He didn't feel like answering anything, but it felt a good start to do the task his father had placed on him, so he allowed it.
Rose though how to compose it, but as she knew quite well already how he felt about their joined future, there was no reason to fear to be disappointed.
"You are not interested in creating the union our fathers have chosen us?" The Moon came out just to show a slight flicker in his eyes, but she got no reply, so she continued. "Neither am I."
Silence fell over them.
He had been sure that they would be all over the idea of marring off to yautja family, getting fame and grawling nearer to his father's territories, to derail him from his traditional ways, like they had already done. But now this fragile creature here is telling him otherwise, so sure about it not a tone in her voice could convince him in anything else.
"At the same time, in my position, there is no escape from it except to die and I am not interested in that option. The agreement was settled between our fathers long ago, I can not change it. Nor can I see any ways that would prevent a war if this agreement does not take effect."
She understood that her last words were like a red flag to this hunter, but to be straight, she felt the need to explain all she had thought.
"The war will come." Raijuta assured her on low voice.
He was angry at himself at this moment as he had never been surprised by an ooman before, not the way she kept doing it and he felt unease.
"I am sure of it. Still, there is difference if the war takes place between two equal forces or become an extermination of lower race, which, as I understand, brings no honor to any side." She had to pause; her voice was taking up tone not suitable to any discussion, especially one you hoped to bring results.
"Does your father know you are negotiating with me?" he suddenly asked, narrowing his eyes.
She didn't answer, but silent clink her teeth made, when brushed together, said no.
"No." she finally voiced out. "I just wish to hear your honest reply to my question. What makes us so repulsive to you that you can't complete your father's wish?"
That was not amusing anymore. The tone she said it with was no less than serious and though it aggravated him a lot, he had to admit, she had not flinched at all, showing no fear for who they were, though not more than a day ago, she had been really frightened of him. The fear was probably still there, but she hid it well, much better than her emotional sister, who only made him angry. She was also blunt, which he found to be an exception among humans he had met till then.
"You are week, animals of pray, below me. It is dishonorable to even talk to you, not to mention have an agreement with you. I am ashamed I am used as a backup to such an agreement. I will not have you as my mate."
She nodded slightly, nothing surprising in his answer.
"So, what are you going to do about that?"
"I rather challenged you and killed you. But I am forbid to do so."
In a way that came as a consolation, the numb wrists reminding constantly what this short turn of faith would bring.
"Alright." She took the conversation together in a breath. "Now, tell me, what was on your mind that made you follow me here?"
That girl had no sense of respect in her voice. She sounded rushed by the sounds getting closer to them.
He gave up. Fine, if it was to be so informal, then be it.
"I am forced to apologize to you for this morning."
So, an apology? Rosemary grinned. That was not quite what she expected, but understandable. Not very sincere, understandably not his own will, but his father's, therefore which was gonna be all he could get from him. For now.
"I guess I owe you an apology too," she started slowly, "I did not know who you were and attacked you." She bowed slightly. "Now, forgive me, sir, but I do not wish to meet the guards just yet." Her face warmed up and she made her way in the dark away from him, pushing her porcelain hand again in the conifers, leading her in some side branch of the fence.
He looked at where she had disappeared and to where the soldiers were about to appear and decided he too didn't want to meet them, especially as he was suppose to stay in the rooms given to him. The camouflage didn't seem to work, apparently because of the misty dew on him, so he stepped in some side road too.
As she predicted, they went straight to the end of the maze and then back without looking in dead ends, where she hid, jamming in with the conifers, staring straight at the Raijuta in the other end of the dead end doing the same. She knew as long as she stayed quiet, no one would see her there, though few flared a light in the sides too.
Raijuta was surprised, seeing her so close in the other end, dressed in light colors and how the guards still managed to miss her. That was low level of security even for oomans. His eyes followed the soldiers out and then looked back, where the woman had stood, but she wasn't there anymore. A sharp silent growl rose from him. The ooman moved silently, hiding her steps in the grumble the men were making till he noticed her coming out way on the other side of the maze, running fast without looking back towards the cliff they had found her in the morning.

She got back just before morning wakening, blushed with the cold morning outside. She ran around her usual way, not even giving a glimpse before jumping up on the vines and dragging herself up. About in the middle she heard almost inconspicuous grunt just where bushes were. Her hands halted the climbing and she took a frightened look towards the sound, expecting to see her father again or guard, but instead saw the black warrior again in his full glory, standing there, hands folded on his chest.
"I knew you'd come back." He sounded amused.
"So? You shouldn't be here either, as far as I know, you were grounded." She hissed and climbed up faster, but before she could reach for the baluster, a hand grabbed her ankle. "Let go!" she shouted fiercely, giving him a strong aching push with the other leg against the dark hand that was holding it and pulled up in such force that he had to let her go.
"You…"
"Have a good morning!" she wished him over the edge, disappearing behind the curtains, giving him no chance to finish his sentence.
He murred unhappily, smooths his hand, where armor had foraid into his arm and made his way back to his resting place. He was angry at ooman for leaving just when they had made an eye contact, which he considered very rude behavior. She was not to become his mate, ever.

Rosemary crawled back in bed just to be awakened by nanny. She of chores understood immediately from her blushed cheeks and cold neck that this girl had not stayed inside like a proper lady, but had yet again one of her nightly walks and what followed, could be heard all over the ladies rooms.
Therefore, now bound with the place for the next week till guests were here, there was little she could do, except to tend her lessons and sneak in training room from time to time. Like she did now, daring to get out of the nanny’s fears look while she was having her daily nap.
Her sister, who was now much calmer being, showing again her gentle side, which seemed to appeal the younger yautja better. She knew a bit too well that such act would only bring anger from Raijuta, therefore she just sat there, trying to be as less pain in the ass as possible, say as little as possible and at the same time be almost human with his father and nanny.
She changed fast into training costume, which was made up by light tunica and long dark green trousers. She hadn't scheduled the training for today, therefore the trainer wasn't present, when she walked over to the weapons she had tried on yesterday so fleetingly. She had forgotten the enemy behind her thanks to her screaming sister she loved so much, though her trainer kept telling her that it's the first rule ever – never forget, what goes around you. That's the problem with having no one to practice it.
She observed the circles and decided these were not for her and turned for the cane instead. Though she came here with the intension of practicing her fighting skills she suddenly felt no good reason to drain herself for another fight, so she just started with few swift moves, before concentrating to the basic warming of her limbs, turning back and front so fast, that the eye could make a flowerbed out of her.
After the body was warm, she did stretching, dropping herself almost into nothing less, swinging from one side into another, jumping high in the air, using cane as her only encouragement. Around the fortieth or fiftieth jump she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her, something flickered from the corner. It was dark and she knew no thing there that would give out such shadow. With the next jump she had a better look and landed then heavily on her full feet. Not something you would try ever again.
"Why do you keep doing this pointless move?" he asked, annoyed by it. He had started to think more of her to see something so pointless by her behalf.
"It helps me to relax." She pushed out, obviously reluctant to have company while her training. But that didn't scare him off that easily; he wanted to see more of what made her slim body so strong his hand still hurt after several hours later.
"Jumping up and down?" He made a step closer. There had been several days now since he had his last kill and training and it was starting to make him edgy.
She backed away, raising the chain as for protection, though it seemed very stupid idea facing his half armed tall muscular body. At least he'd left that metal maul in his room.
"Do you really think you can harm somebody with that stick?" he inquired stepping closer.
"It is not meant to hurt anyone. But with proper force, it might." That was meant both to warn him back off and to encourage herself.
How bathetic – an ooman female bragging with tooth stick as a weapon. He let out a disliking growl.
"Alright, prove it!"
What? Was he serious? She - against that mountain of meat? With a bamboo cane? Girl, you got to learn how to keep cool and quiet! She blew away auburn lock that was getting in her eye and back away as far as she could touch the thatch mats under her feet.
"Take off your blades." She demanded. There was no way she would go against him with all the shiny laser sharp edges around him.
He shook his head, dreadlocks clacking around, finally resting on his back.
"You are way more advanced in weponry then." She declared shadily, but that only brought laughter like grunt from his throat.
"In battle, no one takes off their gir because the opponent thinks so suitable. You said, you can protect yourself with that thing, then prove it!"
A battle? I did not start a fight again, did I?
But he did leave behind his massive brown coat, making himself more obvious this way. Like that helped a lot, she sight, before moving back to the centre to face his amused face.
"I so hate you right now!" she harped on herself, clutching to the thing in her hands.
Quick swing and a rose red stripe ran across Raijuta’s side. That was the last time she managed to touch him as after that move, he started blocking, and blocking and blocking till she was getting tired of it already. Finally so did Raijuta, getting annoyed by her clumsiness and soon grabbed a dagger, which sliced the cane in two sharp ended hand long sticks. Then he let out a long angry roar to show she had proved him nothing and decided to make a short end to it, sending her to the wall behind her. But just as he got close enough he suddenly saw her slim body make a sudden stabbing move towards him and a cold pain peered his side as the chain went through his external oblique muscle.
That hurt as hell as she could hear his anger filled hollering and in split of a second she found herself lying on the mats, trying to push away a nettled yautja screaming to her face with the same cane resting heavily on her chest, closing fast to her neck. This situation had gone way over any line possible and she begged in tears for someone to hear them and come fast.
The cane had just reached her neck when Raijuta was finally brutally pulled off her and flew over the room, landing heavy not far from the door. She coughed hard, trying to catch her breath, bathered in tears and going over her neck to feel if it was still there, before looking up to the Hul’tah, who was bending over her to make sure she was all right.
She couldn't get any word out, still scared by the power that had almost crushed her. Before she could even make a sound, Hul'tah managed to get back to his son, who he now raised up high in the air, roaring at him, fiercely without getting any respond and adding another hurtful punch to his already bleeding abdomen.
"No!" she screamed, bearing not to see him get scolded over something she had surely started. "Please, sir, he…" she coughed roughly, but managed still to get his attention and Raijuta landed heavily back on the ground.
As that disturbance wasn't enough her father and sister arrived on the scene with Daijuta. She had almost no power already, but to explain it over this crowd seemed too much.
"We fought, he got injured, he attacked…" she yelled as hard as she could, before getting caught up by another cough. "It's not his fault…" the last word fainted away somewhere, "I provoked him." She let her head down as silence took over the room.
Now that was very nice way to handle this politically – a princess with all her years of political studies. She caught, trying to get up, but her feet were still hurting after being pinched between Raijuta and the floor.
"Come again?" her father sounded surprised.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." She apologized fast, though didn't think it would mean anything.
But it did, as Daijuta and Hul'tah were observing her with utmost surprise. She, 5 feet 6 inched high slender girl actually called Raijuta out for a fight and injured him?
Raijuta rose quietly to his feet, staring at the girl. If his father had not heard them, he would surely had killed her by now. But he admitted silently that this little girl impressed him with the whit she used to catch him unguarded to hurt him with bare stick. She was much tougher than he had expected.
"I go get the doctor." Riona whispered, but the man already stood next to her, stopping her from run.
"I'm here, miss." He sighed and ran towards Rosemary, who was still trying to hold herself up on her arms, unable to cope enough with the pain in her legs to rise. "Oh my, your legs are really bruised this time, tough fight, eh?" he smiled friendly, trying to make her feel better. She nodded, bursting in light laugh, which mixed with sobbing a moment later. "There, there, don't worry, you'll be on your feet in no time."
He had seen many of her injuries to know she came out most of them with almost no after effect, hiding half of them even from her own father, who sometimes thought she was putting too much effort in gym instead in her cultural studies.
"First, we'll get you to your room." He raised his voice and the king jerked forward to take her, but a shadow passed him instead and grabbed her from the floor. The king, surprised with the sudden gesture, stood still, watching Hul'tah carrying her off, leaving them nothing but to follow.
"I am truly sorry for the inconvenience, sir." She started sadly, to apologize to the King.
"Don't mind it, pup." He purred with slight smile hidden in the sentence, before putting her on the bed the nanny had already fixed for her.
He turned back to the door, where his two sons were waiting and growled at Raijuta, who was standing there, head rested on his chest.
I shall deal with you later!
That did not sound good to her, but she didn't interfere as that would have get things only worse.
The dark figure followed his father, head down, giving her not even slight glance.
"Now, show me your feet." The man sat on her bed, distracting her view.

After less than an hour, she was finally left alone to rest and think over her stupid actions that definitely had to anger the yautjas, who as far as her father knew, were intolerant to anyone, who would call them out for fight just for fun and then let them be humiliated by showing up to be too week. She just listened to his scolding and asked for his forgiveness once more, knowing he would rather have her ask forgiveness from Raijuka, but right now he thought better to keep the dark demon away from her.
Therefore she laid down on her bed, staring at the light yellow ceiling and sight, stomach more and more upset, knowing she'd have to stand up from here one day.
A shadow passed the ceiling. She frowned tilting her head a bit to make sure it wasn’t something in her eyes. But the shadow disappeared and after a while she presumed it was indeed nothing more than a tree branch against the garden light. But no tree can reach that far, she wondered.
She gave up thinking on this and decided to get some sleep instead.

The next evening she sneaked back in the gym. Getting away from her nanny proved to be even harder than last night, but she managed it with her sisters help. She was stiff and edgy, unable to get any good sleep because of all that went around, listening voices from outside and seeing shadows that were not there. Raijuta had not left his room that day, probably duo his father’s request, but also because he had to work as Daijura explained to her sister, something with leading his hunting group. Therefore she thought it will be safe to try to relax again and get that stiffness out of her body, get the blood going again and remind the bruises from last night that they were not welcome.
She had already changed and reached now for the canes on the back of the gym. Her hands were shaky and she had to put all her effort in keeping it still. This time she put the music on too, something with lateen rhythm and what she could use for fast moves. It was best not to hear what was going on outside – the past three days made her more than edgy and there was no way she wanted that in here now.
Before starting the usual warming up, she tried to get that shaking out of her hands by twirling the cane as fast as she could till it reminded more a full circle than a simple long shape. She smiled by herself, it was nice to watch, like creating a shell between herself and the world.
“So, you’re here again?”
The cane landed on the mat. That voice could even freeze hell over. She stared at the dark figure at the door.
“What do you want?” she wasn’t gonna be polite, there was no room left for politeness as even seeing him made her feel like growling up a wall using only your fingernails. She kept repeating herself that this was not happening, not again. This time she’ll do the right thing and just walk out. Just like that- what harm could that do? She would just take the first step and then the second… “Is somebody looking for me, is that why you have come?”
“No.”
She stared at him. Why was he here then? To have a revenge? Nice – he was supposed to be one of the best warriors in his clan and he is infested with revenge towards a young miserable human, who happened to hurt him once. How pathetic.
But he didn’t move, not in or out, so he seemed quite harmless, as harmless as a predator can be.
Just get any of your weapon and get it over with, she sighed, but apparently it was much funnier to torture her after they become mates. What an awful way to say about your wife – a mate, like I was some fellow murderous monster.
Her eyes turned back on the cane on the floor. If he was going to stay on put, she might even have a normal practise. Right, and I’m the pope! She was so tense there was no way he wasn’t going to sense it and call her out for another fight.
She took the cane from the floor and walked over the room to the player to silence the music.
“Why do you keep practising that pathetic excuse for a weapon if there are no ways you can use it and survive?”
He could see how her hands formed little fists and her neck that was opposed turned white.
“As I recall I did manage to injure you with it.” Rose smirked, switching the machine off – it was more of a nuisance anyway.
“That was unfair.” He walked closer.
“In war and love, nothing’s fair.”
“Love?”
Great, that mountain had no idea of even basics of human instincts that wasn’t involved fighting. Sad, by this he could have saved lots of ammo and just got people while they were in heat – that’s usually when they act the most unprepared.
“What are you thinking?”
“What?” She looked up at him, when did he get next to me? “Oh, nothing.”
“That thing is not suitable for fighting.” He took the cane from her.
We were there already, she frowned.
“As I told you, it is not meant to kill anyone, only practise.”
“Why practise with something you can’t use?” he observed the wood.
“What do you mean?” She didn’t like where this was going.
“You are probably just as useless with a spear too.”
That was it. She grabbed the stick from him, smashed it against the desk, breaking it in two and laced it into the same hole the first one went. But this time it was no surprise attack and a second later she was flying over the room, a deep roar companying her. The landing was heavy and made the empty room echo.
“If you want to fight, at least use proper weapons!” he yelled and a metallic spear landed next to her, deep in the wooden floor so she had doubts if she could even get it out from there.
“I am not gonna fight with you!” she tried to back off, but another spear landed right where she had just had her left hand. “Are you insane?!?”
“You made the first move!” he clicked, pretty amused. That’s what he shoed himself to be, though he was far from feeling good. She was so tense, he could feel the cold shaking her. There was pretty good chance she wasn’t going to live this fight through and even if he did promise himself not to kill her now, she probably believed he would.
But she still stood up, grabbing the spare and walking back in the circle. He wished he had the scanners with him to see what her true condition was, meaning she was unable to move on her own last night. But here she stood, just seconds away from the fight. What was wrong with this picture?
She didn’t like the choice of using the spares for fight – they were after all tossing weapons. Why did she keep getting these basecly useless things when fighting against him? So much about her promise not to pick fights with him.
“Attack!” he hissed.
“What?” That wasn’t a request or someone…
“Attack!”
Was he teaching her? That could not end nicely. She remembered well, how his father described their training methods to the king. These were more like gladiator fights than practises.
“I will not!” she declared and backed out of the fighting arena.
“I said - attack!”
“I heard you in the first time! I will not!”
“If you back out, you are declared coward and dishonoured!”
If I don’t back out, I will be referred using past tense, she thought agitated, but the argument was strong enough to make her walk back on the mat. He looked fearse and ready for the attack. There was nothing playful in his look, not even slightest. She couldn’t make herself move.
“I told you not to agitate him!” they heard her father's angry voice. “Stop this instant! Go and change your clothes!”
She stared at him with surprise, then at Raijuta’s amused face. I guess that was Rajuta’s reason to provoke her this time.
“You are grounded to your rooms for this evening!” he shouted, face red. When she passed him, he whispered, so Raijuta couldn’t hear. “I thought more of you, daughter! What disgrace!”
She didn’t raise her head, she felt too tired right now and surrendered to his will, even if it seemed unfair right now.

The door behind her closed and she stood in the middle of her empty room, listening the voices moving away. Father knew she would want to sneak out and prevented that with placing two guards right under her balcony. Riona was also told to keep away to give her time to come to her senses.
“Rats!” her voice was still shaking and hands trembling. This had to be from stress, she knew it. Though she had never experienced it before, but it was disgusting and she wanted out. This was too irritating to give her peace to her body, while brain was like looking things aside, unable to do anything.
She started doing rounds on the edge of her carpets. Her heart was pounding like crazy and her palms were sticky from cold sweat.
Suddenly she heard a silent growl from the window.
She jumped, before backing away from the figure that stood now in front of her in full grace. Raijuta was wearing mask, something that strike her as odd considering this was the first time she had seen him having it on. Oh, yes, the first time he had that thing on, too.
“No! Leave! You are the least of my problems right now!” she said fast, still counting the steps between one end of the carpet to another. She felt hot now, though the room was cold. “That is insane,” she whispered to herself, ignoring totally the creature right next to her, “a panic attack?”
Raijuta watched her body swinging past again, looking like going insane, trying to make herself wind while her body temperature was even too low and shaking like insane, though there seemed no reason for that. She was close to crying now, chest raising and falling fast, breathing heavy and speedily.
Her moving on like that started to annoy him and her insane behaviour was also out of place. He put his hand on her path, trying to slow her down, but she only pushed it away, trying to pass it.
“Insane girl,” he roared in his language, grabbed her on his hands and though against her will, landed her on her bed. Her body was totally stiff, nothing what he had touched before, like dead weight.
She wasn’t going to put up with it and tried to pull herself free, eyes filling more and more with tears and body still hot, giving her hard time to breath.
"Hei! What are you…? Let go of me!"
“Stop it!” he hissed, grabbing her hands and pushing them over her head. She tried to scream, but had no power left.
“Quiet down!” he hissed again, laying next to her and taking the mask off. “You’re so intense I could use You as that cane!” He let her hands free, landing his huge arm over her giving her no escaping root.
“Let go of me!” she said with intense fear growling through.
“Be quiet and relax!” he pushed her legs down, closing them under his, they trembled so hard he could feel them against his thighs.
He rest his head on his free hand and closed his eyes, showing there was no where he would go for soon. That woman had to calm down or she would end up with nervous break down. He purred quietly, relaxing himself.
Rose laid down quietly, eyes fixed on the yautja next to her. She could feel sudden improvement in her muscle control. There was indeed no way of getting out of his grasp, she understood it, besides he was cool, coming from outside, easing the heat in her body. Her eyes started to shake and though she fought it, seeing no fun in going blank with him beside her, they still fall totally closed and she passed out.
The tension in her body immediately stopped, making Raijuta open his eyes with surprise. She had fainted. Well, perhaps it was good. He slowly removed his arm and leg, rolling himself off her, but as she almost instantly started shaking again, pulled her back against him, where her body relaxed once more. There was no way he would show himself with this ooman, therefore he made himself clear that as soon as she was alright, he would leave.
He grunted. He didn't have to look far to know what had taken her in such shape. But it was different – the way her body reacted while her mind seemed to be at ease. At the same time, though being in total defence all the time, she didn't act like that at all, giving his father reason to believe like she was the one, who started the attacks, not him. Such dishonesty towards her father surprised him, though he was equally shocked by the straight forth she treated him.
He observed her closer, having time to do so while she was unconscious. She had curvy body, different from slim girly look her sister had and darker hair too. He raised her chin with his finger, observing the neck and the face. Her face was angled, creating a nice frame to fully lipped mouth, straight nose and eyes sharp green. She was well built, rather well trained, too, weak in yautja's standards, but in shape by human standard. And she was warm, like a little pet.
It suddenly hit him that he was actually drawn to this creature. Two times he had shown her what would happen if she was to go through this and three times she managed to strike him with her actions and not once did he saw fear in her eyed before the very end, when she did have a reason to be afraid.
He started to have second thoughts about her, not fully comprehending the situation. He was still against having her as a mate, having much more suitable candidate looked out, but at the same time he started wondering of her being interesting to be around with.
A dull beep sound took his attention away from her, looking at the wrist plate. It was his companion from the ship, who he had talked into coming after him few days ago. At that point, there was no way he was going to stay here for one more day and be pushed around by his father. Fleeing seemed a good idea back then. And now he was lying here, angry at the machine for making such aloud sound, fearing it would wake her up.

Kolm elukaarti

2008-09-09T22:58:00.000-07:00

„Hei! Jätke ta rahule!“ hüüatas Marissa ootamatult, ehmatades kummalisi mehi, kes last kinni hoidsid ja tal noaga sõrmi ähvardasid lõigata.
„Jätke ta rahule!“ hüüdis ta uuesti lähemale tormates. Kaks meestest seisid talle vastu, samas kui teised viis jätkasid oma tegevust.
Hetk hiljem läks Marissal silme eest mustaks. Kui ta teadvusele tuli, lebasid kõik seitse maas ning väike põnn vaatas teda suuril silmil.
„Sul on sarved?“ imestas Marissa kui oli saanud veidi aega teda vaadelda, kuid enne kui ta jõudis paanikasse minna, pistis poisike äkki röökima.
Samas laibad tema ümber olid suurema õuduse allikaks.
„MA ütlesin loitsu?“ imestas ta hirmust värisedes end püsti ajades. „Oi neetud! Ema lööb mu maha selle eest!“ vandus ta.
„Robert?“ kuulsid nad äkki noore mehe häält ja poisi juurde jooksid kolm meest ja naine. Nad kõik sebisid tema ümber, üritades selgeks teha ega poiss vigastada ei saanud.
Äkki tõusis vanuselt keskmine püsti ja vaatas kahtlustavalt tema poole.
Marissa taganes targu, kuid tundis äkki, et ei suuda enam sammugi liikuda.
„Nõid!“ hüüdis äkki naine tema poole vaadates ning kattis poisi kinni.
Mehed justkui ärkasid ning seisid hetkega tüdruku kõrval odad talle suunatud.
„Oojaa- ema lööb mu kohe kindlasti maha.“ Otsustas ta mõttes ning lisas kohe juurde „ma tahaks tõesti praegu suitsu.“
Äkki tundis ta, kuidas ta kotis sebimine hakkas.
„Mitte praegu!“ kuid oli juba hilja ja valge musta kuuega rott pistis oma musta nina kotist välja. Ent nähes ümber nii paljusid odadega tüüpe välgutas ta vaid korra oma valgeid hambaid ja oli hetkega koti põhjas tagasi.
„Sa oled nõid?“ kuulis ta sama häält, mis paistis kuuluvat keskmisele. „Aga miks päästsid sa siis nõidade käest mu venna?“
Marissa silmad läksid suureks. „Mida sa sellega mõtled?“ ei saanud ta aru.
„Need olid deemonikütid…“ alustas noorim meestest.
„Mida?“ Marissa katkestas teda ja unustas täielikult, kus ta oli. „Mitte mu ema ei löö mind maha – mu terve suguvõsa! MA tapsin seitse deemonikütti? Ja kasutasin avalikus kohas loitsu ja…“ ta kahvatas, „kui need olid deemonikütid, siis…“ ta nägu peegeldas täielik meeleheide – oli raske leida ennast raskemast olukorrast.
Mehed tõmbasid odad tagasi, koputasid korra vastu maad ning need muutusid umbes 20 cm pikkusteks keppideks, mida oli lihtne vööle panna.
„Kas Robert peab nüüd tema juurde jääma?“ küsis naine äkki.
Marissale oli see häirekellaks. „Vou,vou, vou! Mida sa sellega mõtled? Ei, ei taha ma mingit last endale sappa!“
„Tal on õigus,“ nõustus vanim tüdrukut pealaest tallani põhjalikult uurides.
„Mul on?“ imestas Marissa, kuid vaikis samal hetkel.
„Robert on veel liiga noor, et sellist kohustust täita.“
„Tõsi!“ noogutas Marissa energiliselt, kuid sai keskmiselt ainult halvakspaneva pilgu osaliseks.
„Sinul pole siin mingit sõnaõigust.“ Teatas vanim.
„Aga,“ tahtis ta juba protesteerides, kuid keskmine raputas hoiatavalt pead ja ta hoidis oma edasise mõttekäigu parem endale.
„Deemoni koodeksi kohaselt peab deemon, kelle päästab keegi teine peale deemoni, asuma selle „millegi“ käsutusse.“ Selgitas noorem, nähes Marissa kimbatust. Tal olid juba märgatavad mügarad sarvede kohal.
„Robert on alles laps!“ segas naine end vahele.
„MA tean!“ ütles vanim kannatamatult „Keegi peab tema asemele tulema.“
„Mida, oodake nüüd – ma ei taha endale deemonit varjuks!“ üritas Marissa asjadele veel uut käiku andes. „Tõesti, pole vaja!“
„Ära sega ennast sellesse.“ Tuli vaikne torin keskmise suunast.
„Aga…“
„Ei!“ keelas keskmine. Marissa prantsatas selle peale nende kõrval asuvale pingile ja lõi käed rinnale risti.
„MA küll ei taha selle nõiaga tegemist teha!“ teatas noorim.
„MA ta…“ alustas Robert juba, kuid ema surus tal suu kinni.
„Ära ütle seda – su sõna seob sind!“
Vanim oli juba suud avamas, kui keskmine talle vahele segas.
„Sind on mujal vaja. Ma võtan ülesande enda peale. Sind ootab troon, mind hetkel mitte midagi.“
Teised paistsid sellega kuidagi väga varmalt nõus olevat ning enne kui üldse midagi öelda sai, nad kadusid.
Keskmine jäi aga tüdruku ette seisma. Marissa uurid nüüd oma uut kaaslast ka lähemalt. Ta nägi välja nagu tavaline inimene – heledad lühikesed juuksed, mis kohati hõbedaselt sillerdasid. Ta oli laiaõlgne normaalse kehaehitusega. Tal olid kollased silmad.
Deemon uuris teda sama suure huviga, ent erinevalt temast üsna tülpinult nagu igavleks.
Äkki tõmbas ta puusalt väikese pistoda. See oli tõmmu ega sädelenud päikese käes nagu ülejäänud asjad, mida ta kandis. KA riietus oli tuhmides toonides, lihtsa lõikega. Pükste ja kerge jakiga, mille alt paistis kõrge kaelusega tumepruun džemper.
„Ulata oma käsi!“
Marissa peitis oma käed istmiku alla ning keeldus.
„Ei ulata!“
Mehe nägu tõmbus pilve. „Ulata oma käsi!“
„Milleks?“ ei andnud tüdruk järgi.
„Et ma saaksin sind jälgida.“
"Mind jälgida? Hull peast! MA ei taha, et mind mingi deemon jälgiks! Et mind hiljem maga lüüa? Ei tule kõne allagi! Mu suguvõsa ajab selle poole tunni pärast ise korda." Ohkas tüdruk ja osutas laipadele, mis nende lähedal lebasid. Enne kui ta arugi sai, tundis ta oma peopesas juba kerget valu. "Kurat, mees! Sa petsid mind!" pahandas Marissa.
Kuid nooruk ei lasknud end sellest häirida, vaid lõikas endalegi haava ning surus Marissa kätt.
Tüdruk tundis käes jääkristalle ja see tegi haiget. Ka mehe silmist oli näha, et ta seda mitte ei nautinud, kuid kätt lahti ta ka ei lasknud.
Marissal läks silme eest mustaks. Hetk hiljem oli ta teadvusel tagasi ning avastas, et nooruk seisab ikka veel tema ees. Ta ohkas kergendatult.
"Sa oled ikka veel kaitseloitsude all?" imestas deemon äkki ning tõmbas käe vabaks.
"Mida sa sellega mõtled?" ei saanud ta aru.
"Kui miski sind ähvardab, vallandub kaitse."
"Mina ei tea – mul läheb lihtsalt silmade ees mustaks." Kehitas tüdruk õlgu. "Aga sina oled veel siin?" oli tema kord imestada.
"See oli liiga nõrk loits – mulle see ei mõju. Pealegi ei saa sa mind enam oma loitsudega mõjutada – olen nende vastu alates tänasest immuunne."
"Tähendab, sa saad mu maha nottida ilma, et ma midagi teha saaksin?" tüdruku nägu värvus punaseks. "Mu perekond tapab mu kohe kindlasti ajaloo kiirema käigu nimel ise ära!"
"Jäta see jutt!" pahandas nooruk juba tõsiselt. "see hakkab juba tüütama!"
Marissa surus huuled kokku.
"Su pere ei pea asjast midagi teadma." Selgitas ta. "Pealegi tulen ma ainult siis kui sa mind ise kutsud. Või kui ma seda vajalikuks pean, JA ma ei löö sind maha, sest see käib täiesti mu au pihta. Pealegi ei saa ma seda teha."
"Voh! See viimane oli kõige tähtsam infotükk!" plaksutas tüdruk kilgates käsi. Noorukile see nalja ei teinud. Äkki jäid tüdruku silmad pidama laipadel, "Mis neist saab?" küsis ta murelikult.
"Pane kõrvad kinni." Selle käsu Marissa täitis.
Hetk hiljem kostus vali kiljuv häälitsus ja ilmus kari rotte ja röövlinde. Üks neist eraldus karjast ning haaras ka Marissast, lüües talle pähe haava, millest hakkas kohe verd immitsema. Ta karjatas. Lind jätkas oma teekonda korjuste poole, kuid teda tabas välgu moodi sähvatus, mis röövli tappis.
Marissa tõstis ehmatusest pilgu ja laskis kätel alla vajuda – talle tundus, et kogu ta ümbrus kisti kaasa sest meeletust kärast, mida raipesööjad tegid. Deemon seisis püsti, kuigi oli veidikese aja eest tema kõrvale istunud ning ta käsi oli suunatud surnud linnule. Äkki märkas ta, et tüdruk oli käed alla lasknud.
"Kata oma kõrvad kinni!" käskis ta, mis tõi Marissa tagasi maa peale ning ta kattis need uuesti.
Paar minutit hiljem oli maapinnal vaid üksikuid vereplekke, kuid närilisi ja laipu polnud mitte kuskil.
"Hei," ta tundis kerget koputust, "sa võid nüüd käed alla lasta."
"Mis see oli, mida sa just äsja tegid?"
Mees ei vastanud talle, vaid seadis oma sammud minekule. Marissa järgnes talle.
"Hei, kes sa oled üldse?" hüüdis ta, "Mis su nimi on? Vähemalt seda võid sa ikka öelda."
"Mu nimi on Dariel." Tegi nooruk käigu pealt kerge kummarduse ning tõttas edasi sammul, millega oli juba üsna raske rütmi hoida.
Marissa peatus.
"Marissa!" hüüdis ta äkki talle järele. Deemon keeras end üllatunult ringi. "Mu nimi on Marissa."
Kerge naeratuse varjund libises üle tülpinud mehe näo, enne kui ta nurga taha kadus.
"Nii!" ohkas neiu ning patsutas seelikule langenud tolmu. Heleroheline teksaseelik oli sellest juba parajalt hallikas. Sellega sobiv roostepruun kampsun oli aga puhas. Ta sättis pikad õrnalt helisevad ketid tagasi nende õige koha peale ja ka smaragdikilluga medaljoni, mille ta juhuslikult oli kusagilt vanaturu leti pealt leidnud. Selle leidmise hetkest saati polnud ta seda kordagi kaelast võtnud.
Ta haaras pingilt oma koti, otsis sealt sigaretid ja läitis ühe.
Rott piilus uuesti kotist välja.
"No oled sina ka ikka vapper!" Ohkas ta uuesti ning tõmbas pahvi. Rott kadus tagasi koti põhja, seekord häbist või niisama. "Ok, lähme koju." Otsustas ta ning suundus mööda tänavat mehest vastassuunas, kott üle õla ja suits näppude vahel kõikumas.
Ta ei kiirustanud eriti minekuga, vaid venitas nii kuidas suutis. Pärnapuud olid oma õitsemisega tipus ning see tegi sellest üsna meeldiva jalutuskäigu linna ainukesel pärnaalleel.
Nende maja asus üsna allee lõpus ning oli kergelt ära tuntav oma sinise katusega.

oOOo

Dariel seisis köögi ukse juures ning toetus vastu kappi. Marissa ei märganud, millal ta tuli, vaid jätkas kartulitelt vee äravalamist ja läitis hetk hiljem juba suitsu.
"Sa ei tohiks suitsetada." Urahtas deemon vastikusest.
Tüdruk tardus hetkeks paigale saates tüübile hävitava pilgu. "Mis siis? Kardad, et suren enne kui jõuad oma kohuste juurdegi asuda?"
"Ei, see on lihtsalt vastik komme." Ta astus edasi ning võttis laua taga istet, mantli serv langemas tooli küljele.
MArissa ühmas selle peale pahaselt ning puhus õhku suitsurõnga, mis mõne hetke pärast õhku haihtus. Darielile see ei meeldinud, kuid ta ei teinud ka midagi, et teda peatada. Marissale valmistas see pettumuse ja ta kustutas vastumeelselt sigareti.
"Sul on jube mõju, tead." Pahandas ta närviliselt suitsule viidates ning naeratas, kuid mehe külm ilme sulatas ka selle naeratuse kiiresti. Ta vaatas rutuga enda ümber, et millestki muust rääkida, kui märkas äkki punast loiku mehe mantli serva all. Ta vaikis hetke ja jälgis ehmunult, kuidas loik järjest suuremaks muutus ning imepisikesed pritsmed järjest suurema kaare selle ümber moodustasid kui uus tilk loigu vankuma pani. Veri kukkus Darieli mantli varjust.
"Mis sul on?" küsis Dariel tüdruku üllatunud nägu piieldes.
"Sa tilgud." Vastas too stoiliselt.
"Mh?"
"Verd! Käisid jahti pidamas ja said haavata?"
Nooruk hüppas püsti ja lükkas vihmakeebi hõlmad eest. Paremal puusal immitses korralikult verd.
"Neetud!"
"Kuidas on üldse võimalik midagi sellist mitte märgata?" vihastas Marissa. "Oota siin! See tuleb kinni siduda."
"Ära vaeva ennast!" hüüdis mees talle järgi, kuid Marissa oli juba aeda jooksnud. "Tšš!" krimpsutas ta veel nägu kui kergelt haava puudutas.
Ei läinud kaua kuni Marissa hunniku värskeid taimi ja helepunase rätiku lauale asetas ning tema kõrvale kükitas, seelik lehvina põrandat katmas.
"Ma olen deemon – mu haavad ei jää nii kergelt kinni. Sa tead seda, Marissa, selleks on vaja…"
"Mul on see olemas. Võta nüüd käsi eest- pole vaja tervet põrandat täis leotada."
Mees laskis haava lahti nagu palutud ning tüdruk haaras laua pealt käärid, et haava ümber veidi suurem ava lõigata. Mehe käsi oli üleni punase vedelikuga koos ja osa sellest tilkus ka tüdrukule seeliku peale.
"Ma ei arvanud, et see nii tõsine on, "imestas deemon. Ta häälest oli kuulda, et ta oli pinges.
"Ehk polegi nii hull kui kohe kinni siduda." Naeratas nõiatar rahustavalt. Ta tõmbas kerge liigutusega riide eest ja paitas kergelt haava, tundes seal väikest teravat tükikest.
"Mm!"
"Suss suhu! See tuleb välja võtta." Ta tõusis ning suundus külmkapi juurde, et võtta sealt jääd.
"Mida? Sa tahad selle ise välja võtta? Oled sa hull?" ahmis ta õhku. "Oled sa midagi…"
Marissa ei teinud tast väljagi, vaid võttis tema kõrval uuesti istet ning surus kuubikud tugevalt vastu mehe nahka, mispeale viimane röögatas, haarates kiiruga tüdruku käte järgi, kuid tabas selle alles pärast teo tegemist.
"…sellist varem teinud?" jätkas Darel kuid vakatas üllatunult välklevat asja tüdruku sõrmede vahel märgates ning lasi ta lahti. Viimane naeratas võidukalt ning sirutas end taimede ja räti järgi. Varsti olid ka need omal kohal.
"Heida nüüd sohvale pikali ja lase taimedel mõjuda."
"Aga su vanemad?"
"Nad ei käi siin enam eriti tihti. Ema on pealegi isaga veel paar päeva Barringtonis ja Silvia sõitis alles paar tundi tagasi oma boyfriendiga nädalalõppu veetma ja Josephina on see nädalavahetus klassiekskursioonil teises riigi otsas. Ta pühkis käed rätikusse kuivaks. "Heida pikali. See taim teeb su jala nõrgaks ja mõne tunni jooksul ka su ülejäänud keha tuimaks ja siis oled niikuinii liikumisvõimetu."
Dariel uuris teda hetke nõutult, kuid tõusis lõpuks ning suundus elutuppa, kus võttis mantli ja relvavöö ära ning heitis helepruuni sohva peale, asetades need käeulatusse.
Tal oli sealt hea vaade köögi peale ning sellele, kuidas Marissa põrandalt verd koristas ja üle jäänud taimed prügikasti saatis. Tüdruk ei pannud teda eriti tähelegi, pöördudes tagasi toidutegemise juurde, mis tal deemoni tulekuga pooleli oli jäänud.
Dariel mõtles kaua, miks ta oli otsustanud tema teenistusse asuda. Eriti kuna tüdruk paistis olevat üks neist, kes ei teadnud nende maailmast praktiliselt mitte midagi, selline noor ja naiivne. Samas märkas ta, et selle viimase kolme kuu jooksul suutis ta õppida meeletult selliseid tarkusi, mida tal läks aastaid, et selgeks saada. Välja arvatud oma võimete kohta, mida tal kõigest hoolimata ei paistnud olevat. Sellest lähtudes muutus ka ta ise tema lähedal vabamaks, taibates et temast ei saa eales sellist vastast, kes suudaks teda rünnata ja paistis, et see oli ka viimane, millele see tuisupea mõtles. Kuid see oligi üks, millest ta aru ei saanud – miks ta iga mõne nädala tagant siis uuesti tüdruku juures tedakontrollimas käis kui tal selleks otsest põhjust ei paistnud olevat?
Rohi hakkas mõju avaldama ja tal oli raske silmi lahti hoida. Jalg ei tuikand enam.
Järgmine, mida ta kuulis, oli läbilõikav särin, mille allikat ta kohe kindlaks ei suutnud teha. Ta silmad olid rasked, kuid ta pingutas neid siiski nii palju avada, et näha, et tegemist oli uksekellaga. See ei tõotanud head.
"Marissa!" hüüdis hele naisehääl ja ta nägi, kuidas kööki hüppas heledatesse toonidesse riietunud nukulik tüdruk.
"Kuss, Alexa!" Marissa sundis sõbranna vaikima ja vedas ta sisse, sulgedes kiiresti tema järel ukse.
"Oh?"
Tore, veel külalisi! Ta pidi ju üksi olema? Pahandas Dariel, kuid tundis et ei suuda end isegi nii palju liigutada, et relvavööd ära peita. Pealegi oli midagi ta jalge peal…
"Mis sa mind kussutad?" päris tüdruk ja astus kiirel sammul edasi, ent jäi siis köögilaua juurde seisma. "Ooo!"
"Ma ütlesin, ole kuss! Ta alles jäi magama!" pahandas Marissa ja tiris sõbranna kaugemale.
"Ja kes see kutt siis on, et tal on privileeg me püha neitsi juures sohval põõnata?"
"Ta on… "
Jah, kullake, kes ma olen? Muigas Dariel küüniliselt, ent taipas siis, et siin polnud midagi naljakat kui peaks välja tulema, et ta nõiatari juures oli. Eriti nii familiaarses poosis.
"Ta on vana sõber…" valetas Marissa kiiresti. "Ta tuli hommikul."
Dariel kuulas tähelepanelikult, kuidas tüdruk seda ütles, veidi kartlikult, häbitundega, ettevaatlikult.
"Ma ei teadnuki, et sul selliseid sõpru on?"
"Mm-me pole üksteist mõnda aega näinud. Mis mõttes selliseid? Kas mul ei tohigi sellised sõpru olla? Oot! Ei, ta ei ole mu…" Ta tundus segaduses olevat.
"Tore! Kas ma võin siis ise talle külje alla pugeda?"
"Sa oled põrunud!"
Dariel avas üllatunult silmad ja vaatas Marissa poole. See oli puhas paanikaga segatud armukadedus, mis sealt kõlas, kuid enne kui Marissa oma hääletoonis selgusele jõudis ning ehmunult tema poole piilus, oli Darielil juba silmad kinni.
"Tasem, sa ise ütlesid, et ta magab!" pahandas nukulik tüdruk. "Miks mitte? Kui sa ise teda ei taha, siis…"
"Ta… ta on ilmselt juba hõivatud." Tegi Marissa punastades kiire tagasikäigu. See veel puudus, et deemon ta sõbrannaga käima hakkaks ja nad mõlemad seetõttu hukatusse saadaks.
"Oled selles kindel?"
"Tal on sõrmus parema käe nimeta sõrmes. Mis sa ise arvad?" purssis tüdruk kiiresti.
Tõsi, Dariel kandis seal sõrmust, kuid ta oli deemon – kristlikud dogmad tema kohta ei kehtinud, samas pani see teda muigama kui osavalt tüdruk sellises talle ebasobivas olukorras ennast välja keerutas. Ja et ta sellist kõrvalist fakti mäletas.
"Sa tahad öelda, et sa pole tema käest küsinud?" imestas sõbranna üle laua meest piieldes.
"Ei tulnud jutuks."
"Kas ta teab, et sa oled nõid?" küsis ta äkki.
"Jah, teab küll."
"Ja ta on sellega nõus, et sa nõid oled?"
Marissa sonis vaikselt, et mis tal üle jääb, kuid pakkus, et see pole kunagi probleemiks olnud.
"No sel juhul, kullake, paneksin sellele teisele koti pähe ja napsaksin ta ise ära."
"Ära ole loll, Alexa!"
"Sa värised ju kui sa tast räägid – siin on rohkem kui puhas sõprus mängus!"
"Ma ütlesin, et ära tõsta häält! Ta magab, see ei tähenda, et ta ei kuule!"
"Las siis kuuleb."
"Mida?"
"Las siis kuuleb, et sul on tema vastu ka tunded."
"Ma ei ole seda öelnud!"
"Aga sa ei eita ka seda!"
"Ma…Ole vait! Tahad teed? Kui ei, siis oleks sul parem lahkuda."
"Tuled koos minuga?"
"Ei, ma jään parem siia."
"Siis paku mulle teed."
"Aga seda teemat enam üles ei tõsta!" hoiatas Marissa ja pani teevee tulele, enne kui Darieli poole suundus, et maha libisenud tekk, mis ähvardas nooruki jalahaava paljastada, tagasi tõsta.
Kohe kui ta selle üles tõstis, märkas ta silmanurgast nooruki kätes kerget tuksatust, mis ta tähelepanu noormehe silmadele suunas. Need olid pooleldi lahti ja jälgisid teda tõsiselt. Marissa punastas, ent tõstis teki siiski tagasi oma kohale. Kohe kui ta keha enam mehe nägu ei varjanud, vajusid need tagasi kinni nagu magaks ta sügavalt.
"Kuule," uuris Alexa kui Marissa kööki tagasi jõudis, "oled sa kindel, et ta deemon ei ole?"
Poleks saanud rohkem naela pead tabada.
"Jah…" venitas ta kimbatuses. "Miks…"
"Ta näeb kuratlikult hea välja ja oled sa kunagi ühtegi sellist normaalset meest näinud?"
"Alexa!"
"Mis on? Ma ainult ütlen, ma mõtlen."
Ja mina tahan maa alla vajuda, otsustas Marissa.
"Tead, ma ei tunne end hästi…" alustas ta tõsiselt ja enam mitte nii valetades, sest iga Alexa märkus niitis ta hingest rohkem kui ta oleks tahtnud ja ainuüksi teadmine, et Dariel kuulas sohva peal kõike pealt, tekitas tas veelgi suurema iivelduse.
"Sa oled tõesti kahvatu. Tahad, toon sulle ingverijuurt?"
Ei, see oli viimane, mida ta praegu nuusutada tahtis. See võis küll seedimist parandada, kuid see ei vähendanud selle taime vastikut lõhna, mida ta ei talunud.
"Ei…"
"Oled kindel?"
Marissa noogutas. "Ma lähen heidan parem pikali, ma ei tunne end üldse hästi."
"Olgu, aga siis lähme homme randa, eks?"
Ah selle pärast see plika siia tuligi, mõtles Dariel neid varjatult jälgides. Ja kui Marissa veel nii hästi valetab, et ennast haigena näidata…
Tüdruk vaid noogutas ja sõbranna lahkus.
Kohe kui ta uksest väljas oli, vajus Marissa laua taha tagasi ning jäi tühjalt üht valget tuvikuju põrnitsema. Ta teadis, et kui ta ümber pöörab, peab ta sellega tegelema, kuid ta ei tahtnud seda. Selle asemel keeras ta end piisavalt, et jääda küljega tema poole, kuid vältis tema poole vaatamist.
Ta istus seal päikeselaigus oma pool tundi, keskendudes pastaka keerutamisele, mille ta juhuslikult näppu oli saanud ega öelnud sõnagi.
Deemon jälgis teda seal pea sama kaua. Ta mõtles pingsalt mida öelda – ühelt poolt oli ta oma elu jooksul paljusid pikalt saatnud, kuid millegipärast ei tahtnud ta seda praegu. Ka ei tundnud ta samas tahtmist end tüdruku arvelt veidi lõbustada, sest hetkel teda seal niimoodi kurvana istumas nähes oli ta kindel, et see hukatus oleks ka talle saatuslik.
"Marissa," hüüdis ta teda lõpuks vaikselt, andes tüdrukule aega, et too oma transist ärkaks ja tema poole vaataks, "Marissa!"
Marissa kuulis teda juba esimesel korral, kuid üritas end veenda, et ei pannud seda tähele. Teist korda oma nime kuuldes ei olnud enam kahtlustki, et Dariel teda kõnetas.
"Jah?" küsis ta ettevaatlikult, jättes pastaka rahulikult laua peale.
"Ennusta mulle."
Tüdruk vaatas teda üllatunult. "Ma ei usu, et see praegu kõige parem mõte oleks…" alustas ta, üritades sellest pääseda, ent Dariel raputas pead.
"Ennusta mulle." Kordas ta oma palvet.
Ta vaatas, kuidas Marissa end ohates aeglaselt toolilt üles ajas ja vastumeelselt elutoa valge kapi juurde läks, kust võttis rohelisest marmorist raiutud raske kirstukese, millega ta nüüd lauakese juurde tuli. Kui oli üks võimalus tüdruku tõelistes tunnetes selgusele jõuda, oli see nüüd ja praegu ning nende kaartidega, ta oli lihtsalt nii pinges, et kaardid ei saanud muud öelda kui vaid tüdruku enda tundeid. Seda siis kui ta ei osanud veel enda tundeid vaigistada, kuid ka selleks juhuks oli Darielil plaan valmis.
Marissa võttis madala laua taga põrandal istet ning hakkas pakki kergelt ringi lappama. Ta ei vaadanud kordagi Darieli poole, teades, et see segaks teda rohkem kui olnuks vaja.
"Mis su küsimuseks on?" alustas ta pärast paariminutilist segamist rahunenult.
"Ma hoiaks selle pigem enda teada."
"Olgu." Ta tõstis pilgu pakilt ja vaatas talle sügavalt otse silma, mõtles siis hetke, noogutas ja uuris, mitu kaarti ta soovib tõmmata.
"Kuus." Vastas Dariel, lükates end vastumeelselt mõnusast poosist istuli.
Esimene oli tüdruku nägemuse kaart.
Marissa laotas paki lehvikuna tema ette.
"Tõmba." Käskis Dariel kindlalt.
Marissa muigas. Esimene kaart oli Kurat.
"Võimukas mees. Lased end orjastada, aga ainult selle pärast, et ise seda lubad."
"Tõmba." Segas Dariel vahele, enne kui ta jätkata jõudis. Südame kaart.
"Peekrite seitse. Sa ei suuda otsusele jõuda."
"Järgmine." Ta laskis end tagasi vastu seljatuge. Igatsuse kaart.
"Tugevus. Kindel sõber?"
"Olgu. Järgmine."
"Tead, sa võtad oma kiirustamisega kogu võlu…"
Dariel raputas pead. "Järgmine" nõudis ta, kuid unustas selle märkida, tüdruk ajas ta segadusse.
Marissa ei naeratanud enam nagu ta seda ennist tegi, vaid muutus kurvemaks ning tõmbas uue kaardi.
"Keppide kümme." Ütles ta tõsiselt kui kaardi enda ette lauale pani. "Räägib juhtimisest ja koormast, mis see endaga kaasa toob. Soovitab seda jagada."
See ei käinud Marissa kohta, taipas Dariel liiga hilja, kuid katkestas tüdruku selgituse ja nõudis uut, kindlustades, et ta kindlasti seekord endale mõttes märkis, et tegemist on, kuid Marissa jõudis tast ette.
"Karskus. Tasakaalu vajadus, soovitab võtta erinevad kaks jõudu oma elus ja need tasakaalu viia."
"Järgmine!"
Mida…?
"Keppide äss. Uus säde loomises, kires, energia."
"Järgm…"
"Peekrite äss! Sa tahad rohkem kui sulle seni on pakutud. Nii! Valmis!"
Ta tõmbas kiire liigutusega kaardid tagasi kokku, enne kui Dariel midagi rohkemat jõudis öelda ning toppis need tagasi karpi, laksates selle valusalt tagasi kokku.
Marissa läks närvi, talle ei meeldinud kui keegi niimoodi teda tagant kiirustas.
"Marissa…"
"Kui sa isegi ei kuula, mida kaardid sulle ütlevad, siis miks seda üldse teha?" pahandas ta ja viis kasti tagasi kapi peale, ent nägi siis, et oli ennustuseks välja valitud kaardid laua peale jätnud.
See ei olnud see, mida Dariel saavutada tahtis, kuid talle hakkas kaarte uurides selgemaks saama, mis seal kirjas oli.
Tüdruk krahmas kaardid laua pealt pihku ja jäi neid äkki ehmunult jõllitama, kuid lükkas need siis pakiks kokku ja viis samuti kasti tagasi.
Kas täna sai veel miski valesti minna? Mõtles Dariel, kui ukse peal kõlas veel üks koputus.
Nad vahetasid ehmunult pilke, kuid kui Dariel tõusta tahtis, andis ta märku, et ta sinna istuma jääks.
"Sul on täna ikka…"
"Ma ei ole kedagi kutsunud!"
"Kus mu…"
"Mantli all!" hüüdis ta juba ukse poole joostes. "Jäta see!" pahandas ta ja tõmbas juba ust lahti. "Onu!" hüüatas ta üllatunult.
"Marissa," tervitas 60mndates mees tõsiselt. "Kas ma tohin sisse tulla?"
Marissa astus ehmunult sammu tagasi. See oli halb. Onu Bran oli lõuna piirkonna üks parimaid deemonikütte.
"Su ema palus, et ma su juurest läbi tuleksin sel ajal kui nad Barringtonis on, ta arvas, et s… Tere?"
Marissa üritas viisakalt naeratada, kuid ei suutnud kübetki naeratust näole manada. Oli õhkõrn lootus, et nende teed varem ristunud polnud.
Kaks meest seisid vastakuti ja uurisid üksteist tõsiselt, üks teadlikumalt kui teine.
"Tere." Ulatas Dariel vanamehele käe, mille see Marissa üllatuseks vastu võttis. "Cary Dirk."
"Bran Duffy. Marissa?"
"Jah, onu?"
"Veidike selgitust ei teeks paha?"
"Miks kõik arvavad, et ma pean kohe selgitusi jagama kui mu korteris on meessoost külaline?" küsis tüdruk pahaselt, kuid teenis selle peale onult sügavalt halvakspaneva pilgu. "Ta on vana sõber, tuli mulle hommikul külla."
"Tõesti?"
Natuke abi kuluks ära! Mõtles tüdruk pahaselt, samas üritades säilitada võimalikult puhta südametunnistuse jälgi. Hea oli, et onu talle väiksena seletanud oli, mis inimese puhul välja annab, et ta valetab. Nüüd oli seda hädasti vaja, sest onu oli ekspert selliste asjade väljaselgitamisel.
"Kust te üksteist siis tunnete?"
"Me töötasime koos välikohvikus aastaid tagasi."
Vanamees paistis seda uskuvat, kuid Marissa silmis oli imestus. Kust Dariel seda teadis, et ta välikohvikus kunagi töötas?
"Sattusin siiakanti, seega otsustasin tema juurest läbi tulla ja head uudist rääkida."
"Tõesti?"
"Jah, Cary just abiellus." Naeratas tüdruk süüdimatult ja tõmbas deemoni käe ette, et onule seal säravat ühtlast hõbedast rõngast näidata.
"Oo, õnnitlused noorpaarile." Naeratas onu kergendatult ja surus uuesti tal kätt. "Aga sa peaksid kindlasti pikali heitma, kullake." Pöördus ta tagasi tüdruku poole.
"M-miks?" jõudis ta veel küsida kui ta uuesti Darielit kõnetas.
"Ma loodan, et te enam kauaks ei jää."
"Ei, varsti ongi aeg minema hakata – rongi peale vaja jõuda."
"Onu? Miks ma pikali peaksin heitma?"
"Ma nägin Alexat," vastas ta tüdruku ehmunud küsimusele, "ta rääkis, et oled täna kuidagi kahvatu ja arvas, ehk hakkad haigeks jääma. Tõepoolest, kullake, sa oled veidi kahvatu."
"M-ma siis heidan pikali…" lubas Marissa, silmad suured kui tõllarattad ning veel vaid lehvitas onule järgi kui see hüvasti jättes trepist alla läks.
Kohe kui mees kuulde kaugusest välja jõudis, hingas Marissa sügavalt välja.
"Ma kartsin, et te olete juba kohtunud…" sosistas ta kergendatult ja tõmbas ukse enda ees kinni.
"Ei, siiani on õnnestunud teda vältida." Ta mõtles hetke. "Miks ma abielus olen?"
See viimane küsimus tuli veidi ootamatult kuigi ta teadis, et millalgi peab see esile kerkima.
"S-sest ma vihjasin Alexale, et oled abielus?"
"Miks?"
"Ära hakka palun, on niigi halb, et ta sind nägi, kuid…"
"Ta tundus päris armsake."
Marissa hingas sügavalt sisse ja välja, sest see kõlas nii loogiliselt labaselt, et ajas tal hinge täis. Muidugi oli ta armas, Alexa oli alati kena ja armas, eriti kui ta pidi olema temasuguse müürilillekese kõrval.
"Kes? Onu või? Alexa? Eks siis kutsu ta välja – tal ei ole niikuinii mingit moraalipiiri abielumeeste ees." Ohkas ta ja keerutas end tema ja ukse vahelt välja.
"Võib-olla peaks tõepoolest…" Tahtis ta nähvata, ent sai õigel hetkel sõnasabast kinni. "Ma siis teen kiire abielulahutuse." Vastas ta tõsiselt nähes kui morniks see Marissa oli muutunud, tuuseldades mööda elutuba ringi patju kloppides ja tal peal olnud päevatekki kokku lappides.
Tal käes olnud padi langes mürtsuga tagasi toolile.
"Anna andeks." Ütles ta tõsiselt. "Ma sattusin paanikasse."
"Ikka juhtub, elad üle."
"Sina ka?"
Ta naeratas. Ta polnud eales kuulnud, et keegi ka tema käekäigu vastu siirast huvi üles näitab, olgu see siis pealegi vaid tühine küsimus. "Võib-olla..." naeratas ta.
Marissa jätkas toas tiirutamist, haarates siit-sealt patju, mille ta siis armutult kohevaks kloppis ning hakkas pleedi kokku lappama.
Dariel jälgis teda mõnda aega vaikides.
"Sa oled selle tühise asja pärast endast nii väljas…" üritas ta asja siluda, seda naljaks pöörates. See oli hale katse.
Tüdruku selg tõusis ja vajus kui ta püüdis oma rahu tagasi saada. Midagi tuli teha, et sellest lollist situatsioonist välja tulla.
"Kas need taimed mõjuvad veel?" küsis ta lõpuks deemonilt mitteütlevalt.
"Taimed?" kogu selle segaduse ajal olid jala ümber seotud taimed tal ammu meelest läinud. Ta tõmbas räti järsu liigutusega lahti, puistates põranda täis närbunud lehti. Haav ei veritsenud enam, kuid oli turses.
"Saialilleõied ajavad selle paistetuse alla." Ütles Marissa ja kummardus maast sinna tekkinud sodi üles korjama. "Viskan need minema ja toon aiast mõned õied…"
"See läheb ise ka alla." Segas Dariel vahele ja pühkis ka viimased lehed haava pealt ära. "Miks sa tegelikult nii närviline oled?"
Marissa tõstis lehed laua peale.
"Ma ei tea…" valetas ta kiiruga enne kui nooruki käest räti ära napsas ja selle servi uuesti kinni hakkas sõlmima. "Ma pole oma perekonnale eales nii palju valetanud…" sosistas ta tusaselt.
"Kas see vale on põhjusega?" küsis Dariel tõsiselt.
Marissa silmad läksid suureks. "Mis see siia puutub?"
"Kui sa valetad oma perele, et oma nahka mingi lolluse eest päästa, siis ei ole vale õigustatud, kuid kui selle taga on hea põhjus…"
"Vaat kes räägib!"
Darieli nägu tõmbus pilve.
"Sa oled kaheksateist! Sa peaksid juba teadma, et valetamine käib elu juurde!"
"Seitseteist."
"Mida?"
"Ma olen seitseteist. Aga sellest hoolimata ei pea ma seda õigeks – see kisub juba üle mõistuse keeruliseks."
"Sa ju valetasid selle kohta, et sa Roberti päästsid?"
Marissa raputas pead. "Ei, ma ei ole seda teemat puudutanudki, nad otsivad siiani süüdlasi."
"Ma tean – nad on viimased kolm kuud oma jahilkäike tihendanud." Ta puudutas reiehaava.
"Ma peaksin neile ütlema, nad jätaks teid siis rahule…"
"Sa oled ikka õilsameelne."
"Aga sa ise just ütlesid, et…"
"Asjaolud on muutunud. Kui sa praegu lähed ja ütled, et see oli sinu kaitseloits, mis seitse meest pikali lõi, ei too sa vaid endale probleeme kaasa vaid kogu oma kallile suguseltsile. Lisaks…" ta ei osanud mingit teist põhjust välja tuua. "Nad ei jäta meie küttimist nii või teisiti, nad ainult kasutaks sind söödana, et mind mõjutada ja seeläbi mu perekonnale külje alla ujuda."

"Teie ka!"
"Jaa, aga mina tean, kes nendes sõjakäikude põhjustaja on ja peab ütlema, et kuna alama astme deemoneid notitakse viimasel ajal väga palju, ei lähe sinu kaitsmine sellest üldse kergemaks."
"M-minu juurde ei ole keegi tulnud…"
"Sest peale mu pere ei ole keegi sellest veel teadlik, kuid mu vend kavatseb sellele lõpu teha ja kutsus ülehomseks su onu ja veel mõned rahu eesmärgil kohale."
Marissa läks iga ta öeldud sõnaga näost aina valgemaks.
"Kui mu vend on sama range kui varem, ootab sind nii mitu surma kui mitu deemonit oma elu on kaotanud. Ilmselt lisaks veel need seitse. Hmm, polegi seda… Marissa?"
Tüdruk ei olnud isegi liigutanud, vaid istus seal, käed nõrgalt rüppe vajunud.
"Ja mina muretsesin suitsetamise pärast." Üritas ta, kuid kurk oli nii kuiv, et sealt tuli vaid kähinat.
"Hinga nüüd! Miks te alati nii hellahingelised olete?" pahandas ta teeseldes ja tõstis tüdruku tooli peale istuma, enne kui klaasi vett tõi.
"Kas sa taipad ka, mida sa mulle praegu räägid?" küsis Marissa meeleheitlikult klaasist juua üritades.
Ta põrnitses tüdrukut mõni hetk kohmetunult, puhkes siis südamest naerma ja kallistas teda tugevalt, laskmata tal ennast lahti vingerdada kuni ta tema süleluses vaikseks jäi ja sosistas: „Elu ei ole nii mustvalge, kullake – ma ei lase neil sulle midagi teha, mida ma ise ei teeks!”
Marissa kortsutas kulmu, õõtsudes ta kallistuse rütmis ja puhkes siis sama südamlikult naerma. „Teisisõnu nülid mu elusalt, jooksutad mööda aiaväravat ringi ja söödad tükk haaval kanadele?”
Järgmisel hetkel tabas teda kerge soe suudlus põsele. „Aga muidugi!”
„No seda on tore teada.” Naeratas tüdruk meelitatult.
„Nüüd korista siit oma kondid” hüppas Marissa püsti. „Ma tahan magama minna!”

oOOo

„Ma kiirustasin sind.” Lausus ta pärast pikka pausi, mida täitsid sulpsatuste rida kui kivid ta kingaotsaga kokku puutumise tulemusena jõevette kadusid. Vihma tibutas ja see kergitas muda hõngu. Sügis oli nüüdseks kogu oma hiilguses ja vihm, mis halli loorina üle pargi suundus, ujutas üle kõik, kes julgesid vastupidist väita.
Marissa ei vastanud, vaid jälgis rõngaid, mis mööda vett suurenesid. Ta ei saanud täpselt aru, mis osas ta seda kiirustamist mõtles.
„Kui sa mulle kaarte panid.” Lisas ta kiiruga ja hingas siis sügavalt sisse. „Ma tahaks, et sa mulle uuesti kaarte paneks.”
„Ma ei tea kas see on hea mõte…”
Ta ajas end sirgu ja peitis käed taskusse enne kui tagasi vastu reelingut toetas. „Palun?”
„Sellest tuleb põrgu.” Mõtles Marissa pead vangutades, et hakkas siiski vaikselt minema. „Olgu!” ühmas ta tasaselt. Väsimus hakkas tema üle võimust võtma ja ta ei soovinud oma ülevaolekut enam millegi äkilisega rikkuda.
Nad kõndisid paarkümmend minutit vaikides Marissa maja juurde.
„Tule sisse.” Avas neiu lukustatud ukse ja viskas võtmed pimedas toas köögilauale. „Mantli saad siia riputada.” Osutas ta nagile ja pani elutoas põlema ühe lugemiseks mõeldud põrandalampidest. Ta juhatas Darieli edasi talle käega näidates, et ta diivanil istet võtaks ,enne kui kummutilt valge kirstukese võttis ja selle elutoa madala laua äärde tõi. Kogu protsess toimus täielikus vaikuses.
Ta kükitas laua ette ja hakkas kaarte segama. Ta ei küsinud talt seekord, mis asjus ta pakiga nõu soovis pidada või midagi, vaid istus seal, keskendunult pakki läbi käies. Õigemini, ilma igasuguse keskendumiseta, sest ta pea oli tühi kõigest siin maailmas toimuvast.
Lõpuks, paar minutit hiljem, ta lõpetas ja asetas paki lauale.
„Ulata oma kirjutamise käsi.” Palus ta vaevukuuldavalt ja võttis kinni ta ulatatud paremast käest, pehmelt sõrmedega üle ta peopesa joostes enne kui selle paki kohale sättis ja uuris, kas ta tunneb, et pakk on tema jaoks valmis. Kaardid õhkusid soojusest, mida Marissa oli neisse valanud ja ta noogutas.
Tüdruk isegi ei naeratanud, võttis vaid esimesed kolm kaarti ja asetas need lauale, uuris neid siis hetke ja alustas: „Sul on üks mõte, mis hoiab sind kinni. Ma näen kaksikuid, armastust. Idee on enne armastust… See kinnisidee on pigem nagu… mõte armastusest? Sa kahtled iseendas.” Ta võttis järgmised kolm kaarti. „Oled kinni, kardad end eristada, su süda on valmis, ent see ei ole hetkel otsustav.” Ta kortsutas arusaamatult kulmu ja sirutas käe uue kaardi järele. „Sa nagu ei oleks oma südame valikuga rahul…” Ta avas seitsmenda kaardi. „Keegi vanem mees aitab sul otsusele jõuda, kuid seda mitte sinu heaolu silmas pidades.”
Ta ei võtnud rohkem kaarte ega öelnud ka enam midagi.
„Ma ei usu, et see on vanem härrasmees, kes aitab mul otsusele jõuda.” Sosistas ta äkki, rebestades vaikuse. „Pigem on see olnud noor inimene.”
„Noorus on kõigi hädade põhjustajaks, ehk ei peaks sa teda niipalju kuulama.”
Ta muigas. „Ma ei saa – ta on mu elus praegu ainus mõistuse hääl.” Sosistas Dariel. „kell on palju – ma peaksin minema hakkama. Aitäh.”
Marissa noogutas. Samal hetkel täitus elutuba ereda laevalgusega, mis nad mõlemad hetkeks pimestas.
„??” oli kõik, mida võis keskealise naise näolt välja lugeda. Marissa nägu oli pigem õuduse grimass.
Dariel toibus esimesena „No see on nüüd küll tore.” Pomises ta pahaselt, ent lehvitas siis tervituseks käsi. „Tervist!” ja peitis need kohe tagasi püksitaskutesse.
Marissa oli näost valge, ent hakkas siiski kaardipakki kokku panema.
„Vabandust segamise pärast,” alustas naine sikutades hommikumantlit koomamale. Ta pilk rändas kaartidele tüdruku käes. „Marissa, sa ei ole veel nii kogenud, et privaatseid kaardilugemisi teha.”
Tüdruk värvus hetkega nöost punaseks, vältides Darieli uurivat pilku. Ta teadis, et sellest tuleb probleeme ja nii ka juhtus. Tüüpiline.
„Vabandust,” segas Dariel kiiresti vahele, et olukorda parandada, „mina palusin tal seda teha. Kuulsin, et ta õpib seda ja…”
Mõlema naise pilk oli nüüd tema peale naelutatud.
„Alexa rääkis?” spurtis ta kiirest – selline ootamatud inimlikud valed olid tõesti kiired tulema ja ta mõistis äkki väga hästi, kuidas ta ühtäkki „abiellus” – „Ma loodan, et ta midagi valesti ei teinud? Me oleme ju vanad sõbrad…” ta nägu vääris oskarit ehmumise teesklemise eest. „Ega ta nüüd pahandusse satu?”
„Ei, ei muidugi mitte.”
„Ses mõttes, et ma tean juba ammu, et …” jätkas ta süütut lahmimist, kuni pilk Marissa meeleheitlikule pearaputusele ta suu lõplikult sulges. „Igatahes, vabandust. Kell on ka juba hiline, ma peaksin minema hakkama.”
Ema noogutas ja soovitas Marissal noormees ukseni saata.
„Anna andeks, et ta peale sattus,” sosistas tüdruk nukralt kui välisuks varjas rõdul toimuvat., „ma…”
„Ära muretse,” muigas ta,. „Usu mind, hommikul mäletab ta minust vaid seda.” Naeratas ta pehmelt ja kummardus, suudeldes ta pehmeid huuli. „Mu väike nõid…” mõmises ta hinge alla ja pöördus minekule.

Hide-and-seek at the Blue house

2008-06-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

It was nice morning and the Sun was shining at its best. I dragged the green bathrobe around my bed warm body, shaped a bun out of my hair and made my way in kitchen to brood some coffee for my foggy thinking. The day has no beginning without the morning coffee I always knew.

After putting the kettle on the stove I allowed myself the luxury of enjoying the serene sea view from my window. It had a nice frame made of willows that shook their branches right outside my white window. They had lost most of their leafs, but that didn’t seem to bother me at that point- it was still beautiful.

I heard the water boiling, so I stretched my hand out to get the coffee can from the white shelf. I could feel how life force started coming back in me after few zips of that drink of ecstasy and as usually that also brought an appetite for a bit more solid food, so I pushed the pan on the stove and opened the cupboard under it, took some bread from there without looking and traveled over the floor to also gather some tomatoes and cucumbers. I loved bread with cucumbers, especially when I had made the bread myself yesterday.

I had already finished the breakfast and was about to put the bread back in the cupboard when I suddenly heard an alarming snuggling voice from the same place. I waited for a second to think through all the options of things and animals I might come across when opening the doors, but decided there was no point of pushing it more in the future, opened the doors in one quick move and… screamed as lowed and hard as my lungs allowed.

There was Mathew, his fierce curls shining in all autumn colours, blinking his two huge green eyes.

„Hush! Close that mouth of yours already!” he hissed and dragged the doors closed again.

I fell on the stool next to the table, stunned by that remarkable site. I sat there till I smelled something burning and rushed to save the pan from the stove. I emptied it on the yellow plate.

„Wait!” it suddenly came to me – what on earth was an almost thirty year old man doing in my tiny kitchen case? I pulled the doors open once more.

„Mathew! What are you doing here?” I tried to sound angry when kneeling in front of him.

„Shut up! Girls at your age should already know how to keep quiet!” he growled and tried to close the doors, but I didn’t let him.

„If you don’t come up with a bloody good excuse for being here right now, I swear…” I shouted halfheartedly, but still angry to find him there.

“I’m hiding! Doesn’t it look that way?” he bristled at me and pinced my leg so hard I had to pull it away and the doors fell shut.

I rose without word, smoothing the skin that got hurt. I didn’t bother playing on with the doors, but asked loud so he could hear me through the doors as well. “And why are you hiding in there?”

“Mh?” He couldn’t make out my question well through the white oak, so I repeated it and added on soft voice: “Chastity threw you out or what?”

“Mh? What? No, nothing like that! We’re playing hide-and-seek!” he protested.

I was already shaping my lips to acknowledge him and say “Aaa!” and sincerely laugh, but shut a moment later, appalled by the answer. “Come again?”

“I’m playing hide-and-seek. ”

I thought long and hard about what to answer or ask, because his words gave me shivers. I pulled the doors open one last time and asked as loudly as I could to maintain the angry sound: “And that is why you are hiding here, in my house, in my kitchen case?”

“Well… daaah!”

“Lord, help me…” I sighed and squat down. “Please be so kind and explain me now, from the beginning, why would an almost seven feet tall man try to jam in in my only three feet tall cupboard?” I consciously left out the age as after today I wasn’t sure myself if a man in his late twenties is adult enough to understand the contradiction he created.

“Because we are playing hide-and-seek!” he repeated, hurt now like a little child who’s world view you are not even trying to accept.

“You already told me that, yes.”

“So?”

“But why in my kitchen case?”

“Because the rules say so!”

I knew we didn’t get far with such pace. “Oh, the rules say so?”

“Yes…” he drawled, not liking what my voice sound like.

I on the other hand did like how it sound and after stretching myself I announced with fat voice: “If only rules say so, then get out of my closet, now!”

“WHAT? You can’t do that! NO, NO and one more simple no!” he jammed in the walls of the cupboard even more than I thought possible – there was no way to get him out there now.

“Why?” I demanded.

“’Cause if Bertram gets my shiny ass before lunch, he’ll smack me with the knout!”
The situation just got my flavor all over it. I cocked my ears and took a seat on the stool.

“I’m listening!”

“ You do know the basics of the game, don’t you? You seek yourself a good hiding place and sit there till time set in the beginning.” He sounded too excited for my pleasure.

I had to scratch the back of my head, where the scalp starts – did I speak with a grown-up or a child? “Or else the it will knout you?”

“Exactly!”

“Okay.. And you are in my closet, because…?”

“Because today we’re hiding in your house!” he sounded as innocent as a kitten.

My heart skipped few beats – all of them? In my house? “And you’re doing it, because…?”

“Not following.”

“Why are you doing it in my house?”

“’Cause the cast set on your house?”

“Cast?” I must of looked very discouraging, because he held back for a second to rethink his next answer.

“Well, so we wouldn’t have to die in boredom, we cast loges, in which house we hide and then we… hide! And then comes meany Berty and smacks anyone he can lay his hands on, with the knout!”

It was freaky to see how his eyes started glowing when he spoke about it. Not to add up with his little play I made myself as indifferent as I could manage and asked slowly: “Am I only one, who doesn’t know about your hide-and-seek?”

“Nope!”

“Really?” I could smack myself for the joy I felt – for once I wasn’t the only fool, who wasn’t oblivion about what went around. “Who else don’t know?”

“Addam.” The answer was so brief I thought I heard it wrong.

“Addam?” After curtain happenings I thought Addam knew everything that went on on the island. Thank God I hadn’t put money on it.

“He did come up with the idea,” he explained, “but he doesn’t know we still play it.” He shrugged.

“I’m not sure I understand you…”

“Well, he offered –that’s three years now? – on one very stormy night that we could play hide-and-seek and so we did. And he said, that to make it more interesting, we could do it in different houses and then we did and then Bertram posted that he will not hide in anywhere or anything and then Addam made this knout out of the handkerchief and said that he can be the Knout and that he can smack anyone he can find, but he does it always with such power and it’s painful and so…” he stopped his recall for a moment like he’d heard something, but as nothing followed, he continued: “Addam doesn’t know we still play it when we get bored.”

“How’s that?” I pushed another piece of bread in my mouth – the hunger won over the exciting story.

“We leave his house out from the casting.”

“How lovely!” I announced ironically and closed the doors for him. I took the palte from the table and took it to the sink, where I washed it and was about to dry my hands, when I heard him again snuggling in better position. “How long will you stay there?” I asked.

“Till midday?”

I looked at the clock, it was only minutes after nine.

Then suddenly we heard yelling from the stairs and footsteps as a pack of elephants had found the way in – I had to jump after my lovely yellow vase with dandelions to keep it from shaking.

“Don’t even think about it!” that voice definitely belonged to Bertram. “We are on an island if you haven’t forgotten!! I will get you eventually!”

I suited myself better against the cupboard, showed the hands crossed over my chest and waited him to get to me with his knout.

I didn’t have to wait long, after a minute or so the kitchen door flew open and panting Bertram, in his wonderful new green suit with red flowers stitched on, landed in. It took me one look in his blood thirsty eyes to pull away from his way and jerked downwards the kitchen case.

“Ahaa!” he yelled like a pirate and hit the knout in motion. “Come out, ya punk! Come to daddy!”

The doors of the cupboard opened fast and Mathew, faster then wind, stumbled out, around my table and tried to run away, screaming, begging for mercy, but was rewarded with a smack on his ass.

“Hey, that hurt!” Mathew protested, but was running the next moment for his life.

“Come to daddy and get your candy!” Bertram didn’t give in and I stretched out to catch my white lamp that seemed to be in danger of being knouted off the sealing, but the moment Mathew went, the knout found peace on Bertram’s hands too.

Before going he turned to me and, after a quick look around, smiled openly. He grabbed for my hand, bowed slightly and kissed it.

“Thank you!” and he was gone.

I waited till the sounds disappeared in distance and made my way up the stairs to change my clothing.

“Shoot! What if Mathew wasn’t the last one?” Just in case I made sure to look in the wardrobe too. And bathroom. And all other places that could or could not fit a man in them. To think – all this punch, in my house!

Mullimäng

2008-03-30T14:25:00.002-07:00

Hüüdsin paar korda koeri, kuid ümberringi olid vaid kummituslik linnulaul. Mind ümbritsesid heledad hallituse tooni hajusad varjud ja kujud.
Nägin koeri lähedal põõsastes ja avasin juba suu, et neid uuesti hüüda kui üks õõvastav vaatepilt mu sinna samasse terrassi kõrvale naelutas – täpselt mu silmade kõrguselt hõljus mu silme eest läbi kümmekond seebimulli.
Vaatasin neid, kananahk ihul ja süda jätmas järjest lööke vahele. Olin vaatepildist nii rabatud, et ei julgenud enda ümbergi pilku heita, kui kuulsin äkki enda lähedal vaikset nihelemist. Ma ei suutnud panna ennast selja taha vaatama, vaid pidasin paremaks hinge kinni hoida ja loota, et see kaob ära. Kuid kadumise asemel kostus nüüd juba selgelt klõbinat ja mu silmade eest lendas sujuvalt uus ports vikerkaaretoonides mulle.
Ma olin kui halvatud – ootasin juba naeru, mis mu tagant kindlasti kohe kostuma pidanuks, kuid seda ei järgnenud, vaid klõbin ja uus ports mulle.
Mu süda lõi ikka veel aeglaselt ja külm oli, kuid ma sundisin ennast nüüd pöörduma, et näha inimest, kes oli mu õudusunenägude autoriks. Keerasin end hästi aeglaselt ja nägin enda ees Ory, istumas terrassi käsipuul, käes topsik ja traadist keeratud rõngaga tikk.
"Ory!" pahvatasin ja päästsin õhu kopsudest valla, kuid keha oli ikka sama jäik kui enne.
"Sind on nii kerge ehmatada," Muigas ta lõbusalt ja puhus uued mullid lendu.
Ohkasin südamest, kuid tundsin, et saan taas jalgu liigutada. Ma ei saanud aru, mis siin naljakat oli? Surusin käed rinnale risti, jahe hakkas.
Koerad olid vahepeal end juba terrassile istuma sättinud ja seega polnud mul enam mingit põhjust ennast siin külmetada. Olin paari sekundiga samuti terrassil ja avasin juba ust kui Ory mu tee kinni pani.
"Oota, oota nüüd!"
Jäin seisma ja lasin ukse tagasi kinni vajuda. Ma ei tahtnud temaga täna mingit vestlust pidada, kuid mööda poleks ma tast ka nii kergelt pääsenud.
Kollase laternavalguse ümber jätkas ööliblikas oma värelevat surmatantsu ja ma seisin siin, ootasin, täpselt nagu ta palus.
"Istu," pakkus ta pingil istet, kuid ma raputasin eitavalt pead.
"Mul on külm." Ütlesin tõsiselt ja tõmbasin oma niigi õhukest heegeldatud salli ihule lähemale. Poleks arvanud, et maikuu viimased ööd nii külmad võivad olla.
"Siin on kellegi tekk," osutas ta lapitekile pingi teises otsas ja nullis seega mu igasugused võimalused ära hiilida.
"Ory…" üritasin siiski, kuid ta puhus uue pahmaka mulle minu poole, nii et ma komistasin ja ikkagi istuma prantsatasin..
"See ei võta kaua." Vastas ta rahulikult ja istus tagasi käsipuule.
Kahtlesin, kas ta seda tõsiselt mõtles, kuid ta vaikis, puhudes vaid oma järjekordseid keerulisi mulle niigi hirmutavasse uttu.
Ta oli juba enam-vähem täiskasvanu ja mängis ikka veel seebimullidega? Samas, see tundus nii rahustav tegevus.
"Kuule," tõusin kiiresti ja astusin tema ette, "ma tahan ka proovida." Tahtsin topsi võtta, kuid ta ei kavatsenudki seda loovutada, vaid lasi ainult rõngast lahti. Võtsin pakutu vastu, solistasin hetkeks seebivees ja tumeneva taeva poole tõusis nüüd ka minu hingeõhuga täidetud rida mulle. Naeratasin meelitatult. Kordasin oma tegevust ja päästsin teise satsi taeva poole.
Sirutasin käe rõngaga klaasi poole, kuid ta tõmbas selle eest ära. Pikendasin kätt, kuid ta tegi sama ja enne kui arugi sain, olin ta näole natuke liiga lähedal. See ehmatas mind ja pani tema kõigest muigama.
Jäin temaga sõnatult tõtt vaatama, käsi ikka veel rõnga küljes. Tekkis ebamugav vaikus..
Järsku kõlas me kõrval ukse paugutus ja me kõrvale imbus kiiremini kui ma käe ära jõudsin tõmmata South.
Ma praktiliselt hüppasin tast eemale ja kadusin kiiresti vestipüüli. Jäin sinna hetkeks seisma, et hinge tõmmata kui tajusin, et välisuks, mis kunagi kinni ei seisnud, ei suutnud seda praegugi teha ja vajus pooleldi lahti.
„Taevas halasta, ära ütle, et ta sulle meeldima on hakanud?“ hüüdis South pahaselt ja viibutas sõrme, kõikudes ise rohkem kui tema sõrm.
Ma poleks sinna hetkekski kauemaks jäänud, kuid see köitis mu tähelepanu. Pöörasin end kiiruga ukse poole.
„South, sa oled purjus.“ Sõnas Ory rahulikult.
„Ei, ei lähe sa praegu kuhugi!“ Keelas South.
„Ma ei olnud kuhugi minemas.“ Vastas ta tüdinult.
„Jah või ei! Kogu see aeg-„ ta rüüpas õlut, kuulsin seda selgelt.
„Ei, ta ei meeldi mulle.“ Teatas Ory pahaselt ja tõusis, et South eest ära lükata kui ta polk äkki minu peale pidama jäi ja ta tardus. Ta polnud silmnähtavalt arvanud, et ma veel siin olin.
Ka South pöördus, et näha, mis Oryt niivõrd kohutas, kuid ma tõmbusin targu tagasi, jäämata ootama, mis veel ette võiks tulla.
See haavas. Kuid ma polnud päris kindel, kas rohkem teda või mind.
Läksin tagasi ülejäänud grupi juurde, nad olid enam-vähem kõik purjus.
„Nooh?“ uuris Simon kui ma tema kõrvale istusin. „Mis mesilane sind vahepeal nõelas?“
Heitsin talle küsiva pilgu, kuid ta ainult naeris ja heitis oma suured kämblad ümber mu õblukeste õlgade.
„Oh. Ära muretse, näe – võta üks õlu!“ ja ta lükkas mulle ette pindi vaadiõlut. Raputasin viisakalt pead. „Tohoh? Õlul on midagi viga?“ pahandas ta teeseldult ja kallas ise selle kahe sõõmuga kõrist alla. „Põle nagu midagi viriseda.“
„Joo aga terviseks.“ Naeratasin talle vaevata, patsutasin õlale ja tõmbusin tast igaks juhuks eemale , et ta ei saaks mind uuesti süleleda, sest ta hingeõhk oli tappev. Kuna tundsin, et olin neist joomises ka lootusetult maha jäänud ja janu ka nagu polnud, soovisin neile ilusat pidu ja läksin ära magama.
Sain end just öösärki riietatud kui uksel kõlas vaikne koputus ja Gea sisse piilus.
„Hei, oled sa veel üleval?“
Noogutasin.
„Kas sa koerad said tuppa?“
„Nad jäid minust Southi ja Oryga terrassile.“
„Aa, siis on kõik korras.“ Naeratas ta ja soovis head ööd.
Ootasin, kuni enam tema samme ei kuulnud ja ronisin teki alla. Proovisin magama jääda, kuid ei suutnud.
Umbes tund aega hiljem kuulsin taas samme – need tulid lähemale ja lähemale, kuni peatusid mu ukse taga. Hingasin hästi vaikselt, et kuulda vähimatki liigutust, mida ukseta olija võinuks teha, kuid midagi ei järgnenud. Uued sammud lähenesid ja esimesed astusid kiiresti edasi. Järgmisena kuulsin juba selgelt, et see oli Ory, kes magama tuli. Kuulsin, kuidas ta oma rasked noad kolinaga lauale pani, kuidas ta solinal kaela ja nägu pesi ja siis, kuidas ta oma konkule heitis. Siis tuli vaikus.
Ootasin hetke veel ja sirutasin käe mööda seina külma pinda nii kõrgele kui ulatusin ja lasin sel siis tagasi külje peale vajuda.
Surusin silmad kinni ja hakkasin mõtete koondamise asemel ümisema, et niigi tülikas mõtlemine hoopis unustada. Lasksin nii umbes pool tundi kui mu kõrvu jõudis heli, mis oli tugevam kui koputus ja vähem dramaatiline kui lõpeta-ära tagumine. Jäin igaks juhuks vait – kas ma olin tõesti nii valju häälega laulnud? Ta koputas uuesti, vaikselt, kolm korda. See kõlas tuhmilt, pigem nagu oleks seina harjaga puudutatud.
Morse? Vaevalt selleks olid löögid liiga hajali. Ta kordas koputust, kuid ma ei vastanud.
„Mine magama!“ sosistasin ja tõmbasin padja kõrvadele. „Mine magama…“ nagu palutult koputused lakkasid.

Hommik tuli liiga vara- täpselt kellviis lõin silmad lahti ja enam magada ei saanud. Toas oli jahe ja niiske. Oleksin pidanud akna eile ikkagi kinni panema. Vinnasin oma raske keha voodist välja ja tõmbasin teki endale ümber, et vähendada seda külmatunnet, mis kõigest hoolimata mu kontideni küündis.
Kogu see mõte korraldada üks kahenädalane suvelaager täiesti võõrastele tundus nüüd väga nõme. Kui välja arvata, et meid ühendas üks foorum, olime me ikkagi praktiliselt võhivõõrad. Mis pidi garanteerima, et me üksteisega läbi saame? Mis neil küll arus oli, kui nad selle kokku panid? Ja miks nad üldse Ory kutsusid? Kas foorumis polnud veel piisavalt aru saada, et me ei ole just ühe ruumi materjal? Või siis mind hoiatama või teda, nii et üks meist siia poleks roninud. Samas… kust nemad seda teadma pidid, et midagi sellist juhtub?
Lõpetasin arutelu ja pesin näo puhtaks veega, millega võis piima jahutada. Olin selle küll aknale päikese kätte pannud, kuid ilmselt ei soendanud see eriti. Oleks ju võinud – väljas on viimased neli päeva olnud miinimum 20˚C. Viskasin vee aknast otse põõsastele ja toppisin selga oma ainuma sooja riideeseme, mille olin taibanud kaasa võtta – karmikoeline soonikuline väga inetu kõrge kaelusega rohelise kampsuni. Pikad püksid tundusid aga liiast ja ma otsisin välja hoopis roosad purjepüksid.
Jõudsin alla ja panin vee tulele. Otsisin teed, kuid ei leidnud seda kusagilt, kuigi eile õhtul oli purk veel laual. Üldse oli tervet elamist vaadates tunne, nagu oleks siit sõda üle käinud – kõikjal vedelesid tühjad pudelid, puruks rebitud ajalehed segamini saia ja kellegi sukkadega.
„Täna peab kindlasti mingi koristusaktsiooni tegema.“ Mõtlesin endamisi ja kratsisin kukalt. Akna klaasi juures pinises sääski. Teed oli ilmselgelt mõttetu otsida, seepärast haarasin hoopis laualt käärid ja topsi ning suundusin välja mustsõstralehtede järele. Mõne minuti pärast podisesid need juba pliidil.
Kui ma seal sedasi nende podisemist vaatasin, kuulsin põrandalaudade kriiksumist ja Ory tuli rahulikul sammul väljast. Krõbistasin kausist eel alles jäänud krõpse.
„Hommikust,“ ütles ta, vist üllatunud, et ma nii vara üleval olin. Ta asetas kibuvitsaõied, mida ta ennist sõrmede vahel keerutas, väikesele külmikule. Vastasin ta tervitusele.
„MA ei arvanud, et keegi nii vara üleval on.“ Alustas ta kahtlevalt ja võttis teisel pool lauda istet. Ta uuris mind nagu lootes vastusele jõuda, kas ma tõepoolest kuulsin, mida ta Southile ütles. Seda rõõmu ma talle ei kinkinud.
„Ei taha seda ise ka uskuda. Uni läks ära.“ Otsisin meeleheitlikult, millest rääkida. „Soovid teed?“
Ta noogutas.
„Need on tegelikult vaid mustsõstralehed…“ üritasin asja teha, kuid see tundus mõttetu. „Mis sind siis nii vara üles ajas?“ kui olin tee tassidesse kurnanud.
Alguses ta ei vastanud ja ma uskusin juba , et nii see ka jääb, kui ta ootamatult pahvatas: „Ma pole magama jõudnudki.“
Vaatasin teda kummaliselt. Ma ju kuulsin, kuidas ta voodisse läks.
„See tähendab,“ lisas ta ruttu, nähes et sellest ei piisa. „Ma läksin, aga und ei tulnud ja ma läksin hoopis uitama…“ ta maigutas suud, nagu ei oskaks enam rääkidagi.
Aga millest mul oligi temaga enam rääkida? Ta jättis väga vastiku meki suhu, nii ekraanil kui ka väljaspool. Arutlesin juba endamisi, kas murda Katile antud lubadust või mitte, kuid taipasin kiireti, et see oleks hetkel väga vale otsus.
Põristasin sõrmedega enda ees laual ja tunnistasin vaikuses tema süüdlaslikku olekut. See ei olnud päris see, millisena ma teda näha tahtsin, pahasena oli ta vähemalt huvitav. Niisutasin ettevaatlikult huuli.
„Tead,“ sähvasin äkki, mõtlesin siis, mida öelda kuid midagi head ei tulnud pähe. Järsku viskusin rinnuli lauale ja vajutasin huuled tema omadele. Sulgesin hetkeks silmad, et mitte ta ehmunud näkku vaadata ja ahmisin õhku, taibates, et ta tuli mu suudlusele vastu. Ta hingamine takerdus ja õhk, mid mu põski riivas oli põletav. Ka minu südamelöögid olid muutunud kiiremaks ja keha vajus raskelt lauale, ent hetke enne täielikku alistumist sirutasin siiski käe välja ja lükkasin ta endast eemale.
„Ma nimetaks seda meeldimiseks?“ tähendasin kähinal ja ajasin oma kangestunud keha laua pealt üles. Haarasin tassi, mis ähvardas ümber kukkuda ja tõttasin välisukse poole.
Sama ootamatult kui ma laua tagant olin spurtinud langes mu pilk kahele jalapaarile, mis mu teed takistasid. Kergitasin silmi ja vaatasin tõtt Sassi ja Indrekuga. Üle mu selgroo jooksid külmavärinad. Kaua nad seal juba seisid?
„Hommikust!“ torkasin pahaselt nende keeletuid nägusid fikseerides.
Indrek ärka esimesena. „Mida see veel pidi tähendama?“
„Täpselt seda, mida te just nägite, nii, kas ma saaksin teist nüüd mööda?“ torkasin sõrmed Sassi ribide vahele, nii et ta oli sunnitud mu teelt kõrvale tõmbuma ja astusin tast hoogsalt mööda. Otsustasin seekord mitte kuulama jääda, mida nad omavahel rääkisid ja otsisin pelgupaika kiigelt, kus ma sain lõpuks keskenduda rahunemisele.
Sättisin nüüdseks juba jahtunud tee vastu otsaesist ja hingasin sügavalt sisse ja välja. Kogu sellest situatsioonist hoolimata pidin möönma, et ma polnud tema suhtes samuti teab mis ükskõikne.
„Loll oled, tüdruk!“ sõitlesin ennast, väga loll – meil on ju nädal aega veel vaja siin olla. Oleksin ma rahulikult paigal püsinud ja oma suu kinni hoidnud, oleksin saanud hiljem. Öelda, et näe, kiusavad ja Gea või kellegi najal end välja nutta, nüüd aga saan raudse peapesu ja veel nöökimise takkaotsa. See oli vist alles üleeile kui Magda mulle pihtis, et Ory oli ka tema silmarõõm. Tüdruk oli kõigest kaheksateist! Ory aga… täitsa viktoriini küsimus – kui vana on? Issand hoia, kui ta peaks minust veel noorem olem – nagu läheks vennaga välja! Kes siin üleüldse väljaminekust rääkis. Pealegi ei paistnud ta nii noor…
Mis siin üldse tähtis oli? Tema vanus või see, et ma suudlesin just kutti, kelle vastu ma ka parima tahtmise juures ükskõikne ei ole, kuigi nädala eest pidas ta minu vastu suunatud inimjahti? Silm ette tõusid vägisi read tema viimasest foorumisse jäetud sõnumitest: „Kes see loll oli? Ma tahan isiklikult ta rajalt maha võtta ja läbi nüpeldada!!... Temast tuleks võimudele teada anda… lõpetage temaga suhtlemine, ajukääbiklust siin ei sallita…“ Mul võttis vähem kui pool minutit, et telefoninumber proffiilist eemaldada. Veel vähem, et aru saada, et loll nali oli keeranud väga halvaks.
Vajusin järjest sügavamale oma mõttemaailma kuni taipasin, et see ei viinud mind kuhugi ja pöörasin oma tähelepani mu kõrval olematus tuule käes kõikuvale heinale. Poisid ei olnud kõike maha niitnud.
Kuulsin lähenevat sahinat ja vaatasin ettevaatlikult Melissa poole. Kell ei saanud olla palju hilisem, kuid oli ebatõenäoline, et me väike keelemäng veel kellelegi saladuseks on jäänud.
Melissa kahlas rahulikult nagu talle kombeks oli, läbi pehme ristikheina ja võttis mu ees palgil istet. Selle asemel, et alustada pikka vestlust, hakkas ta hoopis küünelauseid puhastama. Kiikusin vaikselt edasi-tagasi ja jälgisin tusaselt tema tegevust.
„Niisiis, mis toimub?“ üritasin võimalikult rahulikuks jääda – meessool oli teinekord arukust taolised sündmused enda teada jätta.
„Ei midagi?“ ta heitis mulle mureliku pilgu. „Enamus parandavad pead?“
Õnnis õhtu!
„Ahjaa, ja Indrek laenas su põrnikat.“
Lõin jalad ehmunult liiva „Mida?“
„Nad läksid süüa tooma.“
„Kellega?“ lootsin kuulda, et üks neist oli Ory, kuid pidin pettuma.
„Sassiga.“
Vähemalt suur lobalõug oli läinud. „Ja Ory?“ pärisin varjatud hirmuga.
„Läks magama. Tal oli ikka tõsine pohmakas!“ turtsatas ta ja hakkas tükeldama punast ristikut, mille ta pingi kõrvalt oli napsanud.
„Mu auto ei kuulu ühiskasutusse.“ Torisesin ja lükkasin kiige uuesti liikuma.
„Nad lubasid selle võimalikult kiiresti tagastada.“
„Kindlasti.“
„Lähme- Valeria lubas süüa teha.“ Ta tõusis ja hakkas maja poole minema.
„Ma ei ole eriti näljane.“ Üritasin viisakalt keelduda, kuid ta viibutas sõrme.
„Ära loodagi – kokkulepe oli, et hommikusöök on päeva alus. Pealegi, muidu panen sahvrile tabaluku ette.“
„Sul ei ole tabalukku.“
„Hangin. Tule nüüd!“ Ta üllas naeratus kiskus minugi suu nurgad ülespoole – ehk polnudki kõik veel hukas? Lonkisin ta järel tagasi majja ja tarbisime ära viimase saia, mille leidsime. Tõepoolest oli süüa vaja.
Toppisin viimast suutäit suhu, kui ühtäkki kuulsin magamistubade koridori poolt Oryt. Ta ei paistnud eriti rõõmus.
„Oota, kohe annan Norale.“ Torises ta telefoni ja ulatas selle siis mulle. „Sassil on sulle midagi öelda.“
Vahtisin talle otsa kui palgiga pähe saanu ja võtsin masinlikult pakutu vastu. Neelasin suutäie alla ja röögatasin, köhimisega pooleks.
„Mida?!? Kus kohas?“ Telefon suri välja enne kui vastuse sain. „Nad kuradid jäid vale parkimisega kohalikule võmmile vahele! Kas sa seda kunagi laed ka või?“ viskasin mobiili talle tagasi.
„Kus nad on?“ imestas Melissa.
„Tagasiteel.“ Vastas Ory. „Rahune maha!“ keeras ta otsa ringi ja kadus tagasi magamistuppa.
Jäin vakka. Mis mul enam öelda oli? „Aga nad maksavad ise selle trahvi! Olgu see siis nii palju kui tahes!“
„Muidugi.“ Lohutas Melissa ja patsutas mulle õlale.
„MA lähen ujuma.“ Viskasin pahaselt ja suundusin magamistuppa rannalina järgi.
Enne magamistuppa jõudmist lendas mu ees uks lahti ja South oma dressipükstega vajus mulle ette.
„Hommikust.“ Surusin vastumeelselt läbi hammaste. Ta vaatas mind pahaselt ja sügas imestunult kukalt.
Palun ole nii purjus, et ei mäleta midagi – palun!
„Hommikust?“ norskas ta ja pöördus tagasi magamistuppa.
Hingasin kergendatult ja silkasin toa poole. Viimased paar meetrit läksin kikivarvul, et Oryt mitte üles ajada, kuid nii kui ma ukse lahti tegin, vajus ka tema uks lahti. Ta istus ukse taga taburetil, selg vastu jahedat seina ja jalg ukse vahel, et see kinni ei vajuks.
Imetlesin hetke vaikides ta tumedat püksipaari ja käsi, mis vabalt ta jalgadel puhkasid. Jõudsin pilguga ta rinnani ja huulteni, mis olid väga tõsised.
Langetasin pea , ohkasin aj tõmbasin ukse piisavalt lahti, et ennast sealt vahelt läbi libistada. Jumal tänatud, et see ei kriiksunud.
Vahetasin kiiruga riideid, pööramata tähelepanu häältele, mis elutoast kõlasid. Viskasin rohelise kampsuni kõrge kaarega voodi kõrvale kiiktoolile ja tuulasin kilekottides, et ujumisriiete ülaosa leida. Pärast kõikide kottide tagurpidi pööramist leidsin otsitu ja tõmbasin selga lilla rinnahoidja. Sulgesin selja tagant klõpsud kui tabasin järsku higise seljaga, et kusagil oli tuuletõmbus. Vaatasin kohe akna poole, kuid olin selle juba ammu sulgenud. Mu kõrvu jõudis vaikne klõpsatus ja ma viskusin ehmunult mitu sammu akna poole ja pidin äärepealt komistama. Vastu ust toetus Ory, käed rinnal risti ja muigas.
„Ory!“ sain lõpuks suust. „K-kuidas sa siia said?“ mu parem käsi otsis juba pluusi.
„Tulin.“ Ta astus sammu lähemale.
Tõmbusin hirmunult temast eemale.
„Lõpeta.“ Sosistas ta pahaselt ja oli sekundiga mu ees voodil.
Sikutasin särgi selga ja üritasin jalad enese alla tõmbama, kuid ta sai neist kinni ja vajutas nad vastu madratsit paigale. „Lõpeta!“ kordas ta tigedalt „Ma…“
Jäin vagusi ja ta lasi mu jalad lahti. Nägin selgelt kuidas ta keha pärlendas.
„Ma…“ alustas ta ärevalt, kuid jätkas siis mõõdukalt, „Sa käid paljajalu. Ja räägid keeles, millest keegi aru ei saa. Su naljadel ei ole piiri ja sa ei salli silma otsastki tarakane. Su juuksed ei ole punased, kuigi sa seda väidad ja sa ei võrdsustad mind ilmselt tarakanidega.“
Vahtisin teda ammulisui, kuid ei osanud midagi öelda. Ta jätkas, hoidudes mulle silma vaatamast, kuid ta pilk liikus mööda mu keha edasi.
„Sa suutsid mu endast välja ajada ja ometi kirjutasin ma üles sinu telefoninumbri. Sa ei pea lugu poliitikast ega spordist, kuid oskad ikkagi peast ette kanda terve jalgpalli meeskonna nimed ja kes on järgmine nimi, kes juristidele ette jääb. Ma olen sind jälginud, kuid sa ei paista heidutatuna, et oled koos inimestega, kes kavatsesid su kommuunist välja visata. Ja sa ei ole näidanud mingitki märke sellest, et sa minu vastu vimma peaks. Ja ometi kõikidest maailma plikadest oled sina see, kes mu maailma tuksi keeras. See väike keelemäng köögis – kas see oli kättemaks?“
„Höh?“ Kardan, et mu silmad ei veninud enam suuremaks. „Mida?“
Ta lükkas end põlvili ja asetas oma käed mulle kõrvale, nii et ta nägu jäi minu omast vaid loetud sentimeetrite kaugusele ning puuris oma pilgu mulle silmadesse.
Äkki lendas uks lahti ja Magda lendas sisse.
„Melissa ütles, et sa lähed ujuma! Kas ma võin… Oh-oh-oo…“ ta jäi pahviks löödult keset tuba seisma.
Ory tõmbus must sama üllatunult eemale ja jäi siis, kui esimene ematus möödus, tüdrukule veriselt otsa vaatama.
„Mine ära!“ sisistas ta läbi hammaste. „Mine ära!“
Magda võpatas ja talle tuli eluvaim sisse tagasi. „Oh, vabandust Ma ei arvanud…“ ta läks silmnähtavalt pabinasse.
„Lase jalga!“ röögatas Ory ja tüdruk kadus kui tinavälk, kuid jättis ukse enda tagant kinni panemata. Ory mühatas ja ajas end vastumeelselt üles, et see kinni panna.
Kasutasin juhust ja hüppasin ise ka püsti. Ta jäi ukse juurde seisma ja pööras end minu poole, käed uuesti rinnal risti.
Astusin tema juurde ja tõmbasin kerge liigutusega ta käed alla, põimides oma sõrmed tugevalt tema omadega. Ta jälgis mu tegevust ükskõikselt, kuid kui ma liiga lähedale sattusin, tajusin, kuidas ta lausa hõõgus. Libistasin käe üle veeni ja tundsin pulssi, mis tundus kiirem kui paar päeva tagasi kui tüdrukud poistel pärast kilomeetrist jooksu pulssi pidid mõõtma.
Piilusin tuka alt ta nägu, see oli tõsine ja ärevil. Ta ootas ilmselt siiani vastust selle kättemaksu osas. Ta oli selle ideega vist liiga kaua omaette mänginud, ta silmad olid nii suured ja murelikud.
Järsku sai ta kannatus otsa ja ta tõmbas mu veelgi lähemale. Ta pea jõnksatas madalamale ja ta üritas mind suudelda. Vastasin sellele rõõmuga, ent üritasin end siiski varsti end lahti tõmmata, kuid ta käsi liikus kiiresti mu kaelale ning mul polnud enam kuhugi taganeda.
Järsku kõlas teiselt poolt ust vali koputus ja mütakas vastu puitu eesmärgiga uks lahti lükataq. See oli nii kõva, et tundsin kuidas see Ory vankuma lõi.
„Kurat!“ pahandas ta kui oli sunnitud katkestama.
„Ory, oled sa seal?“ röökis South teisel pool ust.
Mu kulm kiskus vägisi kipra. Tahtsin end lahti tõmmata.
„Ma lähen parem ujuma…“ teatasin tusaselt, kuid mu tee katkestati.
„Las ta olla.“ Raputas ta pead ja surus end kogu kehaga vastu ust – siin puudusid igasugused lukud ja South oli tugev, vähemalt oli tal massi, millega tahtmise korral uks lahti suruda. Kuid Ory surus jalad põranda vastu nii et see ukse kinni kiilus ja tõmbas mu enda vastu, nii et ka minu raskus tema omale lisandus ja uks jäi suletuks.

Kadunud koer

2008-03-30T14:25:00.001-07:00

„Vabandage, palju kell on?“
Pikk must kuju koputab mulle õlale kui olin just möödumas Vaksali sotsiaalametist.
Peatun, kougin sügavalt rebenenud põhjaga taskust kella. Vana mobiil, aga piisavalt hea veel helistamiseks.
„Pool kaksteist.“
„Tänan.“
Kuju teeb kerge kummardus ja sätib ennast maja seina vastu suitsu tegema.
Üks pilk temale ja ma jätkan teed, vedades sõrmega tülpinult mööda halli värvi aialippe. Need ümbritsevad vana maja ja selle hukka läinud aeda. Maja värv on juba ammu hakanud maha kooruma ja selle ühe akna ees turritavad siiani kaheksakümnendatel poodidele omased võred- nagu päikesekiired, mis väljuvad kõik ühest ainsast päikesest akna paremas ülaservas.
Teine aken on ümmarguse kiviga sisse löödud. Jään seda hetkeks silmitsema- klaas on viisakalt tolmuga kattunud, särades nüüd sama hallilt vastu nagu tänavasillutis, ent peegeldab veel piisavalt moodsat rohelist maja, mis tema vastas asub.
Keegi on seda auku ilustamas käinud- väikese haamrikesega on augu ümbert sisse toksitud kaks lehvi ja mingi kolmnurkne asi kõige all.
„Jõulumeeleolud!“ naeratan nukralt. See tahab vist olla aisakell.
Kuulen eemalt jälle seda sama naeruprahvakat.
Need on kaks tüüpi, kes mul Kuperjanovist saati kannul on püsinud. Et nad ka sammugi must maha ei jää.
Otsustan täna mitte Ilmatsalu ringini jalutada, vaid teha ring seal, kus on tänavavalgus.
Kahju, ma oleksin tahtnud hea meelega tähti näha, kuigi on kahtlane, et nad täna näha on.
Ma surun sõrmed sügavamale taskusse ja keeran ennast uuesti tänavaga ühte suunda ning jätkan teed. Oleks pidanud täna ikkagi kindad kätte panema. Ja mantli selga. See jope on küll soe, kuid ei pea hästi tuult kinni.
Äkki märkan silmanurgast tuttavat kuju, kes raudteelt kindlal sammul minu poole tuleb.
Jah, nüüd meenub küll. See on see sama tüüp, kes ennist kella küsis.
Toksan saapa ninaga kivikese veerema ja jätkan teed, ilma et oleks eriti kõrvale piilunud, miks ta seal oli või mis plaanid tal on. Pole nagu et minu asi.
„Kas te teate, et need kaks jälitavad teid?“ ütleb hääl vaikselt, kui mees minuni jõuab ja mu kõrvale asub.
Ta on päris pikk.
„Tean.“ Vastan ükskõikselt.
Ta on täitsa meeldiva välimusega.
Jätkame teed kahekesi. Ma hoidun teda uurimast. Ainuke pilk, mille ma siiski talle saadan, ei anna ka midagi juurde. Aga see on täitsa tore.
Need kaks järgnevad meile ikka veel, kuid paistsid nüüd kahevahel, kas jätkata või loobuda.
Soovitan neil mõttes loobuda ja oma urgu tagasi ronida.
Jäin mehest poole sammu võrra maha, rohkema puhul aeglustas ka tema sammu ja uurisin oma ootamatut saatjat natuke lähemalt.
Ta mantel kattub kergete lumeudemetega, mis taevast alla on hakanud vajuma.
Ta lõhnas suitsu järgi. Wall Street, kui ma ei eksi.
Meie jälitajad on meist maha jäänud, kuid järgnevad meile ikka veel. Nad vaidlevad ägedalt millegi üle keeles, millest ma aru ei saa. See on vist poola.
Tunnen, et ta juhib mind. Ta käsi on tõepoolest üsna kindlalt vastu mu selga. Lasen tal seda teha. Ega mul midagi paremat hetkel niikuinii teha pole, miks siis mitte natuke aega veeta.
Keerame garaažide vahele ja ta peatub selle juures, millele on trafo kinnitatud, ning otsib pükste põlvetaskutest välja paki sigarette ja välgumihkli.
Jään tema ette seisma, seljaga tänava poole ja vaatan, kuidas ta hooletult paki lahti teeb, sealt ühe välja koputab ja selle siis huulte vahele haarab. Ta pakub mullegi ühe- kui viisakas. Keeldun. Metallist kulunud märgiga välgumihkel tema käes süttib alles neljandal katsel, kuid siis juba suure heleda leegiga.
Ootame mõlemad põnevusega, kuni jälitajad meieni jõuavad. Üks neist tahab küll meie poole sammu teha, kuid teine tõmbab ta tagasi ja nad mööduvad meist ohutus kaugusel.
Ta tõmbab uue pahvi ja puhub selle kõrvale, mulle pikalt otse silma vaadates.
Pean vastu ega pööragi pilku ära. Pole ma mõni väike lambake, kes hunti nähes kohe metsa punub, kus hundil teda kergem kätte on saada.
Järgmine mahv.
Ta nägu tõmbub hetkeks naerule.
Minu oma mitte.
„Kas sa kodus ei peaks olema?“ küsib ta kõrvale vaadates.
„Ei.“ Vastan lühidalt, i tähte pikemaks venitades, kuid lõpetan selle kohe ära, mõistes, kui lapsik see on.
„Mis sa siis siin nii hilja teed?“
„Kasutasin kahte jäset selleks, milleks nad loodud on.“
„Sellisel kellaajal?“
Paneb lausa imestama, et ta seda eelmist vastust nalja või solvanguna ei võtnud. Tore.
„Jah.“
Mees mu ees sülitab suitsukontsu märjaks ja viskab selle minema.
„Sa pimedaid tänavaid ei karda?“
„Kas ma peaksin?“ Üritan mitte naerma hakata.
„Vägistajad, röövlid... tänavatel liigub ju igasugust kõntsa.“
„Ja milliste hulka teie kuulute?“ ei saa ma mitte küsimata jätta. Jumal tänatud, et mul mingit imelikku naljatuju ei ole, sest oleksin ma selle küsimuse juures kihistama hakanud, ei oleks vist pooltki nii ohutu öistel tänavatel kõndida.
Muie ta näol oli piisav vastus.
Ta sirutas mulle käe.
„Mungo.“
„Siret.“ Vastan kätt surudes.
Tal on soe käsi. Armas.
„Jalutad veel või on tänaseks su jalutuskäik läbi?“
Kas see on kutse?
„Jalutan veel. Ma alles poole peal.“
Ta ajab ennast püsti ja patsutab pintsaku tolmust puhtaks.
„Alles poole peal?“ imestab mu uus ootamatu teekaaslane. „Sa käid mingit kindlat teed pidi?“
„Ei.“
„Kuidas sa siis poole peal saad olla?“
„Olen.“
„Ok.“
Kusagilt kõlab Apocalyptica. Otsin salamisi selle allikat kuni jõuan pilguga tema rinnani.
„Su rind laulab.“ Annan talle enda arust vägagi ühemõtteliselt märku.
„Mida?“ ta oli ammu mõtetega teises ilmaruumis. See on hea. Siis ei pea ma temaga pikalt vestlema.
„Su mängija.“ Näitan sõrmega mantli varjust paistvat kõrvaklapile.
„See...“ Ta hakkab kohe taskus mingit nuppu otsima ning selle lõpuks leidnud, jääb muusika vait. „Vabandust.“
„Pole midagi.“
„Käid sa siin tihti?“ vahetab ta kiiresti teemat.
„Siis kui Tartus olen. Sina?“
„Üsnagi.“
„Oled mõni neist ööloomadest?“
Vaikne ühmatus.
„Ööloomadest?“
„Ma ei tea. Mõni unetu või...“
„Gothic?“
Heidan talle hindava pilgu pealaest jalatallani.
„Võimalik.“
„Sa hindad inimesi välimuse järgi?“
See kõlas väga solvavalt.
„Ei.“ Vastan järsult.
„Oled ise mõni gothic esindaja?“
„Ei.“
„Tahaksid olla?“
„Tahtmisel on ses osas minu arust väga vähe tegemist, või kuidas?“
„Tõsi.“
„Eks ma mingil määral olen, kuid päris puhas küll mitte.“
„Öö austajanna wannabe?“ muheles ta rõõmsalt, nagu olles õnnelik, et suutis lõpuks ühe ära tunda. On lausa rõõm ta tulisus maha jahutada.
„See, kui ma kuulan taolist muusikat ja pean mõningatest asjadest lugu, ei tee mind veel selleks. Ma ei taha selleks saada, seega ei ole ma ka wannabe.“
„Millest sa siis ses subkultuuris lugu ei pea?“ uuris ta lõbusa muigega.
„Verekultusest.“
„Verekultusest? See ju üks põhilisi ideid.“
Oli ülimalt selge, et ta noris mu kallal. Ja ma ei kannata kuigi kaua, kui keegi minu kallal urgitseb.
„Kui sa seda arvad, on me jutt lühike.“
„Tohoh!“ ta jäi seisma. „Mis sind siis nii häirib?“
„Sel puudub tõepõhi. Mingi tüüp kargleb ringi, topib hambad suhu, hüüab, et tema on nüüd vampiir, on kogu maailma peale vihane ja kuulab Marilyn Mansonit ja on selleläbi gothic. Ja see, kuidas neid on mustmiljon ja siis tee kellelegi selgeks, et see on lihtsalt ületähtsustatud tükike kogu olemusest, aga mitte põhiidee, on päris jama.“
„Vau.“ Ta vaatas mind suurte silmadega ning noogutas tunnustavalt. „On tore kohata lõpuks ka kedagi, kes ei ole massigoth.“
„Parandus, ma ei ole...“
„selge, pole vaja selle pärast närvi minna.“
„Ega ma siis ei lähe.“
Läheme edasi. Tunnen, et mu tuju on parem kui enne. Naer kipub peale.
„Mis sind naerma ajab?“
„See dialoog.“
Ka Mungo näole ilmub naeratus.
„Nii et sul tõepoolest pole mingit põhjust, miks sa siin käid?“
„Sama palju kui sinul.“
„Oh,“ ta muutub äkki väga elavaks, „aga mul on isegi põhjus!“ hüüatab ta äkki.
„Tõesti?“ raske uskuda.
„Jah, mu koer. Ta jookseb kodunt nii kolm korda kuus minema ja ma käin teda siis otsimas.“
„Heh, ja sa arvad, et leiad ta kusagilt siit?“
Ta kehitab õlgu.
„Ei tea, viimased kolm korda küll.“
„Vana ta on?“
„Misasi?“
„Su koer.“
„Kolmene või nii.“
„Miks sa teda siis ei hüüa, kui ta sul kadunud on?“ Panen imeks.
„Sest ta on kurt.“
Tunnen, kuidas mu kulmud kõrgele tõusevad, kuid lasen neil rahulikult alla tagasi vajuda.
„Vabandust, ei teadnud.“
„Ega sa poleks saanudki.“ Ta otsib taskust uuesti suitsupaki. „Pealegi, tal on oma pesa, seal, teiselpool Tartu maja. Kui ta ära kaob, ilmub ta alati sinna. Valvur helistas mulle täna ,et ta on jälle seal.“
„Tubli valvur.“ Märgin tunnustavalt. „Mis ta nimi on?“
„Valvuri?“
„Koera.“ Mu suunurk tõuseb paar millimeetrit kõrgemale, kuigi ma saan väga hästi aru, et ta ainult lollitab.
„Asprin.“
Ta peab hetkeks kinni, et suits põlema panna.
„Nagu see kirjanik...“
„Kirjanik?“
„Jah, Robert Asprin. Ta kirjutab neid seiklusjutte, neid, noh, ei tule meelde. Neid Aahzi ja Skeeve seiklusi.“
„Aa, sa mõtled „Müüt ja eksiteed“. Tean neid küll. Minu lemmik sealt on see Pandiplika.“
„Ei tea, pole lugenud.“
„Mm? Aga kirjanikku tead küll?“
„Mu vend loeb neid päris palju.“
„Soovitan pihku võtta- täitsa loetav raamat oli.“
„Jätan meelde.“
Ta on oma suitsu põlema saanud ja me jätkame teed. Me ei kiirusta eriti, sest sel nagu puudub mingigi mõte.
„Kuhu sa muidu minna mõtlesid?“
„Jalutada? Ega mul kindlat plaani polnudki. Ilmatsalu ringini või nii.“
„Kui tohib, ma saadaks teid.“
See paistab huvitav ettepanek ja enne, kui endale vähemgi aru annan, kehitan ükskõikselt õlgu.
Äkki puhken naerma, „Aga ma ei kavatsenud täna enam kaugele minna.“
Ta ühmad lõbusalt ning tõmbab öös erepunaselt särama löönud suitsust veel ühe sõõmu.
„Tartu majani?“
„Ma ei tea, kusagile sinna vast jah.“

Let me get it straight...

2008-03-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

I coninued chewing the candy, letting it float from one side of the mouth to another, observing the creature, who stood in front of me, on the table.
"So..." I started, with irony hidden in my voice, "let me get it straight..." I through away the bitter part of the candy I never liked, "they say you are an archangel?"
He nodded. I agreed. I put next candy in my mouth and startid eating it, before popping the main question.
"You don't look like one."
He didn't look suprised, which was fine by me, but it was a bit annoying really as he looked basecly terrible. Not even horrifying, but simply terrible. I guess you could consider him a good-looking, but under that junk he wore, it was hard to tell.
"I am not coming with you." I declared pluntly and turned around to get on with my work, digging deep in the candy box for a new one.
The book I was reading landed a moment later on the floor.
"Hei! I needed that! Get your own from the library if you need one!" I took it up again and cleaned it before puting it back in front of me. "I don't care, who you are, but as I told to that other guy, I am not coming!"
He seemed puzzled. Do they ever change information with each other up there?
"That guy - in the corner!" I pointed out and fealt the cold breeze his robe created, when he suddenly turned, eyes huge, looking bigger with every moment, like when you upset a pundle of beez. That I did not expect. "Oh my!" I breethed out and backed off on my bed, stearing at the two huge creatures shissing at each other like snakes.
Few minutes after the thing started, it was over, with the second intruder's obvious win. And by the black fire coming from the corps I kinda knew now, who the good guy was.
I saw the intruder coming for me, but I raised the only thing I knew would help if they were demons - my tiny copper circle with cross carved on it.
"If you do that to me," I pointed at the body on the floor, "I will come and haunt you!"
He obviously didn't like that, because he stopped for a second, then grabbed my arm with no warning and dragged me out of my miserable hideout.
People do stupid things, when they are under pressure - I for example grabbed my little Kinder Surprise' toy, tiny car, from my night table. Why couldn't it been scisours or something? Now I was dragged out of my own home with nothing more to protect me than some plastic toy and a coat he through me while heading to the window.
"Oh no you don't!" I screamed and dug my heels deep in the red carpet that was suitable only to carbage can. "Did God give you only half a brain?!" That helped and I landed back on my ass on the carpet with his very angry eyes burning my blushed skin. Big mouthed girls have very short life expectancy.
He raised his right hand and showed towards the window.
"Stairs! Door!" I showed the blanck wooden piece in the other end of the wall. "I can't fly and nothing you say or do can change that!"
Wrong answer – the hand tore me up and out of the window faster than the car I was holding hit the floor. Just as my body, that indeed couldn't fly hit the street from six storeys high.
I stared at the people, who ran towards my ligfeless mashed body, from the roof just opposite to my flat with growing frustration eating me inside. Did I just commit suicide? I was surprised – I didn't think I could just stand aside of my own body and see nothing wrong with the view. Nor did I expect myself see my own body as nothing more than smashed meat that it now was. The brains not far from the scul were a bit disturbing site, I always thought these were, where my life was canned in.
I raised my eyes towards the so-called angel next to me, who was also blancly staering my remains on the blacktop of the street. I guess he hadn't expected that, I thought ironically. He was still holding my hand like big brothers keep their tiny sisters under control.
"Umm," I started, catching his attention, "weren't you suppose to protect me from getting myself killed?"
Indeed a problem. His deep black eyes turned to me and there were not one hint of everything being ok, instead they were observing me, like asking himself what was he meant to do with me now that I wasn't useful anymore. For the living that is. I wasn't useful for the living as they couldn't contact with me anymore and considering he did fight with the other guy, who probably wanted something from me too, so I would… Wait, what DID the other guy want from me and what did this guy want from me?
"Just a little pop up quizz?" I quicly removed my hand from his and took a step back. He didn't hurry to catch me again, which probably meant my slaughtered body on the street indeed meant the end of my odyssey. "What was so important that made the two of you came after me? A-and why am I now on the street flat to my face?"
He shrugs his shoulders. The best reason I have ever seen for me to get killed. No point of asking him to repeat his answer.
"What am I suppose to do now?" I continued asking, slightly gettuing agrivated for being killed for no good reason. Asking about my resurection would probably be a bad idea anyway.
He offered me his hand again, obviously suggesting it would be good if I go with him. Using some words might help with communicating?
"I guess I can fly now?"
A slight grin ran over his so far stone carved face and he nodded slowly.
I reached him my hand and a strong grip close on it having no intentions of letting go again and I ran after his heavy steps leading us over the roofs farther away from the busy city.

Lacus Somniorum 1

2008-03-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Asi, mida võiks vast lugeda alguseks...

1.Miks toit ei maitse?
2.Milleks on vaja magada?
3.Kes on Seki ja Seril?

Ma olen siin suvelaagris juba neljandat suve. Vaimustav eraldiseisiev kohake kaljude ja järvega ja kohustusliku metsaga kõikjal sinu ümber. Romantikule vägagi sobiv kohake.
Ma ei saa mitte kurta, et siin igav oleks või miski mind väga häiriks. Kuigi ma ei ole mitte kõige romantilisem tüüp ja realistlikkuse küsimusega ka eriti ei tegele. Ma käin siin ainult selle pärast, et mu kallid vanemad seda kohakest armastavad ja neid kimbutab pidev ajapuudus minuga tagelda.
Minu nimi on Cwen. Olen noor ja väge täis. Olen täpselt nii pikk kui minu nari, millel ma öösiti magan ja täpselt nii peenike et mitte anoreksikuks pidada. Mul on sinakad silmad, mille keskel helgib ka tsipakene rohelist ja juuksevärv, mis muutub iga teine kuu- minu oma reegel, sest tavaliselt tüdin ma sellest kiiresti. Hetkel nimetatakse seda värvi vist kastanpruuniks? Järgmine võiks olla... kes teab, mis, ma ise ka veel mitte.
Riietus on mul lihtne ja labane- mida kiiremini seda on võimalik vahetada, seda rohkem ma seda naudin. Muidugi on tore ennast aeg ajalt ka üles mukkida ja siis võib olla mu reite peal sada pannalt ja piha ümber nii 4 korda vähem. Hetkel on see vaimustav lihtne riietusese küll T-särk, millele on peale maalitud punane kolmnurk ja selle keskele mingi ladina taak, mida ma ei hakka raudselt kohe praegu deffineerima.
“Sööd sa selle ää või jäädki seda imetlema?” suur rohelise peaga kahvel möödub mu kõrvast ja maandub minu ees lebavale makaronidest ülekuhjatud taldrikule.
„Mida?“ hüppan püsti ja kuulen, kuidas mu tool, millel ma hetk tagasi istusin, suure kolksuga puitpõrandat puudutab.
„Ärka üles, unimüts!“ naerab roosa lehviga brünett piiga minust paremal.
„Sa magasid jälle jah? Ma ei saa sellest üldse aru!“ lahvatab ka sinises T-särgis kiitsakas preili minust vasemal. „Sa magad ööd läbi ja siis ärkad üles ja magad veel natuke!“
„Kullake, äkki peaksid sa minema arsti juurde? Sa ei näe üldse hea välja!“ teatab meie rühma noorim, Pella, kui on lõpetanud minu taldriku tühjendamise.
Tõmban tooli tagasi püstisesse asendisse ja istun sellele uuesti.
„Aitäh, aga ma arvan, et seda mul küll vaja pole.“ Pomisen endamisi, tundes, kuidas silmalaud taas kinni hakkavad vajuma.
Juba viimased paar päeva on selline tunne ,et ainult magaks. Ja iga päevaga läheb aina raskemaks. Ma magan tegelikult normaalselt- kõik seitse tundi, mida minuvanune magama peaks. Ja ma ei ole enam väsinud, lihtsalt jään magama suvalises kohas suvalisel ajal.
Nagu näiteks nüüd.
„Pealegi,“ hõõrun silmist une välja, „mida ta mulle ikka määrab? Kofeiinitablette?“
„Kui sellest abi on?“ kehitab Pella õlgu.
„Ära muretse, küll see varsti mööda läheb, värskeõhu mürgitus ma pakun.“
„Kas tõesti? Viiendat päeva järjest?“
„Ei ole nii pikalt…“ tunnen, kuidas keha jälle ära hakkab vajuma. „Aga kuni selleni, ma lähen ütlen bossile, et ma olen haige.“ Ajan end uuesti üles ja sirutan käe taldriku järgi, kuid see tõmmatakse mult raudse kindlusega käest.
„Lõpuks ka üks mõistlik jutt!“ utsitab Pella takka ja rüüpab viimase sõõmu ollusest, mida meil palutakse viisakalt teeks kutsuda. „Kuule ,oota hetk, ma tulen tõmban sulle ka teki peale!“
„Olgu, eks siis tule.“
Olen õnnega koos, et mul Pella on. Ta on küll tüütu ja teinekord ülihoolitsev, kuid sellegipoolest tore.
Ma ei vaidle talle vastu, sest isu ei ole. Tõmbun isegi siis rohkem tahapoole kui boss- see on meie rühma juht- mind imelikult vaatab ja siis midagi mulle kõrva karjub.
Ma ei kuule, mida ta mulle kõrva karjub. Lihtsalt ei kuule.
Mingist kummalisest sekundist alates tuleb kuulmine siiski tagasi ja tahab kohe taas ära kaduda kui see häälevoog mulle kõrva jõuab.
„…HAD SA VOODISSE HEITA?“
Pakun, et oleks vast parem küll.
„Olgu siis, mine!“
„Tänan, boss!“ löön viisakalt kulpi ja loivan söögitoast välja grupi hurtsiku poole. Majaks seda päris nimetada ei saa, aga katus on pea kohal ja sisemus on soe.
Pella jääb must kiiresti maha mingi kutsikaga juttu ajama. Ma lehvitan talle nukralt hüvastijätuks ja jätkan teed.
Kutsikateks nimetatakse siin esimese aasta laagrilisi. Teine aasta kannab austavat nimetust Pardipojad, kolmas aasta on ristitud viisakalt Mantlipärijateks ja neljas, see on minu aasta- kõlab uhkelt-, on vanakesed. Sellepärast, et me oleme viimast aastat siin. Kes kauemaks tahab jääda, peab hakkama juba ise põnne kantseldama. Mina nende hulka ei kuulunud. Olin õnnelik niigi ,et sain selle viimase aasta siin veeta samas kui kodus kavandati mingit meeletut remonti ja minu suvepuhkus niigi rikutud oleks.
Vajun oma koikule ja tõmban kergelt kopituselõhnalise teki endale peale.
Silmad vajuvad kinni.

Ma olen vist liiga kaua maganud- väljas on juba õhtune punakas taevas ja kollane valgus, mis paistab täitvat kogu ümbrust. See on voolav ja paks kui siirup.
Hetkest kui ma silmad lahti lõin tunnen ma ennast jälle hästi, värske ja puhanuna.
Hingan sügavalt sisse ja välja ning keeran ennast selja peale, uurides kõike, mis minu ümber on.
See muudab mind valvsaks.
Järve poolt peaks kõlama naeru ja kilkeid, kuid seal oli vaikne, liiga vaikne. Vaikusei ole minu lemmik. Pole kunagi olnud. See on närvesööv. Minu närve sööv.
Ajan ennast istuli ja kuulatan igaks juhuks veel.
Ikka mitte midagi. Kusagil puhub kerge tuul oksi vastu katust, kuid kui ma õue vaatan, on seal täielik tuulevaikus.
Lükkan teki kõrvale ja teen paar sammu ukse poole. Põrand on külm ja niiske, nagu oleks seda just äsja pestud.
„Kus siis vaibad on?“ imestan. Siin on tavaliselt kaks vaipa maas- suur kollane ja väike rohelise-valgekirju, mis on tõmmatud risti ukse ette, et sealt tulev jahe tuppa ei tungiks.
Uks on lahti.
Sirelite lõhn tungib mulle kopsudesse ja olematu tuul puudutab kergelt põske. Kummardun, et võtta ukse kõrvalt jalanõud, kuid neid seal enam pole.
„Jätsin nad kindlasti sisse,“ otsustan ning pööran ennast ümber, kuid vajun kohe vastu uksepiita, rabatuna vaatest, mis minu ees avaneb.
Tuba on tühi- seal pole mitte midagi, jälgegi kellegi ööbimisest. Ainukesed esemed, mis sealt vastu vaatavad, on minu triibuline madrats ja roheline puuvillane tekk ja madal läbiklopitud padi.
„Ma pole vist päris ärkvel…“ üritan asja endale seletada.
Jätan susside otsimise ja lähen paljajalu järve poole. Liiv krudiseb jala all ja on soe, liivasemad kohad vahelduvad rohelisematega.
Täielik tuulevaikus, tühjus. Kükitan vee kohale ja lasen veel kergelt oma suurt varvast limpsata. See on jahe kui suve alguses, kuigi praegu on suve keskpaik.
Kuulen enda taga kergeid samme. Need jalad on saabastes, tean täpselt. Krudin on selline.
Ajan ennast rahulikult püsti ja pööran rahulikult ümber.
Minu poole kõnnib rohelises kleidis sinisilmne blondide juustega nukuke, suured tanksaapad jalas.
„Tere!“ hüüab ta juba eemalt ning paistab õnnelik, et kedagi kohtas.
„Tere!“ ei taha ka mina mitte ebaviisakaks jääda.
On kummaline ,et see daamike selline välja näeb- täpselt nagu sellel moepildil, mia ma kaks päeva tagasi vaatlesin…
Järsku daam peatub ja vaatab mulle jahmunult otsa.
„Kas liiv sind ei kõrvetagi?“
„Kuidas palun?“
„Liiv!“ näitab ta näpuga nüüd kollasele klibule. „Kõrvetab?“
„Ei, ei kõrveta. Kas peaks?“ ei saa ma ikka aru, mis talle pähe on löönud. Ehk need kollased juuksed?
„Lihtsalt, ma pole veel kunagi näinud kedagi, keda see liiv ei kõrveta!“ kehitab ta õlgu.
See on jabur jutuajamine ja hakkab muutuma tüütuks.
„Cwen!“ astun talle lähemale ja ulatan käe.
„Seril!“ vastab ta käele.
„Meeldiv tutvuda!“ noogutan talle ja pakin käed selja peale kokku. „Kas sa oskad mulle öelda, kus ma olen?“
„Mis mõttes, kus?“ ei paista ta aru saavat. „Sa oled Sisaliku orus.“
Naeratan selle peale õnnelikult, vähemalt see on paikas.
„Aga kus teised laagrilised on?“
„Laagrilised? Ei, ma pole siin kedagi näinud.“ Raputab Seril pead.
Kuna tegemist on unenäoga, siis ei peagi siin ju laagrilisi olema, mõtisklen endamisi ja hakkan endamisi itsitama.
„Mm, mis sa naerad?“ tunneb preili huvi. Ta teeb veel paar sammu mulle lähemale ja keerutab ennast nüüd ümber minu, et mind lähemalt uurida.
„Niisama.“
„Niisama? Õpetus ütleb: „Midagi ei tehta niisama.““
Ah nii? Siis pole ta vist meie laagri inimesi näinud- seal tegutsevad kõik põhimõttel: niisama.
„Ma näen und, sellepärast.“
Paistab, et mu seletus teeb talle rohkem nalja kui seletab minu tegutsemismotiive.
Ta puhkeb naerma, kihistades nagu jaapanlannad, varjates käega suu ja puha.
Ega vist ei tee jah selgeks inimesele, kes su unenäos on, et teda tegelikult ei eksisteeri.
„Tule,“ hüpleb ta äkki minust eemale, haarates minust kinni ja tirides peamaja poole. Ta on jääkülm.
Olen sunnitud talle järgnema, kuid mul pole ka selle vastu eriti midagi. Kuna tegu on unenäoga, ei saa minuga ka midagi juhtuda, on nii?
Olgu, viimane teadmine paneb hetkeks südame kiiremini põksuma, sest eks neid linnalegende ole piisavalt kuuldud.
„Kuhu me läheme?“ pärin tema hoogu veidi vähendades.
„Seki juurde!“ ta ei jää üldse seisma ja tirib mind edasi jõuga, mida ma selles hapras kehas ei uskunud olevat.
„Seki juurde?“ üritan täpsemalt teada saada.
„Jah!“
„Miks Seki juurde?“
„Seki saatis mu sinu järgi!“ naeratas Seril säravalt ja nii iseenesest mõistetavalt et see oli lause kummaline.
Otsustasin oma küsimused, mida mul aina juurde hakkas tekkima, selle Seki jaoks, sest selle daami käest ma vaevalt mingeid aktsepteeritavaid vastuseid saan.
Jõudsime peamajani ja jäin järsult seisma, pidades ka daami kinni.
Ta pööras ennast kohe minu poole.
„Mis on?“ imestas ta huuli prunti ajades.
„Ei ole midagi, ma lihtsalt kartsin, et kui sa siit tormates üles lähed, tõmbad mu pikali!“ üritan asja selgitada, kuid üsna ebaõnnestunult- neiu tõmbab mind käest edasi ja sikutab mu vastupunnimisest hoolimata trepist üles.
Nagu arvasingi lõin oma suure varba astme vastu ära ja see teeb järgmised paar tundi põrgulikku valu, häirides kogu minu olemasolevat orientatsiooni. Tegin isegi vastava häälitsuse, kuid Seril seda vist ei kuulnud. Ta paistis väga siiras noor daam, seepärast ma isegi ei kahtlustanud, et ta võis ka teeselda minu mittekuulmist.
Kõigist pingelistest astmetest hoolimata seisime lõpuks ukse ees ja neiu koputas õnnelikult ümisedes uksele. Ma vannun, et ei kuulnud, et keegi meid sisse oleks kutsunud, kuid uks avanes sellest hoolimata ja ta viipas mulle, et ma talle järgneks.
Tegin seda ja sattusin suure tühja ruumi keskele.
Ma ei mäletanud, et siin nii tühi oleks olnud… See oli liigendatud ruumiosadega väike kontor, kus asus kõik dokumenteeriv jõuk, mis sellel laagril olemas oli. Aga need vaheseinad ei olnud liigutatavad.
Oli kuidas oli, aga siin neid nüüd polnud- oli üks suur saal ja palju aknaid, millest säras sisse see sama kollane siirupjas valgus, mille allikaks oli mingi Päike kusagil, kust seda ei paistnud.
Keset tuba seisis üksik puust seljatoe ja käsitugedega tool, sellel aga oma hilis-kahekümnendates noormees hallide õlgadeni juuste ja tumesinises heledate siniste triipudega ülikonnas. Selline kiitsakam tüüp.
Ta vaatas minu poole ja paistis tõepoolest mind ootavat, sest kohe kui ma sisse astusin, sirutas ta käe välja, viibates kahele üksteise otsas olevale suurele madratsile, mis meenutas ühte neist, mille peal minagi magasin. Selle paremas otsas oli neli väikest patja ja kaks suuremat patja. Oranž tekk oli korralikult vasakusse serva keritud. Kokkuvõttes meenutas see ühte korralikku voodit.
Tatsasin talle lähemale, kuid tunnen, kuidas süda sees maratoni jooksis ja jäin siiski keset tuba seisma.
Kohe oli Seril minu selja taga ja surus mind edasi. Jalgealune läks sõna otseses mõttes tuliseks kui ta mu sirget keha minu vastu punnimisele vaatamata edasi nihutas. Lõpuks ei pidanud ma enam vastu ja astusin ise edasi, jalad ikka veel tulitamas kui pärast sütel kõndi.
„Mine, mine!“ julgustab Seril mulle kõrva sosistades.
Vaatan enda ees istuvat härrat vaikides ja oodates, mida ta edasi teeb.
„Võta istet.“ Palus ta rahulikult ning osutas jälle voodile, mis tema jalge ees asus.
„Ei tänan, ma parem seisan.“ Raputan kiirelt pead, kuid leian end järgmisel hetkel voodil istumast, pilk pööratud tema näo poole.
„Nii, kas pole mitte parem, Cwen?“ küsib ta sõbralikult ning asetab mõlemad jalad madratsite kõrvale, kummardudes mulle lähemale.
Tõmbun instinktiivselt kaugemale. Madrats on tõesti pehme, kuigi vist õlgedega täidetud, nagu see muidugi hetkel eriti loeks.
„Ei oska võrrelda, oleks seismine ebamugavam olnud?“ küsin teravalt, et ta oma pea veidi eemale tõmbaks.
Ta vaatas mulle veel hetke sügavale silma sisse- tal olid samasugused silmad kui minulgi, mis tekitas mus veidike elevust-, naeratas siis tuikavalt ning tõmbus tagasi, toetudes vastu seljatuge.
„Kas sa tead, kes ma olen?“ küsis ta hetk hiljem, vasakut jalga üle parema tõstes.
„Seril viitas sinu poole kui Sekile, aga… ei, isiklikus plaanis ei tunne.“ Üritan vaimukas olla, kuid tunnen samas, et see oli täielik läbikukkumine. Parandan ennast kohe: „Ei, ei tunne.“
„Ma olen Seki, selle unevalla ülem, kus sina ringi armastad konnata.“
Võtan selle teadmise omaks nagu kõik muugi, mida mulle viimase veerandtunni jooksul öeldud on- tegemist on unenäoga, see tähendab, kõik on võimalik.
Ma isegi ei nooguta, et teada anda, et ma aru sain. Vist. Pilgutan ainult paar korda silmi. Lõpuks teatan siiski: „Vabandust, ei saanud aru.“
Seki ei lase ennast sellest segada, vaid jätkab sama rahulikult kui enne.
„Ma olen märganud, et sa oled viimasel ajal päris palju unemaal, või kuidas?“
Tõstan sõrme püsti, nagu koolipingis.
Ta vaatab mind kummaliselt, ent jääb rahulikuks. See ongi peamine, mida tema juures märkan- tema ületamatu rahu.
„Jah?“
„Ee, ma ei käi siin nii tihti- enamuse ajast ma isegi ei näe und! Pealegi, see pole minu oma valik siin käia, kus see siin iganes ka on.“
„See et sa und ei näe, ei tähenda veel, et sa seda ei näe. Sa käid siin iga kord kui oma silmalaud kinni vajutad.“ Ta tõstis käe, mida ta ennist kõrval oli viibutanud endale huulte lähedale, tõmbas siis kopsud õhku täis… ja puhus välja suitsu.
Tundsin, kuidas mul silmad sellest suureks läksid ja ka tema märkas seda.
„Soovid ka?“ sirutas ta käe suitsuga minu poole. Raputan kiirelt pead.
„Niisiis, sa käid siin väga tihti, liigagi tihti. Hakka või arvama, et sa oled koomas nagu Seril siin.“
„Ei ole!“ hüüan ärritatult, nagu oleks keegi mind nõelaga susanud.
„Ei ole jah, seda ma just ju ütlesingi, et seda võiks nagu arvata. See ei tähenda, et ma seda arvan. Aga sa oled siin vallas juba liiga tihe külaline.“
„Ma ei saa aru.“ Pidasin ta hoogsa jutu kinni, „Seril on koomas?“ Vaatasin kiirelt lõbusa neiu poole enda selja taga, kes rõõmsalt mulle noogutas.
„Jah! Mingi auto ei saanud pidama.“ Seletas näitsik ja tegi kohe ühe hundiratta.
„Ja mis see minusse puutub?“
„Ei puutugi!“ lõikas mees vahele. „Sinusse puutub ainult see, et sa magad liiga palju! Mul ei ole aega kogu aeg sinuga tegeleda. Mul on ka teisi hoolealuseid.“
„Ja siis? See ei ole hetkel nagu midagi, mida ma ise eriti kontrollida saan.“
„Kes siis veel kui mitte sina?“
„Ma ei tea, aga ma oleksin ka poole õnnelikum, kui ma kogu aeg magama ei jääks.“ Ei anna ma järgi. See asi kisub väga sinnapoole, et selles hakatakse kohe mind süüdistama.
Ta vaatas mind tõsiselt ja suits ta vasaku käe sõrmede vahelt kadus.
„Pealegi arvasin, et seda kontrollid sina, kes kui palju magab!“ teen kiire bluffi, lootuses, et see midagi välja annab.
„Ei, mina seda ei kontrolli.“ Mees tõusis püsti ja Seril hüppas kohe ligi, et tool ära viia.
Vaatasin, kuidas ta seda tegi. Ta võttis sellest kinni ja taris enda järel kõige kaugema seina juurde ning viskas selle siis vastu seina, kust see kohina saatel läbi vajus või seinaga üheks sai. Igatahes see kadus.
Kergitasin imestunult kulmu.
Raputan kiirelt pead ja pööran tähelepanu taas enda ees kõrguvale mehemürakale- ta on pikem kui ma arvasin.
„Seda kontrollib su oma keha.“
„Ei saa aru.“
„Su keha kontrollib aega, millal sa magama jääd. Meie ülesanne on ainult seda aega sisustada, mil sa siin vallas viibid. Mina olen ainult illusionist, kes loob maailmu, kuhu sind saata.“ Ta istus minu kõrvale madratsile. „Ma võtan materjali sinu mälust ja loon pildid selle põhjal. Viimasel ajal magad sa aga nii palju, et sind on aina raskem lõbustada. Nüüd olengi aga punktis, kus mul ei ole mingit materjali, millega töötada- sa lihtsalt magad nii palju.“
Vaatan teda kui veidrikku, kes ta tegelikult ka on. Vastus on ju selgemast selgemgi.
„Ära siis lõbusta mind- las ma lihtsalt magan kusagil nurgas.“
„Kahjuks ei ole see võimalik.“ Raputab ta vaikselt pead.
„Miks mitte?“
„Sest see ajab inimesed hulluks.“
„Aa!“ teen näo, et ma sain aru, mis ta just ütles.
Kuulen, kuidas Seki käel miski piuksatab. Ta lükkab varruka ülespoole, paljastades kuldse sinise põhjaga käekella.
„Olgu kuidas on,“ muutus ta äkki elavaks. „heida nüüd pikali, sul on aeg üles tõusta!“ naeratas ta sõbralikult, silitas mul veel hetkeks juukseid.
Ta tõusis ja ma nägin, kuidas Seril talle selja taha ilmus.
Lasksin ennast voodisse pikali patjade peale ja tundsin äkki, et olen väga väsinud. Panin silmad kinni ja kõik läks mustaks.